(no subject)
I haven't been able to write what's really on my mind in this journal for a pretty long time. Whenever I sit down I feel foolish for writing about my deepest secrets. Not sure why, I would gladly tell a stranger on a 7 hour flight home. But writing here? Well, I feel stupid.
I went on a 2nd date with the Russian last night. We met at the movie theater to see 21 Grams. Don't waste your money, or his. Speaking of I apologized and said I would have gladly paid his tab, had I am money. He looked at me puzzled. I am not sure if it was a good puzzled, or a bad one. Whatever, it's a date. The movie was hellla over dramatic and I figured out the "twist" well before the middle of the movie. I have never wanted to leave a movie before it was over before, this was a first time for me.
The Russian walked me to the T station, after offering to get me and my empty stomach some food, I wanted to be home. After confusion which way I was going on the T, (a small blond moment) I walked up to pay my fare, THEN he wants to talk and get deep with me. Oh Brother! I am convinced that he indeed wants to kiss me now, so I don't feel so bad about things. Well, about this I guess. We chatted I began spilling my heart, to an unknown Russian? Sure! My journal, Naw.
It ended with a kiss on the check, close to the mouth, hmmm.
I received an email from the German trapped ex today. He's moving back, and by the end of the month. Sometimes I find myself saying these things only happen to me. I love him, dearly, and he loves me, but could that work again? Passion-shammassion. I need a job.
Then there is the other guy in the corner. I would like to get to know him as well, but how?
All this doesn't matter, what really matters is me paying rent.
I went on a 2nd date with the Russian last night. We met at the movie theater to see 21 Grams. Don't waste your money, or his. Speaking of I apologized and said I would have gladly paid his tab, had I am money. He looked at me puzzled. I am not sure if it was a good puzzled, or a bad one. Whatever, it's a date. The movie was hellla over dramatic and I figured out the "twist" well before the middle of the movie. I have never wanted to leave a movie before it was over before, this was a first time for me.
The Russian walked me to the T station, after offering to get me and my empty stomach some food, I wanted to be home. After confusion which way I was going on the T, (a small blond moment) I walked up to pay my fare, THEN he wants to talk and get deep with me. Oh Brother! I am convinced that he indeed wants to kiss me now, so I don't feel so bad about things. Well, about this I guess. We chatted I began spilling my heart, to an unknown Russian? Sure! My journal, Naw.
It ended with a kiss on the check, close to the mouth, hmmm.
I received an email from the German trapped ex today. He's moving back, and by the end of the month. Sometimes I find myself saying these things only happen to me. I love him, dearly, and he loves me, but could that work again? Passion-shammassion. I need a job.
Then there is the other guy in the corner. I would like to get to know him as well, but how?
All this doesn't matter, what really matters is me paying rent.