(no subject)
it was really weird, yesterday i went to the gym and i weighed myself and i took off my shoes this time and it said 113.7 or something. i was shocked! ive been consuming calories everyday, probably 500-800. but i have been going to the gym everyday for that matter too at least trying to burn 200+. im not eating bad things actually, i just snack on special k cereal, rice cakes (but ive actually OD'd on them, they make me sick thinking about them i dont know why!) and thats about it. ive actually been proud of myself lately, ive been writting down goals in a journal at home and one of them is to not have regular soda anymore (im a big soda junkie, i always have been. i think i had my first soda when i was like 3! haha) so i cant give up soda entirely but i just have diet coke now or diet dr pepper. and i havent binged in awhile which makes me SO happy. i have control. i remember seeing this one picture of a girl who died right by the toilet because her stomach exploded because she ate so much. that image is stuck in my mind. and also, i ask myself, is it truly worth it to over induldge? i hate feeling uncomfortable and i even get uncomfortable if i eat just a little bit, so theres no point in consuming thousands of calories all at once. i leave for 2 weeks on tuesday to go to the east coast. we first are staying at a hotel for 3 days and i looked online and there is a gym there so im set! and then we have a beach house for the rest of the time i think theres a fitness club there too, but also i can go run on the beach. im scared about eating, i can tell im going to be saying "im not hungry" a lot. and i asked my mom if were going out to eat a lot and she said probably but i dont have to go all the time. and i wont. i mean i dont even go out to eat at home. i just want to get tan. well..if i dont update before i leave i hope all of you are doing awesome. keep it up girls, it gets tough i know. =)