Just Watch the Fireworks (Kurt/Blaine, Wes) [Part 4]
There are exactly three things Wes regrets about being a Warbler: one - that they can’t wear anything but their uniforms when performing, two - that they always miss out on Taco Wednesdays at the dining hall during dinner because of practice and, most importantly, three - that the Warblers always get kicked out every time they step foot inside a Gap store.
The first time it happens, Wes isn’t even a Dalton student. He and David are in seventh grade and going to Hartnell Junior High - a co-ed private school located in Dayton. They still aren’t allowed off campus without an adult supervisor, so on the weekends, one of the teachers living on-campus takes the boarders to the mall.
He and David usually go home on weekends, but this week Wes’ dad is in Miami for business and David’s parents are on their second honeymoon. So they go to the mall under the supervision of Mr. Colton, the newest addition to the teaching staff.
Mr. Colton is still pretty young, so he’s still kind of cool. He lets the ten kids that have come with him wander the mall by themselves on the condition that they all meet him for lunch in two hours and always stay with a friend.
Wes and David immediately pick each other as their partner and set off.
David says that he needs to buy a new shirt for his sister’s birthday party so they go looking for one.
Wes suggests the Gap because at thirteen, he’s not very fashion savvy, but he’s learned a few things from his new stepmom Carrie-Ann and he knows that David hates fancy clothes and that Gap is the closest they’ll get to normal-but-not-slobbish.
They’re not in there for more than ten minutes when they hear shouting coming from the cash registers.
There’s a boy wearing a familiar blue blazer with red piping that Wes instantly recognizes as a Dalton uniform (because he’s known that he would be attending Dalton Academy since he was ten and he’s done his research). The Dalton boy is shouting at the cashier who looks just about terrified right now.
He can’t make out most of what they’re saying, but he definitely hears some words being said that he is positive would make David’s mother wash his mouth out with soap for uttering.
He does hear a very loud, “And stay the hell away from my sister you dick!” before a couple more Dalton students appear from out of nowhere and try to calm the angry one down.
He doesn’t. Calm down, that is. They have to call security and when he refuses to leave even then, they have to drag him out by the collar.
Wes and David stare at each other with wide eyes, wondering if this is what they’ll be like in high school.
It happens a few more times after he enrolls in Dalton, but mostly it’s just Jeff being ridiculous and bringing Nick down with him.
He learns that this is nothing new. That it’s just a curse of being a Warbler…because apparently, every Warbler past and present has been thrown out of a Gap at least once in their Warbling career since 2001 when former Warbler Cary Garbing threw a hissy fit in the middle of the women’s changing area.
By sophomore year, Wes is decidedly grateful that he hasn’t been kicked out of a Gap store in his two years at the school.
That all changes when Blaine comes into his life.
It’s May of sophomore year and they have finally managed to get Nick to ask Jeff out. They’re in that stage of their relationship where they can’t stop holding hands and smiling at each other and rotting everyone’s teeth by proxy.
Wes, David, Jeff, Nick and Blaine are at a mall in Columbus, dressed in their civvies because it’s the weekend and damned if they’re going to spend it in uniform.
They’re browsing through Baby Gap because it is David’s nieces’ birthday next week and they need presents. Jeff is being Jeff and cooing over every tiny sock and miniscule hat and Nick is smiling adorably at him. David periodically asks for Blaine’s and Wes’ opinion on what he should get the twins, but neither Blaine nor Wes knows anything about baby clothes so he gives up on them.
Wes is starting to get bored when he sees a pregnant woman walking past him with someone he assumes is her husband and hears her sneering something along the lines of look at those fags, how can they even think they can raise a child properly?
He knows it’s directed at Nick and Jeff who are holding hands and gushing over the ridiculously small clothing, but he feels Blaine go frigid beside him. Wes wants to call the woman out so badly, but decides that it’s better to let it slide and throw a comforting (as comforting as Wes can get, which is something akin to hugging a cactus at worst and wearing really itchy sweaters at best) arm over Blaine’s shoulder (which is kind of hard, because Blaine may be short, but Wes is shorter).
David must have heard the comment too, because not a minute after, he hurriedly purchases a couple of diaper shirts and ushers them out of the store.
Here’s the thing: Blaine may be the most broken out of all of them, but he’s heard every homophobic slur under the sun, Wes and David volunteer for a crisis hotline every other weekend so they know what goes on out there in the Big Bad World and Nick is a scholarship student from a really run-down part of town so he’s got experience with these things, but Jeff.
Well, actually, Wes doesn’t know much about Jeff because he doesn’t talk much about himself. Still, Jeff is the nicest guy Wes knows. He and Thad have theories that Jeff is, in actuality, made of Skittles and unicorns and Dumbledore’s beard. To him, hurting Jeff is like kicking puppies: you just don’t do it.
So Wes is still kind of seething by the time they get to the parking lot because none of them are really in the mood to hang around the mall anymore. And in all honesty, right now, Wes Kim is the epitome of an Angry Little Man.
That is why it’s not his fault that the guy who parked beside them sees Nick’s arm around Jeff’s waist and Jeff’s around Nick’s shoulders and decides that he’s going be an ass.
Why it’s not his fault that this guy is a stupid, ignorant, hick and he says things like, “Hey fairies! Take your sinful acts somewhere where innocent people can’t see you!”
And also why it is absolutely, most definitely, seriously NOT HIS GODDAMN FAULT that this guy’s face just so happens to be with in colliding distance of Wes’ conveniently flailing fist.
The guy’s nose is bleeding now, and he’s freaking out and mall security is being called and they’re asked to leave the premises, but Wes doesn’t really care, because ouch, his hand freaking hurts.
They leave without making too much of a fuss and he lets Nick (the only one besides Wes, who has his licence) drive.
The car is quiet for a while, tense and uncomfortable. David, in the passenger seat, turns on the stereo to fill the silence.
They’re ten minutes away from the mall when David says there’s a Zero Tolerance Policy on bullying at Dalton you know that, and Wes only shrugs.
“That wasn’t Dalton. That was a guy in the parking lot of The Gap,” he says as calmly as possible, from the backseat where Jeff is inspecting his aching hand. “And that wasn’t bullying. That was my fist getting in an accident. With his face.”
He regrets none of it.
-*-
Wes isn’t sure when they became Blaine’s personal backup band, but that’s what everyone outside of Dalton seems to think of the Warblers. In a way, it’s kind of his fault, but mostly Wes blames Thad and his pathetic man-crush on Blaine.
It probably started when they convinced Blaine to take the Teenage Dream solo and continued when Thad heard him singing Hey Soul Sister in the showers.
The point is, Blaine’s had five solos since the beginning of the school year (granted, only two of them had seen the light of a public audience) and it’s unprecedented.
None of the Warblers are complaining though, because it’s their first time competing in a show choir competition in ten years and Blaine is doing a really good job in leading them. Plus, they’ve been trying to get Blaine to take a solo since he auditioned for the Warblers with an amazing acoustic rendition of Jimmy Eat World’s The Middle.
When he finally takes one, they just keep giving him more. It’s not that Blaine isn’t a good singer - he’s an amazing one - but there are other fantastic singers in the Warblers too (they are not one of the best high school a capella groups in the country for no reason).
This is what Wes is thinking when Blaine comes back from his bout of the flu and decides that he is in love and wants to serenade some guy on Valentine’s Day. Wes is pretty certain that everyone is going to agree to do this entirely ridiculous thing and is absolutely sure that he will approve of it since from where he’s sitting it looks like the guy Blaine seems to love is Kurt.
When Blaine suggests doing the serenading in a public setting, however, Wes feels genuine fear. It’s not because the Warblers just don’t do it and Wes is a stickler for tradition, but because it’s a scary idea.
Wes has no problem with Blaine, or anyone else for that matter, being gay and wanting to publicly announce it: everyone should have the right to do that. What Wes does have a problem with, is that fact that other people have a problem with it.
He knows that if they were to do this, it could lead to some really bad ramifications and so Wes has to protest.
Everyone seems to be on board with him, until Blaine decides he’s going to be rational and rationally argue his stance and Kurt decides that he’s going to help Blaine out (probably because he too has figured out that Blaine is talking about singing to him). Then everyone seems to agree that this may be a good exercise for them before Regionals.
So Wes goes with the flow and decides that if anything does go wrong, he’ll work to smooth it over for the sake of love and Blaine and Kurt.
But then Blaine says junior manager at the Gap and Wes has to do everything he can do to stop this. Everything.
Except he can’t seem to articulate his feelings about how absolutely stupid as shit this idea is and so he resolves to let Kurt and Blaine climb out of the holes they have dug by themselves.
By the end of the meeting, Wes even finds humour in the fact that Blaine is calling it The Warblers Gap Attack. Like it’s the first time a Warbler has staged an attack in the premises of a Gap store.
They end up singing When I Get You Alone, which is the single most embarrassing thing Wes has ever had to do, but it’s worth it when he sees the guy’s face and he’s trying very hard not to lose his composure in the middle of the Gap.
To make up for the mishap, Kurt suggests that they sing at Breadstix in celebration of being single. Wes isn’t single, and frankly, quite happy about it. He does agree to it though, because he’ll be celebrating being not-single a day late due to the fact that his girlfriend will be on a plane, flying home from Vienna, on Valentine’s Day.
They hastily put together a performance of Silly Love Songs the day before and everything goes great. Wes even enjoys himself a little.
He doesn’t even begrudge Blaine for making him sing about sex toys in public.
-*-
Warbler Nick - in the parking lot of the Hilton dressed for Junior Prom. Framed and placed on Warbler Jeff’s bedside table next to the picture of him and his parents on his first day at Dalton. (Also, a copy might be taped to the inside cover of Jeff’s journal along with a picture of the Warblers at camp…but shhh no one except for Jeff and Wes knows about that one.)
-*-
Sketch of Warbler Jeff by Warbler Nick - Dalton Spring picnic 2011
-*-
There are a few things in life that Wes takes for granted. Things like the fact that he’s always been good at academics and that he’s always had the funds to do anything he wants. There are people he’s taken for granted too: Molly, his nanny from childhood, Mr. Harvey, his tenth grade math teacher, and Mr. Crowley, his eighth grade English tutor.
There are just some things that are always there; always have been a part of his life and he stopped taking notice - one of those things being Nick and Jeff’s relationship.
Wes has known them since he was seven when he and his family moved to Ohio from New York.
The very first time he sees them is on the first day of second grade. Wes is still relatively new and kind of shy so he sits by himself on the carpet and just watches everyone as they stream in through the door of Mrs. Gold’s classroom. Nick and Jeff don’t walk into the room, they kind of trip in holding onto each other for support as they fall over laughing at some joke one of them told.
Wes watches the class for the rest of the day until lunch rolls around; he doesn’t have much else to do - it’s second grade, so they’re not learning much he hasn’t learned from his tutor. He thinks Nick and Jeff are the most interesting. They’re always saying funny things (or Jeff is saying funny things and Nick is laughing along) and smiling and answering all of the teacher’s questions.
At lunch, Wes sits by himself surrounded by a sea of other elementary school students. He’s eating his PB and J sandwich Molly made for him because it’s his favourite when Jeff skips over to his table and offers him a cookie.
“Hi, I’m Jeff and this is Nick,” he says, pointing to his friend who gives Wes a friendly smile. “You’re new, so we’re going to be your friends, OK?”
And really, it’s not like Wes has a choice in the matter so he nods and eats lunch with his new friends.
The first time Wes realizes that Nick and Jeff are best friends is in fourth grade when he meets David.
For two years, it’s been him, Nick and Jeff. He doesn’t notice that he’s kind of a third wheel because they’ve always done their best to include him whenever it’s the three of them. But then he meets David and then they’re Wes and David and Nick and Jeff.
Wes doesn’t know when they became a pair of pairs, but he realizes that before he had his own best friend, they were Wes with Nick and Jeff instead of Wes and Nick and Jeff.
He doesn’t feel too bad though, because they’ve been friends since they were born, basically, and he’s only known them for two years.
It’s the first day of eighth grade, and Wes has had a best friend for four years and everything is great. Nick and Jeff don’t show up for the first half of the day. It’s not until Wes and David are eating lunch on the front steps that they walk onto school property - holding hands.
Wes thinks that maybe his and David’s constant teasing about them being a married couple has finally forced them to see the truth and make it official. But then he sees Jeff’s face and the blonde is wearing an absolutely terrified expression.
David tries to make light of the situation, “Hey guys, have you finally decided to make things official?”
There’s an awkward pause, which is something new - they’ve never had one of those.
Then, quietly and uncharacteristically, Jeff whispers, “I’m gay, you guys.”
He looks like he’s expecting them to get up and walk away or call him some names or something and Wes doesn’t understand. He’s always made it very clear that he’s completely alright with things like this. He’s pretty sure David has too.
“Yeah, and?” Wes motions for Jeff to explain more.
Nick lets out a small laugh and releases his friend’s hand, “See, Jeff? I told you they wouldn’t care!”
They stop teasing them about being a couple afterwards because Jeff tells David (and by proxy, Wes) that he may or may not be in love with Nick and as it turns out, Nick isn’t gay.
The summer before tenth grade, Wes has a pool party at his house. He and Nick are sitting on the patio while everyone else is in the pool because Nick broke his arm last week and Wes really wants to finish the book he’s reading.
“Wes?” Nick interrupts the silence. Wes replies with a noncommittal hum, still engrossed in his book.
“Do you think we’re too young to fall in love?”
The question startles Wes. It’s kind of left of center and as he thinks about it, he can’t recall anyone that Nick might actually be in love with. Nick has been dating Laura for about two weeks and while Wes knows that he likes her, he’s pretty sure you can’t fall in love in two weeks.
“No,” he says, lowering his book, “I don’t think so, but if you’re talking about Laura, Nick, I do think it’s a bit soon.”
“Uh, no it’s not Laura…we actually broke up yesterday,” Nick says.
“Oh, hey I’m sorry man.”
Nick shakes his head. “No, it was kind of a mutual thing. She…she wasn’t interested and I guess, neither was I… not really. I don’t know, man. I’m just really confused.”
“Nick, you need to start making sense because I’m not really following.”
Nick sits up in his lawn chair and runs his hands through his hair.
“We were out on a date last night. We went to the movies and it was like deserted and the movie was actually kind of crap so we were talking through it. And then suddenly she starts apologizing and crying and I have no idea what’s going on. She’s saying that she’s sorry for leading me one and that she’s tired of hiding. She was hysterical, Wes. She told me that she was in love with her best friend and that she was sorry that she couldn’t pretend anymore.”
“I’m not quite sure where you’re going with this Nick.”
“I broke up with her right after she told me she was in love with someone else. But it didn’t feel bad. Like I didn’t even care or feel hurt or anything. All I could think about was the fact that I totally knew how she felt.”
That’s when it hits Wes, “Nick, are you telling me that you’re in love with your best friend?”
“No! Yes. Maybe. I don’t know, man! I don’t like boys, Wes. I mean, yeah, objectively I can say that a guy’s good looking, but I don’t ever actually feel things. And I genuinely like girls and I’ve liked all of my girlfriends.
“Then yesterday Laura is telling me about loving her best friend and I’m thinking about what it would be like to date my best friend. And then it’s not sounding like that bad of an idea in my head. Like holding Jeff’s hand or going out to dinner with him or even like kissing him - I do most of that with him already.
“But then when I think about doing that stuff with any other guy, I don’t get that same feeling, you know?”
Wes has to soak all this in. He and David totally called this when Jeff came out to them, but he wasn’t ready for all this. He’s never had someone come out to him before so he deals with it like he would if David confessed to liking some girl.
“So, what you’re telling me is that you think that you might be bisexual?”
“No, I’m saying that I’m really confused because IthinkImightbekindofsortofinlovewithJeff.”
Wes can’t take it anymore. It’s not that he wants to negate the seriousness of the situation, but this is sort of funny so he bursts out laughing.
“So then, you’re not bisexual you’re Jeff-sexual!”
And so began the Warblers’ campaign to get Jeff and Nick together.
In the back of his mind, Wes has always known that Nick and Jeff would always be together (romantically or not). So it’s only a matter of time until one asks the other out and their friends throw an impromptu party and then proceed to carry on with their lives.
No one makes a fuss of their relationship, they always just are. It’s such a given that, when Kurt asks him whether or not Jeff is gay, Wes is kind of surprised that he doesn’t know.
It happens during dinner on Tuesday. They’re having fettuccini Alfredo with fresh rolls and sparkling-apple cider and it’s only Wes and Kurt at the table because the rest of their friends are holed up in the library trying to cram for Professor Cameron’s physics test tomorrow.
“Wes,” Kurt says tentatively, “Is Jeff gay?”
Wes tilts his head to the side because, really, is Kurt actually asking him this? He chews and swallows his food before answering, “Well, yeah. Did you not know?”
Kurt splutters for a moment before he whines, “No! How come no one ever tells me these things?”
Wes has to laugh at Kurt’s dramatics - he’s used to Blaine’s faces on stage (but that’s only ever on stage), however, the expressions Kurt makes in daily conversation are too much for Wes to handle.
“It’s not like we do it on purpose Kurt,” he says. “Most of us have known that Jeff is gay since the eighth grade. It’s hard to remember that someone might not know about it.”
Kurt pouts. “I guess I can forgive you for your slight oversight. Are you aware that Jeff and Nick are dating?”
“Yes,” Wes answers. “This is another one of those things everyone forgets to tell the new guy - Jeff and Nick (you’ll hear people - namely Thad, but Blaine does it occasionally too - call them Neff sometimes because they’re like attached at the hips or something) have been dating since sophomore year. They’ve been best friends since birth, though - no, really, they were born like three days apart from each other…Nick is three days older and he likes to use it to his advantage.”
“But I could have sworn I saw him looking down Santana’s shirt at Breadsticks on Valentine’s Day!”
“Uh, yeah…we haven’t figured out Nick’s sexuality yet. He’s always liked girls, but he loves Jeff. And if the Awkward-Embarrassing-Sexual-Encounter of 2010 is anything to go by, he’s most definitely attracted to Jeff. So for now, we just call him Jeff-sexual.”
Kurt nods and they finish dinner in companionable silence.
-*-
There are some things that people always just assume about Wes: he has an unhealthy relationship with his gavel, he’s smart (which, OK, he is, but that’s only because he tries so hard), he’s the go to guy when you’re having a sexuality crisis.
It’s the last one that kind of puzzles him. He understands Nick coming to talk to him (his only other option being David, and no one ever asks David for advice), but then it starts happening more and more often. Trent has a minor freak out when he kisses a boy that one time they got black-out drunk, Jas’s sister Rita thinks that she might be into girls, the kid at the park thinks his dad might be dating men.
It’s like Wes has a neon sign hanging over his head flashing: CRISIS OF SEXUALITY? I CAN HELP! ASK ME HOW, but he’s the only one that can’t see it.
So, really it shouldn’t be a surprise to him when Blaine comes to him telling him that he kissed New Directions’ captain Rachel Berry and now, maybe I’m not totally gay Wes, maybe I’m one of those people…maybe I’m like Nick…oh god, Wes what if I’m Rachel-sexualOHMYGODWESWHATDOIDO?!
But Blaine is the most confident out-gay kid Wes knows - more so than Kurt, more so than Jeff…just, more than anyone. It was the one thing that Blaine never doubted about himself, always embraced and never hid. To see him question it now, well, it’s a shock.
Wes can’t pass it off as a four-beer-queer kind of thing (Blaine is a sober queer and Wes doesn’t know the technical term for this situation).
He scratches his head and says, “Uh, what?”
Blaine takes a deep breath. His eyes are rimmed red, like he’s been crying - Wes doesn’t even want to think about Blaine driving back to Dalton from the Lima Bean while crying and how he could have gotten himself killed. As he exhales, Blaine’s breath comes out in stutters and Wes thinks that he’s about to start sobbing again, but Blaine gains control of himself and starts telling Wes about The Rachel Berry House-Party Train-wreck Extravaganza.
He tells him about playing spin-the-bottle (and seriously, spin-the-bottle?) and kissing Rachel Berry, about the attraction he felt with her, about the their date, about her kissing him in the Lima Bean, but most importantly, Blaine confesses about how damn scared he is.
Wes remembers being told that Blaine came out during the summer before freshman year. It was a total nightmare for him because none of his friends wanted to be near him anymore and his dad looked at him like he wasn’t his son anymore and his mom was always too distant to really show any emotion. Blaine went through that whole ordeal at the age of fourteen, alone.
And now he’s afraid that if he identifies as anything other than one hundred percent gay, it’s like he’s betraying someone: himself, his friends, his parents, Kurt.
It’s the Kurt aspect of the whole situation that gets to Wes the most. Because he’s sure that Kurt isn’t that kind of a person. He knows that Kurt, of all people, should be the one that’s able to relate. But then again, maybe Kurt never had to question his sexuality or, for that matter, question who he was. Maybe he didn’t know the fear of not knowing what he was. But Wes refuses to believe that Kurt couldn’t at least be sympathetic.
“Blaine,” he says, “What exactly went down the day after the party?”
Blaine runs a hand through his hair and Wes notices for the first time that it’s un-gelled and out of place.
“I don’t know Wes. It’s like, one moment, we’re joking about the party and how ridiculous I was, and then Rachel was calling and I remembered feeling good when I kissed her. And when I told Kurt he got defensive and telling me it was because I was drunk (and yeah, maybe it was, but I still needed to know for sure). It hurt, because he was supposed to understand - be supportive…you know?
“He started spouting stuff about bisexuality being an excuse for gay guys to pretend they can be straight or something like that - and I knew, I knew he didn’t believe that... but I was just hurt. And I got defensive and I may have compared him to some of the bullies at his school (I still feel terrible) and I got up and left.”
“Do you know why he would say something like that? The Kurt I know is pretty careful about this stuff.”
“Valentine’s Day - he told me he liked me. And I guess it may have hurt his feelings that I was going after one of his friends. But Wes, I told him - I don’t know, I guess I’m still pretty bad at this emotional stuff. This wasn’t about me liking him, or him liking me though. This was me, scared out of my mind because I didn’t know who I was anymore and -” Blaine cuts off, his breathing heavy, eyes shut tight, just concentrating on not breaking down.
“When Rachel came into the coffee shop today,” he starts again, “When she kissed me, that feeling, it was still there - like how I feel when I kiss a boy - but all I could think was: is this really worth losing Kurt over? Like, if I admitted to liking it when Rachel kissed me, maybe he wouldn’t trust me anymore. I - I just ran into the bathroom and when I came back out, she was gone. And Kurt had this - this I told you so look on his face, and I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t do it Wes.”
Wes knows now where this conversation is headed, and like hell he’s going to let Blaine walk around calling himself a coward and berating himself for doing something so entirely entitled, like he was the one doing everything wrong. Wes hates it when Blaine is self deprecating so he’s going to stop it before it can get too far.
“Blaine,” he says, “I want you to stop thinking what you’re thinking. What you did, was fully reasonable, OK?” He grabs a hold of Blaine’s arm to draw his attention and make sure that he’s listening.
“You’re scared, and confused and you’re entitled to everything you’re feeling right now, don’t ever let anyone trivialize that Blaine. I need you tell me something though, do you like Rachel?”
“No,” he answers with out hesitation. “I don’t like her, I just liked kissing her.”
“OK, alright, that’s fine. Second thing, I need you to know that just because Kurt likes you, at no point in time should you feel obligated to like him too. Feelings don’t work like that Blaine. However, I also need you to know that you can still like Kurt and be attracted to girls - it doesn’t have to be conditional. You know that.”
Blaine nods.
“I think that,” Wes pauses to collect his thought, “I think that Kurt will be alright with it if you sit down and have a quiet conversation with him. He’s your friend, Blaine - and not that this justifies anything - but he may have been confused and scared too. You guys are good together and it would suck if you weren’t friends anymore.”
“I don’t know if I can tell him, Wes.”
“Would it help if I talked to him first?”
He sees Blaine hesitate, but then he slowly nods.
“Alright, then I will. Now, come here, you like you could use a hug.”
Wes will talk to Kurt tomorrow morning during breakfast and calmly explain to him that he needs to apologize to Blaine and that they need to talk. He will make sure that Kurt knows that Wes isn’t mad at him and he will make Blaine talk to Kurt.
But right now, Wes is going to hug his friend and then he’s going to go to David’s dorm and punch something - most probably a wall. He hates it when his friends hurt like this and he can’t blame anyone for it.
-*-
Wes still doesn’t know how he still let’s things like this happen after the Gap Attack. He suspects it may be because he has a soft spot for Blaine, and Thad has a man-crush on him and they’re both very easily persuaded by the junior Warbler.
It’s not as bad as singing Robin Thicke songs at a department store, but really, since when has show choir needed to be sexy?
Blaine is crazy.
And Wes is insane for letting himself get talked into going with Blaine’s crazy schemes.
(Plus, inviting Crawford to the performance means that Wes gets to see Jas so there’s something in it for him too.)
-*-
The weeks before Regionals are hectic to say the least. The competition is set to happen four days before midterms start and some of the Warblers are tearing out their hairs from the stress. Not only that, but in the past two and a half weeks, Wes has had to deal with Blaine’s sexual crisis, David’s breakup with Melissa, Thad’s nervous breakdown when he realized he had four exams on the same day, Jeff and Nick’s pseudo-it’snotreallyabreakup-breakup, not to mention Jas being particularly intolerable and her parent’s being particularly unsupportive of them.
It’s just been a crap few weeks and everyone is on edge. The teachers have to diffuse a couple of fights - mostly verbal sparring, but some actual fistfights - and even they’ve had enough.
Five days before Regionals, all the Warblers are wound up and they’re having some ridiculous argument over which uniform they should wear and some thing about red and blue piping (which is absurd because they only have one jacket and seriously Blaine, get your head straight). Then Kurt comes in to tell them Pavarotti has died and they sing Blackbird and for a singular moment in the chaos that is his life, Wes feels like he’s standing still.
Kurt has a beautiful voice, Wes has always known that - he’s seen the New Directions’ competition videos and he’s seen Kurt’s performance with McKinley High’s Cheerios. Wes seriously wishes Kurt had sung this song for his solo audition a couple of weeks ago because then there would have been a unanimous decision as to who would get the second solo.
Kurt picks the most inconvenient times to shine.
Wes chances a glance around the room and for the most part, he thinks the Warblers share his sentiment. When he sees Blaine, however, the boy has a completely smitten expression on his face - and dear god, finally, he finally sees it. Blaine Anderson has finally seen Kurt Hummel.
He’s glad for it. They both deserve each other and they’re both good for each other. He’s also glad that Blaine took his time to get there because Wes would hate it if Blaine went into a relationship unsure and ended up having his heart broken. Because Wes hates picking up the pieces.
The meeting is called to an early end and they disperse.
When, a day later, Blaine calls for another meeting, Wes has an inkling as to what for. He promises that this is the last time he’s going to let Blaine talk him into doing stupid things…for the sake of love.
Walking into the Warblers’ Hall, Wes sees that everyone but Blaine and Kurt is present so he quickly takes a moment to tell them that they are to go along with whatever it is that Blaine wants to do if and only if this has anything to do with him professing his love for Kurt - if it’s for anything stupid and any of you agree to it, I will have your heads on a stick - and also, make it look like you’re putting up a fight.
It turns out that Blaine wants to do a duet with Kurt. As far as stupid Blaine Anderson ideas go, this one isn’t half bad.
They end up losing Regionals. Wes suspects it has more to do with the fact that it was a duet between two boys and less to do with the fact that they weren’t exactly top notch - which he isn’t ashamed to admit because they weren’t - but hey, pick your battles right?
He doesn’t think any of them care much though because they’ve all got smiles on their faces and Jeff and Nick are making out in a dark corner somewhere and Blaine and Kurt are holding hands and Thad and Trent have started a sing-along. Wes doesn’t even care that it’s some bastardized version of some Nelly Furtado song that they’re singing.
The best part about this is that it’s Friday so they don’t even have to go back to school. Jasmine has somehow found her way backstage and she’s hugging everyone and then she’s flinging herself onto Wes and Wes is just happy.
They're all on high right now: Wes has his best friends and his girlfriend at his side, and for the first time in a long time, he feels like there's nothing in the world that can stop them.
[Next part]
The first time it happens, Wes isn’t even a Dalton student. He and David are in seventh grade and going to Hartnell Junior High - a co-ed private school located in Dayton. They still aren’t allowed off campus without an adult supervisor, so on the weekends, one of the teachers living on-campus takes the boarders to the mall.
He and David usually go home on weekends, but this week Wes’ dad is in Miami for business and David’s parents are on their second honeymoon. So they go to the mall under the supervision of Mr. Colton, the newest addition to the teaching staff.
Mr. Colton is still pretty young, so he’s still kind of cool. He lets the ten kids that have come with him wander the mall by themselves on the condition that they all meet him for lunch in two hours and always stay with a friend.
Wes and David immediately pick each other as their partner and set off.
David says that he needs to buy a new shirt for his sister’s birthday party so they go looking for one.
Wes suggests the Gap because at thirteen, he’s not very fashion savvy, but he’s learned a few things from his new stepmom Carrie-Ann and he knows that David hates fancy clothes and that Gap is the closest they’ll get to normal-but-not-slobbish.
They’re not in there for more than ten minutes when they hear shouting coming from the cash registers.
There’s a boy wearing a familiar blue blazer with red piping that Wes instantly recognizes as a Dalton uniform (because he’s known that he would be attending Dalton Academy since he was ten and he’s done his research). The Dalton boy is shouting at the cashier who looks just about terrified right now.
He can’t make out most of what they’re saying, but he definitely hears some words being said that he is positive would make David’s mother wash his mouth out with soap for uttering.
He does hear a very loud, “And stay the hell away from my sister you dick!” before a couple more Dalton students appear from out of nowhere and try to calm the angry one down.
He doesn’t. Calm down, that is. They have to call security and when he refuses to leave even then, they have to drag him out by the collar.
Wes and David stare at each other with wide eyes, wondering if this is what they’ll be like in high school.
It happens a few more times after he enrolls in Dalton, but mostly it’s just Jeff being ridiculous and bringing Nick down with him.
He learns that this is nothing new. That it’s just a curse of being a Warbler…because apparently, every Warbler past and present has been thrown out of a Gap at least once in their Warbling career since 2001 when former Warbler Cary Garbing threw a hissy fit in the middle of the women’s changing area.
By sophomore year, Wes is decidedly grateful that he hasn’t been kicked out of a Gap store in his two years at the school.
That all changes when Blaine comes into his life.
It’s May of sophomore year and they have finally managed to get Nick to ask Jeff out. They’re in that stage of their relationship where they can’t stop holding hands and smiling at each other and rotting everyone’s teeth by proxy.
Wes, David, Jeff, Nick and Blaine are at a mall in Columbus, dressed in their civvies because it’s the weekend and damned if they’re going to spend it in uniform.
They’re browsing through Baby Gap because it is David’s nieces’ birthday next week and they need presents. Jeff is being Jeff and cooing over every tiny sock and miniscule hat and Nick is smiling adorably at him. David periodically asks for Blaine’s and Wes’ opinion on what he should get the twins, but neither Blaine nor Wes knows anything about baby clothes so he gives up on them.
Wes is starting to get bored when he sees a pregnant woman walking past him with someone he assumes is her husband and hears her sneering something along the lines of look at those fags, how can they even think they can raise a child properly?
He knows it’s directed at Nick and Jeff who are holding hands and gushing over the ridiculously small clothing, but he feels Blaine go frigid beside him. Wes wants to call the woman out so badly, but decides that it’s better to let it slide and throw a comforting (as comforting as Wes can get, which is something akin to hugging a cactus at worst and wearing really itchy sweaters at best) arm over Blaine’s shoulder (which is kind of hard, because Blaine may be short, but Wes is shorter).
David must have heard the comment too, because not a minute after, he hurriedly purchases a couple of diaper shirts and ushers them out of the store.
Here’s the thing: Blaine may be the most broken out of all of them, but he’s heard every homophobic slur under the sun, Wes and David volunteer for a crisis hotline every other weekend so they know what goes on out there in the Big Bad World and Nick is a scholarship student from a really run-down part of town so he’s got experience with these things, but Jeff.
Well, actually, Wes doesn’t know much about Jeff because he doesn’t talk much about himself. Still, Jeff is the nicest guy Wes knows. He and Thad have theories that Jeff is, in actuality, made of Skittles and unicorns and Dumbledore’s beard. To him, hurting Jeff is like kicking puppies: you just don’t do it.
So Wes is still kind of seething by the time they get to the parking lot because none of them are really in the mood to hang around the mall anymore. And in all honesty, right now, Wes Kim is the epitome of an Angry Little Man.
That is why it’s not his fault that the guy who parked beside them sees Nick’s arm around Jeff’s waist and Jeff’s around Nick’s shoulders and decides that he’s going be an ass.
Why it’s not his fault that this guy is a stupid, ignorant, hick and he says things like, “Hey fairies! Take your sinful acts somewhere where innocent people can’t see you!”
And also why it is absolutely, most definitely, seriously NOT HIS GODDAMN FAULT that this guy’s face just so happens to be with in colliding distance of Wes’ conveniently flailing fist.
The guy’s nose is bleeding now, and he’s freaking out and mall security is being called and they’re asked to leave the premises, but Wes doesn’t really care, because ouch, his hand freaking hurts.
They leave without making too much of a fuss and he lets Nick (the only one besides Wes, who has his licence) drive.
The car is quiet for a while, tense and uncomfortable. David, in the passenger seat, turns on the stereo to fill the silence.
They’re ten minutes away from the mall when David says there’s a Zero Tolerance Policy on bullying at Dalton you know that, and Wes only shrugs.
“That wasn’t Dalton. That was a guy in the parking lot of The Gap,” he says as calmly as possible, from the backseat where Jeff is inspecting his aching hand. “And that wasn’t bullying. That was my fist getting in an accident. With his face.”
He regrets none of it.
-*-
Wes isn’t sure when they became Blaine’s personal backup band, but that’s what everyone outside of Dalton seems to think of the Warblers. In a way, it’s kind of his fault, but mostly Wes blames Thad and his pathetic man-crush on Blaine.
It probably started when they convinced Blaine to take the Teenage Dream solo and continued when Thad heard him singing Hey Soul Sister in the showers.
The point is, Blaine’s had five solos since the beginning of the school year (granted, only two of them had seen the light of a public audience) and it’s unprecedented.
None of the Warblers are complaining though, because it’s their first time competing in a show choir competition in ten years and Blaine is doing a really good job in leading them. Plus, they’ve been trying to get Blaine to take a solo since he auditioned for the Warblers with an amazing acoustic rendition of Jimmy Eat World’s The Middle.
When he finally takes one, they just keep giving him more. It’s not that Blaine isn’t a good singer - he’s an amazing one - but there are other fantastic singers in the Warblers too (they are not one of the best high school a capella groups in the country for no reason).
This is what Wes is thinking when Blaine comes back from his bout of the flu and decides that he is in love and wants to serenade some guy on Valentine’s Day. Wes is pretty certain that everyone is going to agree to do this entirely ridiculous thing and is absolutely sure that he will approve of it since from where he’s sitting it looks like the guy Blaine seems to love is Kurt.
When Blaine suggests doing the serenading in a public setting, however, Wes feels genuine fear. It’s not because the Warblers just don’t do it and Wes is a stickler for tradition, but because it’s a scary idea.
Wes has no problem with Blaine, or anyone else for that matter, being gay and wanting to publicly announce it: everyone should have the right to do that. What Wes does have a problem with, is that fact that other people have a problem with it.
He knows that if they were to do this, it could lead to some really bad ramifications and so Wes has to protest.
Everyone seems to be on board with him, until Blaine decides he’s going to be rational and rationally argue his stance and Kurt decides that he’s going to help Blaine out (probably because he too has figured out that Blaine is talking about singing to him). Then everyone seems to agree that this may be a good exercise for them before Regionals.
So Wes goes with the flow and decides that if anything does go wrong, he’ll work to smooth it over for the sake of love and Blaine and Kurt.
But then Blaine says junior manager at the Gap and Wes has to do everything he can do to stop this. Everything.
Except he can’t seem to articulate his feelings about how absolutely stupid as shit this idea is and so he resolves to let Kurt and Blaine climb out of the holes they have dug by themselves.
By the end of the meeting, Wes even finds humour in the fact that Blaine is calling it The Warblers Gap Attack. Like it’s the first time a Warbler has staged an attack in the premises of a Gap store.
They end up singing When I Get You Alone, which is the single most embarrassing thing Wes has ever had to do, but it’s worth it when he sees the guy’s face and he’s trying very hard not to lose his composure in the middle of the Gap.
To make up for the mishap, Kurt suggests that they sing at Breadstix in celebration of being single. Wes isn’t single, and frankly, quite happy about it. He does agree to it though, because he’ll be celebrating being not-single a day late due to the fact that his girlfriend will be on a plane, flying home from Vienna, on Valentine’s Day.
They hastily put together a performance of Silly Love Songs the day before and everything goes great. Wes even enjoys himself a little.
He doesn’t even begrudge Blaine for making him sing about sex toys in public.
-*-
Warbler Nick - in the parking lot of the Hilton dressed for Junior Prom. Framed and placed on Warbler Jeff’s bedside table next to the picture of him and his parents on his first day at Dalton. (Also, a copy might be taped to the inside cover of Jeff’s journal along with a picture of the Warblers at camp…but shhh no one except for Jeff and Wes knows about that one.)
-*-
Sketch of Warbler Jeff by Warbler Nick - Dalton Spring picnic 2011
-*-
There are a few things in life that Wes takes for granted. Things like the fact that he’s always been good at academics and that he’s always had the funds to do anything he wants. There are people he’s taken for granted too: Molly, his nanny from childhood, Mr. Harvey, his tenth grade math teacher, and Mr. Crowley, his eighth grade English tutor.
There are just some things that are always there; always have been a part of his life and he stopped taking notice - one of those things being Nick and Jeff’s relationship.
Wes has known them since he was seven when he and his family moved to Ohio from New York.
The very first time he sees them is on the first day of second grade. Wes is still relatively new and kind of shy so he sits by himself on the carpet and just watches everyone as they stream in through the door of Mrs. Gold’s classroom. Nick and Jeff don’t walk into the room, they kind of trip in holding onto each other for support as they fall over laughing at some joke one of them told.
Wes watches the class for the rest of the day until lunch rolls around; he doesn’t have much else to do - it’s second grade, so they’re not learning much he hasn’t learned from his tutor. He thinks Nick and Jeff are the most interesting. They’re always saying funny things (or Jeff is saying funny things and Nick is laughing along) and smiling and answering all of the teacher’s questions.
At lunch, Wes sits by himself surrounded by a sea of other elementary school students. He’s eating his PB and J sandwich Molly made for him because it’s his favourite when Jeff skips over to his table and offers him a cookie.
“Hi, I’m Jeff and this is Nick,” he says, pointing to his friend who gives Wes a friendly smile. “You’re new, so we’re going to be your friends, OK?”
And really, it’s not like Wes has a choice in the matter so he nods and eats lunch with his new friends.
The first time Wes realizes that Nick and Jeff are best friends is in fourth grade when he meets David.
For two years, it’s been him, Nick and Jeff. He doesn’t notice that he’s kind of a third wheel because they’ve always done their best to include him whenever it’s the three of them. But then he meets David and then they’re Wes and David and Nick and Jeff.
Wes doesn’t know when they became a pair of pairs, but he realizes that before he had his own best friend, they were Wes with Nick and Jeff instead of Wes and Nick and Jeff.
He doesn’t feel too bad though, because they’ve been friends since they were born, basically, and he’s only known them for two years.
It’s the first day of eighth grade, and Wes has had a best friend for four years and everything is great. Nick and Jeff don’t show up for the first half of the day. It’s not until Wes and David are eating lunch on the front steps that they walk onto school property - holding hands.
Wes thinks that maybe his and David’s constant teasing about them being a married couple has finally forced them to see the truth and make it official. But then he sees Jeff’s face and the blonde is wearing an absolutely terrified expression.
David tries to make light of the situation, “Hey guys, have you finally decided to make things official?”
There’s an awkward pause, which is something new - they’ve never had one of those.
Then, quietly and uncharacteristically, Jeff whispers, “I’m gay, you guys.”
He looks like he’s expecting them to get up and walk away or call him some names or something and Wes doesn’t understand. He’s always made it very clear that he’s completely alright with things like this. He’s pretty sure David has too.
“Yeah, and?” Wes motions for Jeff to explain more.
Nick lets out a small laugh and releases his friend’s hand, “See, Jeff? I told you they wouldn’t care!”
They stop teasing them about being a couple afterwards because Jeff tells David (and by proxy, Wes) that he may or may not be in love with Nick and as it turns out, Nick isn’t gay.
The summer before tenth grade, Wes has a pool party at his house. He and Nick are sitting on the patio while everyone else is in the pool because Nick broke his arm last week and Wes really wants to finish the book he’s reading.
“Wes?” Nick interrupts the silence. Wes replies with a noncommittal hum, still engrossed in his book.
“Do you think we’re too young to fall in love?”
The question startles Wes. It’s kind of left of center and as he thinks about it, he can’t recall anyone that Nick might actually be in love with. Nick has been dating Laura for about two weeks and while Wes knows that he likes her, he’s pretty sure you can’t fall in love in two weeks.
“No,” he says, lowering his book, “I don’t think so, but if you’re talking about Laura, Nick, I do think it’s a bit soon.”
“Uh, no it’s not Laura…we actually broke up yesterday,” Nick says.
“Oh, hey I’m sorry man.”
Nick shakes his head. “No, it was kind of a mutual thing. She…she wasn’t interested and I guess, neither was I… not really. I don’t know, man. I’m just really confused.”
“Nick, you need to start making sense because I’m not really following.”
Nick sits up in his lawn chair and runs his hands through his hair.
“We were out on a date last night. We went to the movies and it was like deserted and the movie was actually kind of crap so we were talking through it. And then suddenly she starts apologizing and crying and I have no idea what’s going on. She’s saying that she’s sorry for leading me one and that she’s tired of hiding. She was hysterical, Wes. She told me that she was in love with her best friend and that she was sorry that she couldn’t pretend anymore.”
“I’m not quite sure where you’re going with this Nick.”
“I broke up with her right after she told me she was in love with someone else. But it didn’t feel bad. Like I didn’t even care or feel hurt or anything. All I could think about was the fact that I totally knew how she felt.”
That’s when it hits Wes, “Nick, are you telling me that you’re in love with your best friend?”
“No! Yes. Maybe. I don’t know, man! I don’t like boys, Wes. I mean, yeah, objectively I can say that a guy’s good looking, but I don’t ever actually feel things. And I genuinely like girls and I’ve liked all of my girlfriends.
“Then yesterday Laura is telling me about loving her best friend and I’m thinking about what it would be like to date my best friend. And then it’s not sounding like that bad of an idea in my head. Like holding Jeff’s hand or going out to dinner with him or even like kissing him - I do most of that with him already.
“But then when I think about doing that stuff with any other guy, I don’t get that same feeling, you know?”
Wes has to soak all this in. He and David totally called this when Jeff came out to them, but he wasn’t ready for all this. He’s never had someone come out to him before so he deals with it like he would if David confessed to liking some girl.
“So, what you’re telling me is that you think that you might be bisexual?”
“No, I’m saying that I’m really confused because IthinkImightbekindofsortofinlovewithJeff.”
Wes can’t take it anymore. It’s not that he wants to negate the seriousness of the situation, but this is sort of funny so he bursts out laughing.
“So then, you’re not bisexual you’re Jeff-sexual!”
And so began the Warblers’ campaign to get Jeff and Nick together.
In the back of his mind, Wes has always known that Nick and Jeff would always be together (romantically or not). So it’s only a matter of time until one asks the other out and their friends throw an impromptu party and then proceed to carry on with their lives.
No one makes a fuss of their relationship, they always just are. It’s such a given that, when Kurt asks him whether or not Jeff is gay, Wes is kind of surprised that he doesn’t know.
It happens during dinner on Tuesday. They’re having fettuccini Alfredo with fresh rolls and sparkling-apple cider and it’s only Wes and Kurt at the table because the rest of their friends are holed up in the library trying to cram for Professor Cameron’s physics test tomorrow.
“Wes,” Kurt says tentatively, “Is Jeff gay?”
Wes tilts his head to the side because, really, is Kurt actually asking him this? He chews and swallows his food before answering, “Well, yeah. Did you not know?”
Kurt splutters for a moment before he whines, “No! How come no one ever tells me these things?”
Wes has to laugh at Kurt’s dramatics - he’s used to Blaine’s faces on stage (but that’s only ever on stage), however, the expressions Kurt makes in daily conversation are too much for Wes to handle.
“It’s not like we do it on purpose Kurt,” he says. “Most of us have known that Jeff is gay since the eighth grade. It’s hard to remember that someone might not know about it.”
Kurt pouts. “I guess I can forgive you for your slight oversight. Are you aware that Jeff and Nick are dating?”
“Yes,” Wes answers. “This is another one of those things everyone forgets to tell the new guy - Jeff and Nick (you’ll hear people - namely Thad, but Blaine does it occasionally too - call them Neff sometimes because they’re like attached at the hips or something) have been dating since sophomore year. They’ve been best friends since birth, though - no, really, they were born like three days apart from each other…Nick is three days older and he likes to use it to his advantage.”
“But I could have sworn I saw him looking down Santana’s shirt at Breadsticks on Valentine’s Day!”
“Uh, yeah…we haven’t figured out Nick’s sexuality yet. He’s always liked girls, but he loves Jeff. And if the Awkward-Embarrassing-Sexual-Encounter of 2010 is anything to go by, he’s most definitely attracted to Jeff. So for now, we just call him Jeff-sexual.”
Kurt nods and they finish dinner in companionable silence.
-*-
There are some things that people always just assume about Wes: he has an unhealthy relationship with his gavel, he’s smart (which, OK, he is, but that’s only because he tries so hard), he’s the go to guy when you’re having a sexuality crisis.
It’s the last one that kind of puzzles him. He understands Nick coming to talk to him (his only other option being David, and no one ever asks David for advice), but then it starts happening more and more often. Trent has a minor freak out when he kisses a boy that one time they got black-out drunk, Jas’s sister Rita thinks that she might be into girls, the kid at the park thinks his dad might be dating men.
It’s like Wes has a neon sign hanging over his head flashing: CRISIS OF SEXUALITY? I CAN HELP! ASK ME HOW, but he’s the only one that can’t see it.
So, really it shouldn’t be a surprise to him when Blaine comes to him telling him that he kissed New Directions’ captain Rachel Berry and now, maybe I’m not totally gay Wes, maybe I’m one of those people…maybe I’m like Nick…oh god, Wes what if I’m Rachel-sexualOHMYGODWESWHATDOIDO?!
But Blaine is the most confident out-gay kid Wes knows - more so than Kurt, more so than Jeff…just, more than anyone. It was the one thing that Blaine never doubted about himself, always embraced and never hid. To see him question it now, well, it’s a shock.
Wes can’t pass it off as a four-beer-queer kind of thing (Blaine is a sober queer and Wes doesn’t know the technical term for this situation).
He scratches his head and says, “Uh, what?”
Blaine takes a deep breath. His eyes are rimmed red, like he’s been crying - Wes doesn’t even want to think about Blaine driving back to Dalton from the Lima Bean while crying and how he could have gotten himself killed. As he exhales, Blaine’s breath comes out in stutters and Wes thinks that he’s about to start sobbing again, but Blaine gains control of himself and starts telling Wes about The Rachel Berry House-Party Train-wreck Extravaganza.
He tells him about playing spin-the-bottle (and seriously, spin-the-bottle?) and kissing Rachel Berry, about the attraction he felt with her, about the their date, about her kissing him in the Lima Bean, but most importantly, Blaine confesses about how damn scared he is.
Wes remembers being told that Blaine came out during the summer before freshman year. It was a total nightmare for him because none of his friends wanted to be near him anymore and his dad looked at him like he wasn’t his son anymore and his mom was always too distant to really show any emotion. Blaine went through that whole ordeal at the age of fourteen, alone.
And now he’s afraid that if he identifies as anything other than one hundred percent gay, it’s like he’s betraying someone: himself, his friends, his parents, Kurt.
It’s the Kurt aspect of the whole situation that gets to Wes the most. Because he’s sure that Kurt isn’t that kind of a person. He knows that Kurt, of all people, should be the one that’s able to relate. But then again, maybe Kurt never had to question his sexuality or, for that matter, question who he was. Maybe he didn’t know the fear of not knowing what he was. But Wes refuses to believe that Kurt couldn’t at least be sympathetic.
“Blaine,” he says, “What exactly went down the day after the party?”
Blaine runs a hand through his hair and Wes notices for the first time that it’s un-gelled and out of place.
“I don’t know Wes. It’s like, one moment, we’re joking about the party and how ridiculous I was, and then Rachel was calling and I remembered feeling good when I kissed her. And when I told Kurt he got defensive and telling me it was because I was drunk (and yeah, maybe it was, but I still needed to know for sure). It hurt, because he was supposed to understand - be supportive…you know?
“He started spouting stuff about bisexuality being an excuse for gay guys to pretend they can be straight or something like that - and I knew, I knew he didn’t believe that... but I was just hurt. And I got defensive and I may have compared him to some of the bullies at his school (I still feel terrible) and I got up and left.”
“Do you know why he would say something like that? The Kurt I know is pretty careful about this stuff.”
“Valentine’s Day - he told me he liked me. And I guess it may have hurt his feelings that I was going after one of his friends. But Wes, I told him - I don’t know, I guess I’m still pretty bad at this emotional stuff. This wasn’t about me liking him, or him liking me though. This was me, scared out of my mind because I didn’t know who I was anymore and -” Blaine cuts off, his breathing heavy, eyes shut tight, just concentrating on not breaking down.
“When Rachel came into the coffee shop today,” he starts again, “When she kissed me, that feeling, it was still there - like how I feel when I kiss a boy - but all I could think was: is this really worth losing Kurt over? Like, if I admitted to liking it when Rachel kissed me, maybe he wouldn’t trust me anymore. I - I just ran into the bathroom and when I came back out, she was gone. And Kurt had this - this I told you so look on his face, and I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t do it Wes.”
Wes knows now where this conversation is headed, and like hell he’s going to let Blaine walk around calling himself a coward and berating himself for doing something so entirely entitled, like he was the one doing everything wrong. Wes hates it when Blaine is self deprecating so he’s going to stop it before it can get too far.
“Blaine,” he says, “I want you to stop thinking what you’re thinking. What you did, was fully reasonable, OK?” He grabs a hold of Blaine’s arm to draw his attention and make sure that he’s listening.
“You’re scared, and confused and you’re entitled to everything you’re feeling right now, don’t ever let anyone trivialize that Blaine. I need you tell me something though, do you like Rachel?”
“No,” he answers with out hesitation. “I don’t like her, I just liked kissing her.”
“OK, alright, that’s fine. Second thing, I need you to know that just because Kurt likes you, at no point in time should you feel obligated to like him too. Feelings don’t work like that Blaine. However, I also need you to know that you can still like Kurt and be attracted to girls - it doesn’t have to be conditional. You know that.”
Blaine nods.
“I think that,” Wes pauses to collect his thought, “I think that Kurt will be alright with it if you sit down and have a quiet conversation with him. He’s your friend, Blaine - and not that this justifies anything - but he may have been confused and scared too. You guys are good together and it would suck if you weren’t friends anymore.”
“I don’t know if I can tell him, Wes.”
“Would it help if I talked to him first?”
He sees Blaine hesitate, but then he slowly nods.
“Alright, then I will. Now, come here, you like you could use a hug.”
Wes will talk to Kurt tomorrow morning during breakfast and calmly explain to him that he needs to apologize to Blaine and that they need to talk. He will make sure that Kurt knows that Wes isn’t mad at him and he will make Blaine talk to Kurt.
But right now, Wes is going to hug his friend and then he’s going to go to David’s dorm and punch something - most probably a wall. He hates it when his friends hurt like this and he can’t blame anyone for it.
-*-
Wes still doesn’t know how he still let’s things like this happen after the Gap Attack. He suspects it may be because he has a soft spot for Blaine, and Thad has a man-crush on him and they’re both very easily persuaded by the junior Warbler.
It’s not as bad as singing Robin Thicke songs at a department store, but really, since when has show choir needed to be sexy?
Blaine is crazy.
And Wes is insane for letting himself get talked into going with Blaine’s crazy schemes.
(Plus, inviting Crawford to the performance means that Wes gets to see Jas so there’s something in it for him too.)
-*-
The weeks before Regionals are hectic to say the least. The competition is set to happen four days before midterms start and some of the Warblers are tearing out their hairs from the stress. Not only that, but in the past two and a half weeks, Wes has had to deal with Blaine’s sexual crisis, David’s breakup with Melissa, Thad’s nervous breakdown when he realized he had four exams on the same day, Jeff and Nick’s pseudo-it’snotreallyabreakup-breakup, not to mention Jas being particularly intolerable and her parent’s being particularly unsupportive of them.
It’s just been a crap few weeks and everyone is on edge. The teachers have to diffuse a couple of fights - mostly verbal sparring, but some actual fistfights - and even they’ve had enough.
Five days before Regionals, all the Warblers are wound up and they’re having some ridiculous argument over which uniform they should wear and some thing about red and blue piping (which is absurd because they only have one jacket and seriously Blaine, get your head straight). Then Kurt comes in to tell them Pavarotti has died and they sing Blackbird and for a singular moment in the chaos that is his life, Wes feels like he’s standing still.
Kurt has a beautiful voice, Wes has always known that - he’s seen the New Directions’ competition videos and he’s seen Kurt’s performance with McKinley High’s Cheerios. Wes seriously wishes Kurt had sung this song for his solo audition a couple of weeks ago because then there would have been a unanimous decision as to who would get the second solo.
Kurt picks the most inconvenient times to shine.
Wes chances a glance around the room and for the most part, he thinks the Warblers share his sentiment. When he sees Blaine, however, the boy has a completely smitten expression on his face - and dear god, finally, he finally sees it. Blaine Anderson has finally seen Kurt Hummel.
He’s glad for it. They both deserve each other and they’re both good for each other. He’s also glad that Blaine took his time to get there because Wes would hate it if Blaine went into a relationship unsure and ended up having his heart broken. Because Wes hates picking up the pieces.
The meeting is called to an early end and they disperse.
When, a day later, Blaine calls for another meeting, Wes has an inkling as to what for. He promises that this is the last time he’s going to let Blaine talk him into doing stupid things…for the sake of love.
Walking into the Warblers’ Hall, Wes sees that everyone but Blaine and Kurt is present so he quickly takes a moment to tell them that they are to go along with whatever it is that Blaine wants to do if and only if this has anything to do with him professing his love for Kurt - if it’s for anything stupid and any of you agree to it, I will have your heads on a stick - and also, make it look like you’re putting up a fight.
It turns out that Blaine wants to do a duet with Kurt. As far as stupid Blaine Anderson ideas go, this one isn’t half bad.
They end up losing Regionals. Wes suspects it has more to do with the fact that it was a duet between two boys and less to do with the fact that they weren’t exactly top notch - which he isn’t ashamed to admit because they weren’t - but hey, pick your battles right?
He doesn’t think any of them care much though because they’ve all got smiles on their faces and Jeff and Nick are making out in a dark corner somewhere and Blaine and Kurt are holding hands and Thad and Trent have started a sing-along. Wes doesn’t even care that it’s some bastardized version of some Nelly Furtado song that they’re singing.
The best part about this is that it’s Friday so they don’t even have to go back to school. Jasmine has somehow found her way backstage and she’s hugging everyone and then she’s flinging herself onto Wes and Wes is just happy.
They're all on high right now: Wes has his best friends and his girlfriend at his side, and for the first time in a long time, he feels like there's nothing in the world that can stop them.
[Next part]