If you’ve done things right, people won’t be sure if you’ve done anything at all.
And so it goes, the end of another year. This will be the 24th new year's eve of my life, very different from my 4th or even my 14th. At 4, I'm sure I was with my extended family at either my aunt's house or my brother's godfather's house or maybe it was a family friend. My mother probably dressed me up in a fancy little dress and shiny little shoes and I probably danced to some spanish songs for the delight of the adults. Everything was huge, the world an unknown expanse of possibility - and yet I had no idea. At 14, I believe I was at my cousin's house, probably hiding away from the extended family and family friends whose names I never really learned. We probably listened to cds and played solitaire on her computer. I must have thought that my life would be so well put together in 10 years time. Now here I am, 24 and pretty sure that in 10 years nothing will be as planned and everything will be different.
And where do I see myself in 10 years? Who knows. Maybe traveling the world, or perhaps taking a hiatus from my travels. Writing, always writing for sure. By then maybe the ol' tick-tick-boom will have hit and perhaps i'll be settled down with someone and maybe i'll even give in to the need to be immortalized in another. Again, who knows. Maybe not. Maybe i'll be alone somewhere remote doing research on some unknown tribe. Or teaching english in Japan, getting ready to toast the new year in with someone I just met a few minutes ago. I don't pretend to know what will happen, except that i'll have to wait and see.
For now, things are good. 2008 brought a lot of ups and downs just like any other year. We lost a lot of great celebrities like Bettie Page and Paul Newman and Eartha Kitt and George Carlin and the Joker himself- Heath Ledger. More importantly for me, I lost one of my best friends, my dog Sparky. Always having to defend the name choice, Sparky was a really good dog. He was sweet and loyal and was a very playful puppy. I regret not having spent more time with him, not having paid more attention. These regrets will always live with me. Sadly, time passed and he got older and older and more and more sick. At 11 years old, he was having too many health problems and physical complications. He suffered a bit at the end, and then my family decided to put him to rest. I never got to say goodbye. This was especially difficult - something I haven't really shared with anyone mostly because people probably wouldn't understand.
Two anniversaries were remembered as well - May 9th would mark 6 years since my Mama Adilia passed away. September 22nd would mark 1 year of losing my Abuelito Ramon. Both unbearably painful moments in my life. Both moments that would change my life forever in different ways. And it still seems like they never happened.
But 2008 wasn't all terrible. There was much cause for celebration, in fact! One major accomplishment in my life was finally getting a degree. Sure, it wasn't my bachelor's like so many I know have received, but at least for now I have an Associate's degree. This felt like a true achievement and a definite step in the right direction. On top of this, I got my shit together and was able to apply to various highly renowned universities, all of which I was accepted to (minus 1 which I have yet to hear from, but no matter.) I got in to the University of Miami which is where i'll be starting in January 2009. My family is proud as am I.
On Tony's side of the family, Danny finally came back home for good this time. I know the entire Roman family had been through hell and back literally waiting for him to come home in one piece and the gods really did come through and brought him back to his family and friends which I know was a huge relief and joy for everyone. And while I didn't know him too well during his time away, I've gotten to know him a lot better and we've had all kinds of great times and has become like a "younger" (hah by a day anyway) brother for me.
My family has done particularly well this year. My father and brother quit their jobs to start their own business and so far it's been going well. I'm proud of them and their workaholic tendencies. My parents have also become very giving individuals and while I may not agree with their religious beliefs, it melts my heart to think of them giving out toys to sick children in a hospital in Nicaragua out of the goodness of their hearts. I'm very proud of the work they are doing. I love my family and know I am blessed to have them. They help me and support me in every way they can and know how and I know that I really need to spend more time with them in the coming year. I also miss my extended family, on both sides. I've actually gotten to spend more time with my dad's side of the family this year than we have in maybe 5 or so years and it's been very fun. I hope to do more of that this coming year. I only got to visit Nicaragua once and unfortunately my time in Corinto with my Abuelita was limited this time, but I hope to spend more time there soon. Corinto is just a magical place and my grandmother's house is honestly one of my favorite places on earth.
Another very awesome event was Tony and I moving in to this apartment. I almost thought it wouldn't happen and then one day we found this place and snatched it up right away. Money has been tighter than it was living at the Romans, but it's been worth it being able to go to the bathroom as one pleases, to have the ability to cook anything at any time, to watch tv in the living room in your underwear, to play music loudly and dance around while you clean, to have guests over only when you want them over, to have privacy and freedom. And if anything, I think it's really just brought us together. I don't have a single complaint about living alone with Tony, although I guess sometimes I miss the cats.
In nerd news, we finished watching every single episode of the X-Files. And while the final episode and the new movie left MUCH to be desired, the show itself is pure genius. Still, I would end it at season 8.
Things have been pretty good with friends on the whole. There were some problems with a certain friend who i've worried over in the past, but she seems to be doing better and that makes me happy. All I want is for my friends to be happy, after all. I think i've gotten a little better at the whole socializing thing again as I know I had fallen off the face of the planet for a while. I hope to get even better at it this year. I also got to see a few old faces (ie. Abdul, Kristy, Jenn) and I hope to stay in contact with these and the other worthwhile people who have come in to my life over the years. It's hard to find good friends.
2008 had some pretty memorable moments. Plenty of fun friends' birthdays ie. Ale's, Sammi's, Roxy's, etc. Holidays were usually spent rather well (St. Patty's at Carlos', 4th of July at Marcos', Halloween all over the place, Thanksgiving at my and at Tony's family's house, Christmas eve w/ my family, and of course FESTIVUS!) We finally had some gatherings at our place too which was great. Board games seem to be becoming a staple at our events lately too, which I really dig. Also on the list of cool experiences - the Renaissance Festival, Baynanza Beach Clean Up, my first Free Lolita protest, the Corporate Run and the Race for the Americas, Christy's wedding in Jersey, McSorley's, my first Passion party, Joe's end of summer getty, the Miami Book Fair, the Car Show, my cousin's anniversary party, walking around DC, getting lost at 2am in Virginia, learning to belly dance, passover at Maryannes, Earth Day fest, and so many more. It's been a crazy year.
I haven't written nearly as much as I wish I had. Not articles and not for myself either. I plan to change this very soon.
And last but never least, it's been a year of firsts. This is the first job I've ever held down for more than a year. Not too exciting and honestly I don't care anyway. However! The really exciting thing is that Tony and I have passed the 2.5 year mark! My longest relationship was with Nadir and that barely made it under the 2 year point and really, it was all kinds of doomed after maybe the first year. Back then I was nothing but depressed and stoned all the time. Things are so different with Tony, though. I'm so in love, and every day it just grows. We see each other every day and night and I don't get tired of him. He understands me, he completes me, he gets me. I don't have to try to be anything I'm not around him. I don't feel vulnerable because I know he won't hurt me. We talk about everything. We play around and goof off and make jokes and laugh every single day. We tease each other and piss each other off now and again, but we always make up. We're so alike and yet dissimilar enough to not get bored or tired or aggravated in any real way. He makes me smile. He makes my heart flutter. He makes me happy, and that's all I can really ask for. What more could I want? I don't want to jinx things or anything because it's been so long (although I realize not quite as long as his other relationships), but I don't honestly see this ending in any way. I don't know what the future holds for us, but so far it looks like nothing but sunshine. We motivate each other and I hope to continue to do that for him as he has encouraged me so much in these last two years. Even as he snores away on the couch right now, I can't help but feel incredibly lucky.
One final thing I almost forgot to mention, a monumental moment in history: Barack Obama is President-Elect. I have to say i've never followed an election this closely. When Kerry ran against Bush, I don't think many of us were that invested in Kerry becoming the new voice for America. It almost feels like at that point we were so desperate for change, we wanted to look to ANYONE but Bush. As the years have passed, as things have worsened for the US, one would think we would be completely disillusioned. And perhaps we were. But then came Obama, a man you really want to trust. An amazing and eloquent speaker who has the kind of smile that makes you forget all about the last 8 years of the "Bush Dynasty." I don't know if everything will change now that he has been elected. I know that as I stood 7+ hours in line, in the sun and rain with my friends waiting to cast our ballot, all I could hope for was the one thing he continues to promise - change. Maybe things WILL change with Barack Obama as president. So far he seems to be doing all right. We'll have to wait and see come January 20th, though, how far the changes will go. For now all we can do is hope. Regardless, his nomination, his win for the Democratic Primary, and his landslide victory in the November 4th election are moments no one will ever forget. The funny moment after hours of hearing incoming results when I ran out of the bathroom as everyone began cheering: We have a new president! Obama has won! I couldn't believe my eyes or ears, and yet it was true. The moment we'd all been waiting for. The real payoff after the rallies and protests and donations and speeches and blogging and heated debates. It was finally true. We had an african american president. More importantly, we had finally elected a man we felt we could trust. Someone who just might be a little more honest. Don't get me wrong. My cynicism tells me he's still a politician because at the end of the day, the man has more money than I could possibly dream of. But that doesn't mean he might not actually fight a little harder for the rest of us. And that's really all we can hope for.
Things are.. good. Life is good. More than good, honestly. I have friends, family, my health, a path to an excellent career, a roof over my head, food on my plate, and a wonderful relationship. And I'm not saying things are perfect. I am poor financially. I struggle to make ends meet. I have worked my ass off to get in to a good school. Sometimes I really hate my job. I can't stand the traffic or the weather in Miami. And yeah, it bugs me that all of my friends eat meat and make fun of me for not doing the same. And sure, my parents could stand to be a little less Jesus-obsessed. The middle east situations makes me sad. I miss my grandmother. Things are not always easy. But one thing at a time.
Life is still good. Never perfect, but who needs perfect? Let's keep going. Looking forward to 2009 with open arms.
Goodbye 2008.
Hello, future.
And here... we.... GO!
And where do I see myself in 10 years? Who knows. Maybe traveling the world, or perhaps taking a hiatus from my travels. Writing, always writing for sure. By then maybe the ol' tick-tick-boom will have hit and perhaps i'll be settled down with someone and maybe i'll even give in to the need to be immortalized in another. Again, who knows. Maybe not. Maybe i'll be alone somewhere remote doing research on some unknown tribe. Or teaching english in Japan, getting ready to toast the new year in with someone I just met a few minutes ago. I don't pretend to know what will happen, except that i'll have to wait and see.
For now, things are good. 2008 brought a lot of ups and downs just like any other year. We lost a lot of great celebrities like Bettie Page and Paul Newman and Eartha Kitt and George Carlin and the Joker himself- Heath Ledger. More importantly for me, I lost one of my best friends, my dog Sparky. Always having to defend the name choice, Sparky was a really good dog. He was sweet and loyal and was a very playful puppy. I regret not having spent more time with him, not having paid more attention. These regrets will always live with me. Sadly, time passed and he got older and older and more and more sick. At 11 years old, he was having too many health problems and physical complications. He suffered a bit at the end, and then my family decided to put him to rest. I never got to say goodbye. This was especially difficult - something I haven't really shared with anyone mostly because people probably wouldn't understand.
Two anniversaries were remembered as well - May 9th would mark 6 years since my Mama Adilia passed away. September 22nd would mark 1 year of losing my Abuelito Ramon. Both unbearably painful moments in my life. Both moments that would change my life forever in different ways. And it still seems like they never happened.
But 2008 wasn't all terrible. There was much cause for celebration, in fact! One major accomplishment in my life was finally getting a degree. Sure, it wasn't my bachelor's like so many I know have received, but at least for now I have an Associate's degree. This felt like a true achievement and a definite step in the right direction. On top of this, I got my shit together and was able to apply to various highly renowned universities, all of which I was accepted to (minus 1 which I have yet to hear from, but no matter.) I got in to the University of Miami which is where i'll be starting in January 2009. My family is proud as am I.
On Tony's side of the family, Danny finally came back home for good this time. I know the entire Roman family had been through hell and back literally waiting for him to come home in one piece and the gods really did come through and brought him back to his family and friends which I know was a huge relief and joy for everyone. And while I didn't know him too well during his time away, I've gotten to know him a lot better and we've had all kinds of great times and has become like a "younger" (hah by a day anyway) brother for me.
My family has done particularly well this year. My father and brother quit their jobs to start their own business and so far it's been going well. I'm proud of them and their workaholic tendencies. My parents have also become very giving individuals and while I may not agree with their religious beliefs, it melts my heart to think of them giving out toys to sick children in a hospital in Nicaragua out of the goodness of their hearts. I'm very proud of the work they are doing. I love my family and know I am blessed to have them. They help me and support me in every way they can and know how and I know that I really need to spend more time with them in the coming year. I also miss my extended family, on both sides. I've actually gotten to spend more time with my dad's side of the family this year than we have in maybe 5 or so years and it's been very fun. I hope to do more of that this coming year. I only got to visit Nicaragua once and unfortunately my time in Corinto with my Abuelita was limited this time, but I hope to spend more time there soon. Corinto is just a magical place and my grandmother's house is honestly one of my favorite places on earth.
Another very awesome event was Tony and I moving in to this apartment. I almost thought it wouldn't happen and then one day we found this place and snatched it up right away. Money has been tighter than it was living at the Romans, but it's been worth it being able to go to the bathroom as one pleases, to have the ability to cook anything at any time, to watch tv in the living room in your underwear, to play music loudly and dance around while you clean, to have guests over only when you want them over, to have privacy and freedom. And if anything, I think it's really just brought us together. I don't have a single complaint about living alone with Tony, although I guess sometimes I miss the cats.
In nerd news, we finished watching every single episode of the X-Files. And while the final episode and the new movie left MUCH to be desired, the show itself is pure genius. Still, I would end it at season 8.
Things have been pretty good with friends on the whole. There were some problems with a certain friend who i've worried over in the past, but she seems to be doing better and that makes me happy. All I want is for my friends to be happy, after all. I think i've gotten a little better at the whole socializing thing again as I know I had fallen off the face of the planet for a while. I hope to get even better at it this year. I also got to see a few old faces (ie. Abdul, Kristy, Jenn) and I hope to stay in contact with these and the other worthwhile people who have come in to my life over the years. It's hard to find good friends.
2008 had some pretty memorable moments. Plenty of fun friends' birthdays ie. Ale's, Sammi's, Roxy's, etc. Holidays were usually spent rather well (St. Patty's at Carlos', 4th of July at Marcos', Halloween all over the place, Thanksgiving at my and at Tony's family's house, Christmas eve w/ my family, and of course FESTIVUS!) We finally had some gatherings at our place too which was great. Board games seem to be becoming a staple at our events lately too, which I really dig. Also on the list of cool experiences - the Renaissance Festival, Baynanza Beach Clean Up, my first Free Lolita protest, the Corporate Run and the Race for the Americas, Christy's wedding in Jersey, McSorley's, my first Passion party, Joe's end of summer getty, the Miami Book Fair, the Car Show, my cousin's anniversary party, walking around DC, getting lost at 2am in Virginia, learning to belly dance, passover at Maryannes, Earth Day fest, and so many more. It's been a crazy year.
I haven't written nearly as much as I wish I had. Not articles and not for myself either. I plan to change this very soon.
And last but never least, it's been a year of firsts. This is the first job I've ever held down for more than a year. Not too exciting and honestly I don't care anyway. However! The really exciting thing is that Tony and I have passed the 2.5 year mark! My longest relationship was with Nadir and that barely made it under the 2 year point and really, it was all kinds of doomed after maybe the first year. Back then I was nothing but depressed and stoned all the time. Things are so different with Tony, though. I'm so in love, and every day it just grows. We see each other every day and night and I don't get tired of him. He understands me, he completes me, he gets me. I don't have to try to be anything I'm not around him. I don't feel vulnerable because I know he won't hurt me. We talk about everything. We play around and goof off and make jokes and laugh every single day. We tease each other and piss each other off now and again, but we always make up. We're so alike and yet dissimilar enough to not get bored or tired or aggravated in any real way. He makes me smile. He makes my heart flutter. He makes me happy, and that's all I can really ask for. What more could I want? I don't want to jinx things or anything because it's been so long (although I realize not quite as long as his other relationships), but I don't honestly see this ending in any way. I don't know what the future holds for us, but so far it looks like nothing but sunshine. We motivate each other and I hope to continue to do that for him as he has encouraged me so much in these last two years. Even as he snores away on the couch right now, I can't help but feel incredibly lucky.
One final thing I almost forgot to mention, a monumental moment in history: Barack Obama is President-Elect. I have to say i've never followed an election this closely. When Kerry ran against Bush, I don't think many of us were that invested in Kerry becoming the new voice for America. It almost feels like at that point we were so desperate for change, we wanted to look to ANYONE but Bush. As the years have passed, as things have worsened for the US, one would think we would be completely disillusioned. And perhaps we were. But then came Obama, a man you really want to trust. An amazing and eloquent speaker who has the kind of smile that makes you forget all about the last 8 years of the "Bush Dynasty." I don't know if everything will change now that he has been elected. I know that as I stood 7+ hours in line, in the sun and rain with my friends waiting to cast our ballot, all I could hope for was the one thing he continues to promise - change. Maybe things WILL change with Barack Obama as president. So far he seems to be doing all right. We'll have to wait and see come January 20th, though, how far the changes will go. For now all we can do is hope. Regardless, his nomination, his win for the Democratic Primary, and his landslide victory in the November 4th election are moments no one will ever forget. The funny moment after hours of hearing incoming results when I ran out of the bathroom as everyone began cheering: We have a new president! Obama has won! I couldn't believe my eyes or ears, and yet it was true. The moment we'd all been waiting for. The real payoff after the rallies and protests and donations and speeches and blogging and heated debates. It was finally true. We had an african american president. More importantly, we had finally elected a man we felt we could trust. Someone who just might be a little more honest. Don't get me wrong. My cynicism tells me he's still a politician because at the end of the day, the man has more money than I could possibly dream of. But that doesn't mean he might not actually fight a little harder for the rest of us. And that's really all we can hope for.
Things are.. good. Life is good. More than good, honestly. I have friends, family, my health, a path to an excellent career, a roof over my head, food on my plate, and a wonderful relationship. And I'm not saying things are perfect. I am poor financially. I struggle to make ends meet. I have worked my ass off to get in to a good school. Sometimes I really hate my job. I can't stand the traffic or the weather in Miami. And yeah, it bugs me that all of my friends eat meat and make fun of me for not doing the same. And sure, my parents could stand to be a little less Jesus-obsessed. The middle east situations makes me sad. I miss my grandmother. Things are not always easy. But one thing at a time.
Life is still good. Never perfect, but who needs perfect? Let's keep going. Looking forward to 2009 with open arms.
Goodbye 2008.
Hello, future.
And here... we.... GO!