(no subject)

[id_versus_ego]

looking for a friend, i found forever in her. fell in love with her ways, her words, her movements. that sparkle in her eyes when she cried that first day. these are the things i live for the most.

ive wanted and created a world of bliss, where leaving each other would mean the end, to make yourself need somebody as much as air. i did that...

and now im suffocating.

i have her, but dont have her, because shes scared that shes not enough, scared that im looking for more for something that isnt her...
when shes been it for so long.

i failed to admit something last night, but not because i wanted to hide it from her, but i struggled to admit it to myself first. i cant admit something i dont know... logic, rationality, doesnt work that way.

i admitted it to myself. i told her. she was happy that it came out, but that doesnt change the fact that everything still feels ruined.

i made her my air, my water
and im suffocating.
i need you.