Call off the cavalry
I'm exhausted and semi-sobering. My thoughts are scattered. If I screamed my mind out loud would anything change? Would you hear it? How many of you have seen me completely defenseless? What was there? Where am I going? I have so many questions and only myself to answer them, but it's like a riddle in that once I know the answers I will wonder how I didn't see them before... I just want to know the answer to the riddle because I am impatient with myself... my patience is with everyone else. But I'm learning. There are so many of you out there who I miss terribly and would love to hear your voices once in a while, but sadly I'm always the one who has to make the effort, and I don't often enough, sad as it is... I have my excuses, everyone does, but they're lame. I'm always following my heart. I like that about myself. I even enjoy some of the drawbacks. And I want to share it. It wants to be open and honest, and so I am... to an extent... I've only completely opened up to a handfull of close friends, and I suppose that's normal... but it wants something more... it's been content when life's been good, but it wants to be closer right this second. But it's trapped in my chest. Will you press your ear to me and listen?