why?
i thought everything was going relatively smoothly. i thought i finally had it made, i thought i was doing everything right, or at least the best that i could, being the best person, the most upstanding, supportive, key figure in helping, yet i failed. it's ironic how easily things fall apart just into a gooey mush that makes no sense; except i should have seen it coming what with the lack of real communication. too many secrets, feelings witheld or bottled up and now i'm a bad guy. a real bad guy. the ultimate bad guy, the epitimy of what i so desperately have tried to avoid for the past 19 years. i hate it, i hate when people dont like me, dont like the things that happen with me, i hate me. things are just as bad over here as they are over there. please dont hate me, in all seriousness, from the bottom of my fragile dark heart, i never, ever meant to hurt you or make things hard. . .i was only trying to help.