how are you so burnt when you're barely on fire?
i havent written in here in a little while.
anyhow, school is continuing to suck the life out of me one week at a time. somehow, im suviving though. and doing unexpectedly well. all of my free time had been spent studying, cleaning the apartment, or working at good old G&R. i finally had enough of being treated like an imcompetent child by my very rude and very white trash manager. 2 weeks ago i nearly walked out on Friday when i went on my break. but no, i just went to the employee lounge and cried a little. of course, w/o making a big scene though cuz i dont like it when people see me being weak. essentially i went through the rest of that craptastic day w/ a stiff upper lip and a very bad attitude. i then called out of work on Saturday b/c the rest of my Friday evening was spent on the phone w/ my mother crying my eyes out about my life. yeah yeah, i know, i have "so much" and im "such a spoiled brat" but no matter how much of spoiled brat one is, it doesnt change the fact that you may still suffer from internal demons that plague you every single day. those demons for me happen to be my extreme anxiety coupled w/ the fact that i began having really bad panic attacks. the very thought of stressful situations made me break down, and i was just so sick of it. so i decided to take some time off work.
once again, i am officially unemployed, but this time its b/c i need to live my life w/o having something planned for every single day of the week, w/o any time to rest and be a normal 20-year old. although im such a overachiever and such that i still spend the majority of my week studying, it still helps to be able to sleep in on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. i need this. desperately.
things are tough, and ill be the first to admit it. but theyre looking much better these days. including my plans tomorrow night and Sunday night. tomorrow im going to Taxlo w/ some rather cool folks. and then Sunday i am, unexpectedly might i add, going to see Death Cab for Cutie at the 930 Club w/ a friend from the days of working at the Gap and one of my buddies from TU as well. im super happy that i have these things going on b/c man, itll be refreshing to be out doing something again!
and soon enough itll be time to go see Rocky Horror at the Spotlight Theatre and then the Coheed&Cambria show at Sonar[which is now totally sold out!], and of course, the one and only Butch Walker up in Philly at the TLA w/ some kick ass Butch-lovin' friends of mine!
mmm...i can breathe again. and its fabulous :).
anyhow, school is continuing to suck the life out of me one week at a time. somehow, im suviving though. and doing unexpectedly well. all of my free time had been spent studying, cleaning the apartment, or working at good old G&R. i finally had enough of being treated like an imcompetent child by my very rude and very white trash manager. 2 weeks ago i nearly walked out on Friday when i went on my break. but no, i just went to the employee lounge and cried a little. of course, w/o making a big scene though cuz i dont like it when people see me being weak. essentially i went through the rest of that craptastic day w/ a stiff upper lip and a very bad attitude. i then called out of work on Saturday b/c the rest of my Friday evening was spent on the phone w/ my mother crying my eyes out about my life. yeah yeah, i know, i have "so much" and im "such a spoiled brat" but no matter how much of spoiled brat one is, it doesnt change the fact that you may still suffer from internal demons that plague you every single day. those demons for me happen to be my extreme anxiety coupled w/ the fact that i began having really bad panic attacks. the very thought of stressful situations made me break down, and i was just so sick of it. so i decided to take some time off work.
once again, i am officially unemployed, but this time its b/c i need to live my life w/o having something planned for every single day of the week, w/o any time to rest and be a normal 20-year old. although im such a overachiever and such that i still spend the majority of my week studying, it still helps to be able to sleep in on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. i need this. desperately.
things are tough, and ill be the first to admit it. but theyre looking much better these days. including my plans tomorrow night and Sunday night. tomorrow im going to Taxlo w/ some rather cool folks. and then Sunday i am, unexpectedly might i add, going to see Death Cab for Cutie at the 930 Club w/ a friend from the days of working at the Gap and one of my buddies from TU as well. im super happy that i have these things going on b/c man, itll be refreshing to be out doing something again!
and soon enough itll be time to go see Rocky Horror at the Spotlight Theatre and then the Coheed&Cambria show at Sonar[which is now totally sold out!], and of course, the one and only Butch Walker up in Philly at the TLA w/ some kick ass Butch-lovin' friends of mine!
mmm...i can breathe again. and its fabulous :).