Oh, the Pageantry!
I would not call myself a fashionista in any sense of the word, or even a designer. What I know about fashion wouldn't be enough to fill a thimble. Not, that is, that I even own a thimble that could be filled, but the sentiment and the imagry is what matters. I'm a seamstress, pure and simple: a working girl, only not "working girl" in the sense of "I'm a $10 hooker."
True enough, I've been sucked into this season's Project Runway and rapidly hooked, and I often make judgments based on my own sense of taste. At any rate, I did not watch the latest Miss Universe pageant, but I've spent a bit of down time at work this morning perusing the category of "National Costume" (rather than, oh, reading journal articles or working on my thesis introduction), and I've got some thoughts.
Miss Albania's National Costume: Um. I'm not sure who designed it but...they should find another line of work. Or perhaps just smoke a little less crack.
Poor Miss Aruba, I think her dress was colored by a kindergarten class.
I'm surprised Miss Mexico can even move, but I do think it's interesting in design and construction. It's definitely visually compelling, presents a unified theme, and evokes specific imagry of ancient Aztec ceremonial wear.
I really liked Miss Thailand's costume. Simple, elegant, clean lines, and distinctly national.
CHIQUITA BANANA! Oh, I mean, Miss Bahamas.
Miss Columbia... um... no. (EDIT: Every time I look at this, I can't help but get some notion that little Kansas-born Dorothy Gale's blue gingham check ran off with a dashing Spanish flamenco dress for HLS, and somehow got stuck with this sorry abortion. Sorry about that imagry, but it's TRUE.)
Miss Turkey was cool, but there's something not quite right about it. I'm not sure if that is the camera angle, or a design flaw. I understand that much of being a pageant queen involves poise and how you carry yourself, but that should still have a feeling of being natural; that is, it should be so practiced as to be a part of you, and not something you have to concentrate on. It looks to me that she is concentrating really hard on not toppling over, or that she can't move in this outfit. Which would be understandable, however, the costume should enhance her, not make her look uncomfortable on stage.
Miss China's (curiously enough, listed under Miss Switzerland...which is now showing up as Switzerland, but the China link leads to Miss Egypt, so you might not be able to find it) costume looks heavy. But cute, and definitely nationalistic.
Evidently, the national costume of Belgium is zebra and pink. Who knew? Poor Miss Belgium.
Miss Japan's costume really surprised me in it's militaristic samurai style. I was expecting some variation on a traditional kimono. I quite like it, perhaps because it did surprise me.
I did like the classical look of Miss Cyprus. Same with Miss Greece. Also, Miss Israel, although I don't like the silly neck collar thing.
Miss Kazakhstan amuses me. Maybe it's just the Gengis Khan feeling to it... although he was Mongolian, wasn't he?
Miss Chile just confuses me. Too busy. Nice gold lame shower cap. The purple and the maroon together don't blend very well, either.
On the other hand, I feel that the colors on Miss India's costume go together very well, in spite of being pink, purple, and orange. Odd how that works out sometimes.
I was impressed at how sedate and non-showy Miss Argentina's costume was. Definitely evokes the pampas-frontier feel. Likewise, I very much liked the very traditional non-showy feel of Miss Estonia's dress.
Likewise, I felt that Miss Slovak Republic's costume was very traditional and super cute. Eastern Europe has always had cute historical dress.
I think I like Miss Indonesia. True to my notion of the culture, but not overwhelming. She's got good poise with that hat, too. Same with Miss Russia.
But this hat? For Miss Antigua and Barbuda? Just makes me giggle.
Although, I think it's Miss Dominican Republic for the win on the giggleometer. How does she walk with half a be-sequined polka band on her head?
Miss Germany. Um. I think her gown's designer took some LSD and gave himself a swirlie in a UN loo.
I like the design of Miss Iceland's costume, but I get this nagging feeling that it wasn't tailored correctly to her measurements. It just looks as though it doesn't fit. Same for Miss Norway (What, is this a Scandinavian thing?), who looks a bit like a linebacker with those shoulders.
On the other hand, Miss Sweden looks very cute! A very nicely styled traditional costume, well-tailored in spite of not being form-fitting, much like the similar pieces for Argentina, Slovak Republic and Estonia above.
Miss Trinidad and Tobago. Nice idea, if you're looking to be in a lapidarian Mardi Gras parade. As a national costume? Not so much.
Although her skirt is a bit busy - I'm not fond of having recognizable images, as opposed to geometric patterns, in skirts. I feel it overloads the brain, and you spend more time trying to figure out what is there mushed between the folds and what is it supposed to be anywway? than looking at the work and the person overall - I still do like Miss Zambia's outfit. Another one of simplicity and fairly good taste. Although, I am a little confused by the seashell boob armor.
There's something about having two oppositely crossing drapes on Miss Brazil that just makes me start thinking of bandoliers.
The simple and traditional look of Miss Malaysia is pretty nice, I think.
Then there was Miss Slovenia. (You can also see her in the background of Miss Slovak Republic's picture, above). National colors, I understand. But she looks like a marshmallow. Or maybe a layered shot with whipped cream on top, like a Blowjob.
Can someone tell me WHAT is the deal with hot pink this year? Miss South Africa would look awesome if she were NOT accented in hot pink. Why not a nice jade green? She would look positively luminous in jewel tones.
I think the designer for Miss Spain was going for a midpoint between a flamenco dancer and a cool clean classical contessa, or perhaps a girl's 15th birthday where she dresses in white and is eligible to go out in society - I'm forgetting the name Cinq-something. Or is that only a Mexican custom? At any rate, the designer failed. And that's the point.
Miss Angola. In two words? Very cool. A great use of color blended in with a nationalistic feel that doesn't go overboard. The designer on Miss Ghana, on the other hand, needs to get the memo re: silly hats.
Miss Venezuela. Will someone, anyone, PLEASE tell me why designers make a perfectly lovely costume and then flush the whole thing down the toilet by adding some utterly absurd head-gear to it? Must send memo about sillyass hats.
"Look, I'm wearing a cake on my head!" said Miss Ukraine. Her designer ALSO not only missed the memo on silly hats, but evidently also missed the memo on gratuitous religious iconography plastered between the boobs and across the abdomen. Notice where her white name ribbon is, too. Designers, here's a hint: You KNOW they have to wear the ID ribbon. Make a dress that works WITH the ribbon, and doesn't require it being looped on an appendage like a spare accessory. The rest of the costume, on the other hand, is really very well done: nice harmony of colors and well-tailored to her form, especially in the waist and hips.
Ooooh. Oh boy. Man. Um. Miss Guyana. Please, please, please tell me why you did not fire your costume designer. That's just... painful. And she looks so good in her evening gown, too! Too bad the National Costume was so bad.
And also in that category? Miss Latvia. The sheer catsuit, the visible panties... and so much fringe makes me cringe. But her fringe ain't nothing compared to Miss New Zealand's fringe. Fringe QUEEN. While we're at it, Miss Mauritius can get lumped in here with the other sillies.
A number of the National Costumes seemed to indicate that the countries have a long and rich history of being Vegas showgirls. Not that that's a bad thing. As showgirl costumes, they're quite compelling, visually interesting, and I'm impressed at people who can wear them. Also, many of these are Central or South American countries where Carnivale is a major holiday, so maybe that's where I'm getting the showgirl vibe from.
Miss Bolivia. (I do like the color work in this one, and she wears it well. Great stage presence.)
Miss Cayman Islands.
Miss Ireland. (Irish? If you say so...)
Miss Canada. (Um, brrrrr.)
Miss Northern Marianas. ("I'm a piece of white lint!")
Miss Costa Rica.
Miss Poland. (I like hers a lot!)
Miss Nicaragua. (Snicker. Stupid hat's so big it looks like she needs to steady it with her hand. She's got more on top of her head than on the rest of her body!)
Miss Guatemala. (Too busy... I wish I could see the design as a whole, though.)
Miss Panama.
Miss Uruguay.
Miss Paraguay. (She has a sort of Theda Bara Jungle Princess look to her. Which I think I kind of like.)
Miss Peru. (Ditto, but not as well executed as Paraguay. And WHAT is with that hat?)
Miss Sri Lanka. (Memo: Hats. I like the skirty bottom part, but it doesn't feel like the rest of the costume goes with it at all.)
Miss United Kingdom. (Wow, you can't count her ribs! She looks healthy! You mean, you can be a beauty queen AND eat as well? She's just shattered so many people's worlds...)
Miss US Virgin Islands. (Hm. Too busy, and poorly asymetric. That gold thing over her shoulder reminds me of those collars you stick on dogs to keep them from biting their stitches after surgery.)
Actually, there's another costume that's darned giggleworthy, other than Miss Dominican Republic and Miss Antigua and Barbuda. Miss St. Vincent (Again, a regional thing?). BEWARE HER HORNS OF DOOMY DOOM DOOM. It also looks like she got shot out of a canon through the fine fabrics section of a Joann's store.
Miss Turks and Calcos. Poorly tailored? Check. Silly hat? Check. Too busy? Check. Weird writing you have to try to puzzle out as well as get the whole impression of her and her wearing it at the same time? Check. This one breaks ALL the rules. So shameful when a bad costume just overshadows everything else.
That about covers it. There were a few I didn't recap. USA's, for example, and France's CanCan Dancer girl, and a few others that I was really mostly indifferent to.
As is said in MASH, "That is all."
True enough, I've been sucked into this season's Project Runway and rapidly hooked, and I often make judgments based on my own sense of taste. At any rate, I did not watch the latest Miss Universe pageant, but I've spent a bit of down time at work this morning perusing the category of "National Costume" (rather than, oh, reading journal articles or working on my thesis introduction), and I've got some thoughts.
Miss Albania's National Costume: Um. I'm not sure who designed it but...they should find another line of work. Or perhaps just smoke a little less crack.
Poor Miss Aruba, I think her dress was colored by a kindergarten class.
I'm surprised Miss Mexico can even move, but I do think it's interesting in design and construction. It's definitely visually compelling, presents a unified theme, and evokes specific imagry of ancient Aztec ceremonial wear.
I really liked Miss Thailand's costume. Simple, elegant, clean lines, and distinctly national.
CHIQUITA BANANA! Oh, I mean, Miss Bahamas.
Miss Columbia... um... no. (EDIT: Every time I look at this, I can't help but get some notion that little Kansas-born Dorothy Gale's blue gingham check ran off with a dashing Spanish flamenco dress for HLS, and somehow got stuck with this sorry abortion. Sorry about that imagry, but it's TRUE.)
Miss Turkey was cool, but there's something not quite right about it. I'm not sure if that is the camera angle, or a design flaw. I understand that much of being a pageant queen involves poise and how you carry yourself, but that should still have a feeling of being natural; that is, it should be so practiced as to be a part of you, and not something you have to concentrate on. It looks to me that she is concentrating really hard on not toppling over, or that she can't move in this outfit. Which would be understandable, however, the costume should enhance her, not make her look uncomfortable on stage.
Miss China's (curiously enough, listed under Miss Switzerland...which is now showing up as Switzerland, but the China link leads to Miss Egypt, so you might not be able to find it) costume looks heavy. But cute, and definitely nationalistic.
Evidently, the national costume of Belgium is zebra and pink. Who knew? Poor Miss Belgium.
Miss Japan's costume really surprised me in it's militaristic samurai style. I was expecting some variation on a traditional kimono. I quite like it, perhaps because it did surprise me.
I did like the classical look of Miss Cyprus. Same with Miss Greece. Also, Miss Israel, although I don't like the silly neck collar thing.
Miss Kazakhstan amuses me. Maybe it's just the Gengis Khan feeling to it... although he was Mongolian, wasn't he?
Miss Chile just confuses me. Too busy. Nice gold lame shower cap. The purple and the maroon together don't blend very well, either.
On the other hand, I feel that the colors on Miss India's costume go together very well, in spite of being pink, purple, and orange. Odd how that works out sometimes.
I was impressed at how sedate and non-showy Miss Argentina's costume was. Definitely evokes the pampas-frontier feel. Likewise, I very much liked the very traditional non-showy feel of Miss Estonia's dress.
Likewise, I felt that Miss Slovak Republic's costume was very traditional and super cute. Eastern Europe has always had cute historical dress.
I think I like Miss Indonesia. True to my notion of the culture, but not overwhelming. She's got good poise with that hat, too. Same with Miss Russia.
But this hat? For Miss Antigua and Barbuda? Just makes me giggle.
Although, I think it's Miss Dominican Republic for the win on the giggleometer. How does she walk with half a be-sequined polka band on her head?
Miss Germany. Um. I think her gown's designer took some LSD and gave himself a swirlie in a UN loo.
I like the design of Miss Iceland's costume, but I get this nagging feeling that it wasn't tailored correctly to her measurements. It just looks as though it doesn't fit. Same for Miss Norway (What, is this a Scandinavian thing?), who looks a bit like a linebacker with those shoulders.
On the other hand, Miss Sweden looks very cute! A very nicely styled traditional costume, well-tailored in spite of not being form-fitting, much like the similar pieces for Argentina, Slovak Republic and Estonia above.
Miss Trinidad and Tobago. Nice idea, if you're looking to be in a lapidarian Mardi Gras parade. As a national costume? Not so much.
Although her skirt is a bit busy - I'm not fond of having recognizable images, as opposed to geometric patterns, in skirts. I feel it overloads the brain, and you spend more time trying to figure out what is there mushed between the folds and what is it supposed to be anywway? than looking at the work and the person overall - I still do like Miss Zambia's outfit. Another one of simplicity and fairly good taste. Although, I am a little confused by the seashell boob armor.
There's something about having two oppositely crossing drapes on Miss Brazil that just makes me start thinking of bandoliers.
The simple and traditional look of Miss Malaysia is pretty nice, I think.
Then there was Miss Slovenia. (You can also see her in the background of Miss Slovak Republic's picture, above). National colors, I understand. But she looks like a marshmallow. Or maybe a layered shot with whipped cream on top, like a Blowjob.
Can someone tell me WHAT is the deal with hot pink this year? Miss South Africa would look awesome if she were NOT accented in hot pink. Why not a nice jade green? She would look positively luminous in jewel tones.
I think the designer for Miss Spain was going for a midpoint between a flamenco dancer and a cool clean classical contessa, or perhaps a girl's 15th birthday where she dresses in white and is eligible to go out in society - I'm forgetting the name Cinq-something. Or is that only a Mexican custom? At any rate, the designer failed. And that's the point.
Miss Angola. In two words? Very cool. A great use of color blended in with a nationalistic feel that doesn't go overboard. The designer on Miss Ghana, on the other hand, needs to get the memo re: silly hats.
Miss Venezuela. Will someone, anyone, PLEASE tell me why designers make a perfectly lovely costume and then flush the whole thing down the toilet by adding some utterly absurd head-gear to it? Must send memo about sillyass hats.
"Look, I'm wearing a cake on my head!" said Miss Ukraine. Her designer ALSO not only missed the memo on silly hats, but evidently also missed the memo on gratuitous religious iconography plastered between the boobs and across the abdomen. Notice where her white name ribbon is, too. Designers, here's a hint: You KNOW they have to wear the ID ribbon. Make a dress that works WITH the ribbon, and doesn't require it being looped on an appendage like a spare accessory. The rest of the costume, on the other hand, is really very well done: nice harmony of colors and well-tailored to her form, especially in the waist and hips.
Ooooh. Oh boy. Man. Um. Miss Guyana. Please, please, please tell me why you did not fire your costume designer. That's just... painful. And she looks so good in her evening gown, too! Too bad the National Costume was so bad.
And also in that category? Miss Latvia. The sheer catsuit, the visible panties... and so much fringe makes me cringe. But her fringe ain't nothing compared to Miss New Zealand's fringe. Fringe QUEEN. While we're at it, Miss Mauritius can get lumped in here with the other sillies.
A number of the National Costumes seemed to indicate that the countries have a long and rich history of being Vegas showgirls. Not that that's a bad thing. As showgirl costumes, they're quite compelling, visually interesting, and I'm impressed at people who can wear them. Also, many of these are Central or South American countries where Carnivale is a major holiday, so maybe that's where I'm getting the showgirl vibe from.
Miss Bolivia. (I do like the color work in this one, and she wears it well. Great stage presence.)
Miss Cayman Islands.
Miss Ireland. (Irish? If you say so...)
Miss Canada. (Um, brrrrr.)
Miss Northern Marianas. ("I'm a piece of white lint!")
Miss Costa Rica.
Miss Poland. (I like hers a lot!)
Miss Nicaragua. (Snicker. Stupid hat's so big it looks like she needs to steady it with her hand. She's got more on top of her head than on the rest of her body!)
Miss Guatemala. (Too busy... I wish I could see the design as a whole, though.)
Miss Panama.
Miss Uruguay.
Miss Paraguay. (She has a sort of Theda Bara Jungle Princess look to her. Which I think I kind of like.)
Miss Peru. (Ditto, but not as well executed as Paraguay. And WHAT is with that hat?)
Miss Sri Lanka. (Memo: Hats. I like the skirty bottom part, but it doesn't feel like the rest of the costume goes with it at all.)
Miss United Kingdom. (Wow, you can't count her ribs! She looks healthy! You mean, you can be a beauty queen AND eat as well? She's just shattered so many people's worlds...)
Miss US Virgin Islands. (Hm. Too busy, and poorly asymetric. That gold thing over her shoulder reminds me of those collars you stick on dogs to keep them from biting their stitches after surgery.)
Actually, there's another costume that's darned giggleworthy, other than Miss Dominican Republic and Miss Antigua and Barbuda. Miss St. Vincent (Again, a regional thing?). BEWARE HER HORNS OF DOOMY DOOM DOOM. It also looks like she got shot out of a canon through the fine fabrics section of a Joann's store.
Miss Turks and Calcos. Poorly tailored? Check. Silly hat? Check. Too busy? Check. Weird writing you have to try to puzzle out as well as get the whole impression of her and her wearing it at the same time? Check. This one breaks ALL the rules. So shameful when a bad costume just overshadows everything else.
That about covers it. There were a few I didn't recap. USA's, for example, and France's CanCan Dancer girl, and a few others that I was really mostly indifferent to.
As is said in MASH, "That is all."