(no subject)

[idiotchampion]

I just don't know what to think about some things.

Six years and two days ago, Matt Shepard was murdered for being a homosexual.

I don't know what to think about that. Because. Because I just can't. I can't accept it. I can't force myself to listen, to beleive. I can't let this thought come in past my defences, no matter how hard I try.

This man, my brother, was killed. For being himself.

First reaction:

RAGE.

HATE.

...revenge.

KILL.

HURT. AVENGE!!!!

...but..

but I can't. I can't..

This killer. This murderer. He's my brother too. Or she's my sister.

Whatever the case, I can't let this happen to my brothers and sisters. I love them too much.

But it's too late. I can't go back in time. I can't stop it. It's too late, and now the murderer and victim are beyond my ability to help. They always will be. And no matter how hard I try, I can't carry everyone. I can't. But I need to. Every time a brother or sister falls, I take it as a personal failure.

And a lot of people are falling. Even I fall sometimes.

So what? So I give up now?

Isn't there some way we can stop this?

It's not fair.