(no subject)
Things aren't going so smoothly with Steve. I really want to work it out, but it's difficult for me. I feel like a failure in that aspect.
When I got back in Flint after we fought I was a mess. Raf drug me out that night. We went to a Flint Central Theater reunion for MJ. It was great. I had a good time and it took my mind off Steve and the terrible things I said to him. After that Raf, Ben Segal and I went to the Loft to pick someone up, but ended staying for awhile. The three of us had very loud conversations about sex and relationships, then after an hour we went to a house party. Marchelle was there and some douche named Kevin kept inviting her to a 'hot tub' party. I was drunk at that point, so I was trying to get her to go and take me with her, even though everyone around us was saying we would get date raped by ten guys. I totally could have kicked their asses though. Plus Ben was all egging us on, so it yeah.
I miss Steve and want to have an adventure with him so bad. I want things to work, but I have no idea who I am anymore. And when I tell him that he gets so fucking angry. He says 'Who have I been getting to know the past two years? Have you been lieing to me? It's been a waste of time!". Yeah, all that really helps. I just need to be me for awhile, instead of part of us. Steve has his own strong personality, but I have nothing anymore. I'm just a broken girl thats torn apart by love.
When I got back in Flint after we fought I was a mess. Raf drug me out that night. We went to a Flint Central Theater reunion for MJ. It was great. I had a good time and it took my mind off Steve and the terrible things I said to him. After that Raf, Ben Segal and I went to the Loft to pick someone up, but ended staying for awhile. The three of us had very loud conversations about sex and relationships, then after an hour we went to a house party. Marchelle was there and some douche named Kevin kept inviting her to a 'hot tub' party. I was drunk at that point, so I was trying to get her to go and take me with her, even though everyone around us was saying we would get date raped by ten guys. I totally could have kicked their asses though. Plus Ben was all egging us on, so it yeah.
I miss Steve and want to have an adventure with him so bad. I want things to work, but I have no idea who I am anymore. And when I tell him that he gets so fucking angry. He says 'Who have I been getting to know the past two years? Have you been lieing to me? It's been a waste of time!". Yeah, all that really helps. I just need to be me for awhile, instead of part of us. Steve has his own strong personality, but I have nothing anymore. I'm just a broken girl thats torn apart by love.