(no subject)
Well shiiiiiit. Hahah that picture is REALLY ugly.
But I don't care!
Christopher comes home on Wednesday!
And I canNOT wait! : )
I loveeee my brother.
There's a lot of shit goingggg on that sucks.
Kind of with him, too.
It's weird, but lately I have been thinking so much about my dad.
Just everything is reminding me of him, or making me think about how different things would be if he was still here.
I mean... I know I would not be the same person I am today if he was here.
But I can't help but think that maybe I would be a better person with him in my life.
Or if him doing what he did, put an end to me becoming someone worse than I am right now.
I had a long talk with Jamie.
And we both discussed this topic for a while.
I dunno...
It's just tough.
Especially for her, I know.
I think it's a little worrisome how comfortable I am with the whole situation now.
I'm not afraid to talk about it, and I am really open too.
I'm worried that that might mean I'm becoming desensitized to the topic as a whole.
There's nothing really that I can do I guess.
I can't make myself feel uncomfortable about it.
Or make myself not want to talk about it when it comes up.
I think I just feel like I have a story to share.
And in sharing that story I will help other people with their lives, or their situation.
I dunno.
There's so much going on that I wish I could write about.
And just tell EVERYONE.
But it's to be kept for me.
Or my really close friends.
But I'm a little stressed at the moment.
At least my "friend issues" have kind of gotten sorted out.
But I'm not sure about everything else.
I know that I'm setting myself up to be hurt.
Which sucks but whatever.
It's one of those things that I know will be fun and exciting for me.
But in the end I'll just feel shitty.
I guess at this point though, I need fun to look forward to.
The main thing I'm getting angry about is the fact that people keep lying to me.
Or not lying.... just.... expanding the truth?
It's been almost three months now since he said he was going to leave.
And he just HASN'T.
I don't get it.
---Insert the Good Life lyrics here---
Honestly, those fit PERFECTLY right now.
He made me feel SO guilty for being the one to make him want to leave.
And yet he's not leaving?
When I'm STILL making him feel bad?
It just doesn't make SENSE.
There's nothing that I can do, though.
Just wait...
I got a new comforter today!
I'm excited to sleep in my bed tonight. : )
I'm SO sick, so hopefully I can go to the doctor's office soon.
Half day tomorrow and Tuesday. It's finals though. : (
Ickkk. : (
I think I might apply for a job at Godiva.
That would be so fun.
I think I'm gonna go read Gossip Girl and fall asleep to a Bob Dylan vinyl.
I can never get enough of those.
'Night.♥
But I don't care!
Christopher comes home on Wednesday!
And I canNOT wait! : )
I loveeee my brother.
There's a lot of shit goingggg on that sucks.
Kind of with him, too.
It's weird, but lately I have been thinking so much about my dad.
Just everything is reminding me of him, or making me think about how different things would be if he was still here.
I mean... I know I would not be the same person I am today if he was here.
But I can't help but think that maybe I would be a better person with him in my life.
Or if him doing what he did, put an end to me becoming someone worse than I am right now.
I had a long talk with Jamie.
And we both discussed this topic for a while.
I dunno...
It's just tough.
Especially for her, I know.
I think it's a little worrisome how comfortable I am with the whole situation now.
I'm not afraid to talk about it, and I am really open too.
I'm worried that that might mean I'm becoming desensitized to the topic as a whole.
There's nothing really that I can do I guess.
I can't make myself feel uncomfortable about it.
Or make myself not want to talk about it when it comes up.
I think I just feel like I have a story to share.
And in sharing that story I will help other people with their lives, or their situation.
I dunno.
There's so much going on that I wish I could write about.
And just tell EVERYONE.
But it's to be kept for me.
Or my really close friends.
But I'm a little stressed at the moment.
At least my "friend issues" have kind of gotten sorted out.
But I'm not sure about everything else.
I know that I'm setting myself up to be hurt.
Which sucks but whatever.
It's one of those things that I know will be fun and exciting for me.
But in the end I'll just feel shitty.
I guess at this point though, I need fun to look forward to.
The main thing I'm getting angry about is the fact that people keep lying to me.
Or not lying.... just.... expanding the truth?
It's been almost three months now since he said he was going to leave.
And he just HASN'T.
I don't get it.
---Insert the Good Life lyrics here---
Honestly, those fit PERFECTLY right now.
He made me feel SO guilty for being the one to make him want to leave.
And yet he's not leaving?
When I'm STILL making him feel bad?
It just doesn't make SENSE.
There's nothing that I can do, though.
Just wait...
I got a new comforter today!
I'm excited to sleep in my bed tonight. : )
I'm SO sick, so hopefully I can go to the doctor's office soon.
Half day tomorrow and Tuesday. It's finals though. : (
Ickkk. : (
I think I might apply for a job at Godiva.
That would be so fun.
I think I'm gonna go read Gossip Girl and fall asleep to a Bob Dylan vinyl.
I can never get enough of those.
'Night.♥