(no subject)
why do i even want to go back to work??
1. i can draw. i mean, really draw. i've just gone over 3-days worth of lj stuff and haven't seen a single illustration that i couldn't poop all over. i mean, i even sold a doodle after a meeting at work once
2. i can sew. i could make those big foofy fishtail goth riding skirts or bustle skirts at a rate of a few a week
3. the hair. if i'd wanted to, i could've taken on a lot more orders this summer
4. the writing. i'm not the world's greatest writer but i'm very publishable if i repress any high-falutin ideas of literature
5. i do loads of crafty things as gifts for family, who then have friends who want to know where they got them. picture frames, mirrors, trinket boxes, jewellry etc.
if i could settle down and just PICK ONE DAMN THING to concentrate on, i'd be fine. i'm not organised enough outside of a corporate environment to have lots of different jobs, it'd be so much easier to be really good at one thing than kinda good at lots. so i futz about at lots of things as 'hobbies' then go do a difficult stressful job where the only way out is total career burnout (what usually happens) or a promotion to become a money manager (more likely and bleh).
i spose i can't decide and don't want to risk turning the things i enjoy into a job. i also spose it's a big part of why i want to move to an island where my only real route of income would be to get seriously back into painting, even if it is shitty watercolours for tourists. the decision's made for me then.
there's certainly bigger problems than this in the world but it's something that's been bugging me since i was a teenager. i did the art thing, had an exhibition, had a breakdown at art college and fucked off the art thing. i was then an actress, starred in two professional productions, had a breakdown (hmm, seeing a pattern here) and fucked off acting as it encourages emotional instability. went to uni, started writing, got minorly published, had a tiff with my professor and didn't get the first i wanted for my dissertation, felt betrayed by fiction and fucked THAT off. got married, made my wedding dress as was too poor to buy, HATED the damn thing as it was made of cheap floppy cotton, and have been very pft! to sewing since.
i feel like i need to pick one thing and STICK TO IT for once. i never thought i was flighty but i spose i must be. i change jobs every couple of years, too. i'm a bit rubbish really.
anyway, just musing. still not a clue where it leaves me.
1. i can draw. i mean, really draw. i've just gone over 3-days worth of lj stuff and haven't seen a single illustration that i couldn't poop all over. i mean, i even sold a doodle after a meeting at work once
2. i can sew. i could make those big foofy fishtail goth riding skirts or bustle skirts at a rate of a few a week
3. the hair. if i'd wanted to, i could've taken on a lot more orders this summer
4. the writing. i'm not the world's greatest writer but i'm very publishable if i repress any high-falutin ideas of literature
5. i do loads of crafty things as gifts for family, who then have friends who want to know where they got them. picture frames, mirrors, trinket boxes, jewellry etc.
if i could settle down and just PICK ONE DAMN THING to concentrate on, i'd be fine. i'm not organised enough outside of a corporate environment to have lots of different jobs, it'd be so much easier to be really good at one thing than kinda good at lots. so i futz about at lots of things as 'hobbies' then go do a difficult stressful job where the only way out is total career burnout (what usually happens) or a promotion to become a money manager (more likely and bleh).
i spose i can't decide and don't want to risk turning the things i enjoy into a job. i also spose it's a big part of why i want to move to an island where my only real route of income would be to get seriously back into painting, even if it is shitty watercolours for tourists. the decision's made for me then.
there's certainly bigger problems than this in the world but it's something that's been bugging me since i was a teenager. i did the art thing, had an exhibition, had a breakdown at art college and fucked off the art thing. i was then an actress, starred in two professional productions, had a breakdown (hmm, seeing a pattern here) and fucked off acting as it encourages emotional instability. went to uni, started writing, got minorly published, had a tiff with my professor and didn't get the first i wanted for my dissertation, felt betrayed by fiction and fucked THAT off. got married, made my wedding dress as was too poor to buy, HATED the damn thing as it was made of cheap floppy cotton, and have been very pft! to sewing since.
i feel like i need to pick one thing and STICK TO IT for once. i never thought i was flighty but i spose i must be. i change jobs every couple of years, too. i'm a bit rubbish really.
anyway, just musing. still not a clue where it leaves me.