(no subject)
so alot has been going on lately. mostly thinking about how i'm like 90% sure i'm making the right decision for this summer. just talking to chasse today made me realize that i love calumet more than calumet loves me. like i absolutly love camp people and i feel very blessed to have known them but the truth is me leaving camp won't be a big deal because no one "sees" me. after summer is over most camp people talk to each other and every once in a while plan something together. i rarely talk to camp people and the only time i see them is when i'm around so it just makes sense to see them. like when i went to Uconn to see the swim meet. i called becca and eric because that just makes sense too. but no one ever calls me, and i never call them to just hang out because. i hate it. i hate how i feel so just out of place at camp. i'm making the right choice because i need to be in a place where i'm needed/wanted as much as i love being in that place. i loved being a camp counselor and i'm going to miss it so much but i can't do it anymore.
fingers crossed for proctor...
fingers crossed for proctor...