For the Loss of You (Rainy Days and Mondays Prompt)
Fandom: Angel (Buffyverse)
Rating: T
Pairing: Spangel
Word Count: 703
Warnings: angst with a happy ending, mention of suicidal contemplation
Summary: Spike asks a question and gets an unexpected answer.
A/N: written for 1_million_words Rainy Days and Mondays prompt “I wanted to believe you thought about me.” At least I managed to make it end on a less angsty note.
“I wanted to believe you thought about me. Just once, in those nineteen days. Wanted to believe you felt some kind of sadness when you felt me go, when you got the call. Stupid to think you would care, I know, but that’s me, yeah? William the bloody stupid pillock. So, tell me, Angel, did you?”
Spike turned away, couldn’t bear to look at the older vampire as he waited for him to answer, didn’t want to see the cruelty in those umber eyes as he sneered back at him. Shouldn’t have even asked, really, but he always was a glutton for punishment.
“Yes, Spike. I thought about you.” Angel stepped up behind the blonde and whirled him around, nudging his chin up, needing him to see the sincerity, needing to see those storm-dark eyes brighten again. “Of course, I thought about you. How could I not? My most favored Childe, dust, killed saving the world in my stead…how could I think of anything other than you? Nearly three weeks, and I thought of little else, William. Ask the others. Ask them how, suddenly, one night, I left the hotel and didn’t come back till the sun threatened over the horizon, covered in blood and dust and God knows what else. Ask them how, as they set up the transition over to Wolfram and Hart, I did nothing but sleep until the sun went down, and tore bloody swathes through the demon nightlife. Took me a week to finally listen to their urging and stay in, let my wounds heal properly.”
“Angel…” Spike gasped, eyes wide as Angel’s confession sank in, turned his world upside down.
“I know you think I hate you, Will, that I’ve forgotten about the way we were, before Romania. I don’t. I haven’t. You’ve never been absent from my mind, or my heart. Feeling the loss of you, Spike, I nearly staked myself. Then she called. Told me what happened. How you were so brave, a hero right up until the last. That’s what stopped me.” Angel chuckled softly at the memory. “She actually told me I should be proud of you. And I was. So proud, Childe. Through all the pain, I was so proud of you for doing what I couldn’t; for fighting for your soul, for stopping the First even though it meant your own death, for all of it.”
“Remind me to thank the Slayer someday then, yeah? For saving you from yourself. You always were such a broody, melodramatic git, weren’t you? Why would you think, for even a second, killing yourself over me was a good idea?”
“I didn’t know how to live in a world that no longer had you in it. Even when all we did around each other was argue, at least you still existed, at least you were still there. I felt that connection dissipate, and I lost it. I think my old room at the Hyperion is still a mess. The stake was right there, in my hand, when the phone rang; almost didn’t bother to answer it. She saved me. She saved me by telling me how you saved us all.”
"Cor, will we ever be able to stop being grateful for the existence of Buffy Summers?" Spike shook his head and then shot Angel a baleful glare. "And don't think I'm not mad at the idea of you offin' yourself 'fore you even knew if the world was safe. Yeah, I know you were meant to be the backup if the Sunnydale lot failed. Shame on you. World's more important than just you or me, pet. You can't ever forget that."
"Guess I'll just have to keep you around to remind me."
"Like you could get rid of me now; someone has to make sure you've a reason to keep on fightin', yeah?" Spike leaned up and brushed his lips against Angel’s in a soft kiss, eyes sparkling with mischief as he pulled away. He took Angel’s hand in his and tugged him towards the private elevator. "C'mon, luv, someone's owed punishment for not rememberin' his duty. Champions do not get to go gentle into that good night, and you’ll do well to remember it."
Rating: T
Pairing: Spangel
Word Count: 703
Warnings: angst with a happy ending, mention of suicidal contemplation
Summary: Spike asks a question and gets an unexpected answer.
A/N: written for 1_million_words Rainy Days and Mondays prompt “I wanted to believe you thought about me.” At least I managed to make it end on a less angsty note.
“I wanted to believe you thought about me. Just once, in those nineteen days. Wanted to believe you felt some kind of sadness when you felt me go, when you got the call. Stupid to think you would care, I know, but that’s me, yeah? William the bloody stupid pillock. So, tell me, Angel, did you?”
Spike turned away, couldn’t bear to look at the older vampire as he waited for him to answer, didn’t want to see the cruelty in those umber eyes as he sneered back at him. Shouldn’t have even asked, really, but he always was a glutton for punishment.
“Yes, Spike. I thought about you.” Angel stepped up behind the blonde and whirled him around, nudging his chin up, needing him to see the sincerity, needing to see those storm-dark eyes brighten again. “Of course, I thought about you. How could I not? My most favored Childe, dust, killed saving the world in my stead…how could I think of anything other than you? Nearly three weeks, and I thought of little else, William. Ask the others. Ask them how, suddenly, one night, I left the hotel and didn’t come back till the sun threatened over the horizon, covered in blood and dust and God knows what else. Ask them how, as they set up the transition over to Wolfram and Hart, I did nothing but sleep until the sun went down, and tore bloody swathes through the demon nightlife. Took me a week to finally listen to their urging and stay in, let my wounds heal properly.”
“Angel…” Spike gasped, eyes wide as Angel’s confession sank in, turned his world upside down.
“I know you think I hate you, Will, that I’ve forgotten about the way we were, before Romania. I don’t. I haven’t. You’ve never been absent from my mind, or my heart. Feeling the loss of you, Spike, I nearly staked myself. Then she called. Told me what happened. How you were so brave, a hero right up until the last. That’s what stopped me.” Angel chuckled softly at the memory. “She actually told me I should be proud of you. And I was. So proud, Childe. Through all the pain, I was so proud of you for doing what I couldn’t; for fighting for your soul, for stopping the First even though it meant your own death, for all of it.”
“Remind me to thank the Slayer someday then, yeah? For saving you from yourself. You always were such a broody, melodramatic git, weren’t you? Why would you think, for even a second, killing yourself over me was a good idea?”
“I didn’t know how to live in a world that no longer had you in it. Even when all we did around each other was argue, at least you still existed, at least you were still there. I felt that connection dissipate, and I lost it. I think my old room at the Hyperion is still a mess. The stake was right there, in my hand, when the phone rang; almost didn’t bother to answer it. She saved me. She saved me by telling me how you saved us all.”
"Cor, will we ever be able to stop being grateful for the existence of Buffy Summers?" Spike shook his head and then shot Angel a baleful glare. "And don't think I'm not mad at the idea of you offin' yourself 'fore you even knew if the world was safe. Yeah, I know you were meant to be the backup if the Sunnydale lot failed. Shame on you. World's more important than just you or me, pet. You can't ever forget that."
"Guess I'll just have to keep you around to remind me."
"Like you could get rid of me now; someone has to make sure you've a reason to keep on fightin', yeah?" Spike leaned up and brushed his lips against Angel’s in a soft kiss, eyes sparkling with mischief as he pulled away. He took Angel’s hand in his and tugged him towards the private elevator. "C'mon, luv, someone's owed punishment for not rememberin' his duty. Champions do not get to go gentle into that good night, and you’ll do well to remember it."