(no subject)
my life... my relationship... right now...
im so comfortable with it really, to the point where i can walk naked in front of cameras, jump off of cliffs in hopes that she'll catch me. i can say anything to anybody without sounding too stupid, i can talk to strangers, make them laugh as long as they speak english....
then theres jackie's mom. im probably worrying too much about what she really thinks of me, just like jackie's worrying too much about what my mom thinks of her.
perhaps if i visit her, i can make her mom think im a sweetheart or something, even if she doesnt speak english (just a bit).
i need to stop eating more. fuck, everybody says that. "i need to lose weight." then all these women magazines have like... all these "LOSE 30 POUNDS IN 6 WEEKS" deals. i mean, yea its possible. its just i feel america worries a lot about weight.
jackie's a cutttttie.
sorry, totally random.
what is it to say something or somebody is beautiful? its always been way too opinionated to me. wheres this universal beauty that should be out there? i say jackie's beautiful, but that doesnt mean i expect everybody, or anybody, to see the same things i see...
but of course, those ppl are there. guys that work with her probably have a crush on her, a secret wish of their own to hook up with her. yea.. they'll be there. cant wait til the day comes where i can say, "yea? well i live with her."
i wish i was more than just words and pictures to her.
i know i am.
with us comes a great deal of emotion, connectivity.
i just wanna be there badly;
to just close my eyes...
let time take me and my body
to that point with her...
sounds like she needs it right now. shes bored with her spot in life. shes afraid of creating a routine of the same repetitious life, days.
what i have from her is something that absolutely nobody can have. im a jealous boyfriend when i choose to show it. i want her life. its a greedy thing to say. if i had the ability to just feel and think what she feels and thinks all the time, i'd plug myself into that channel and stay there for a long time.
wish she would trust me a little bit more. take me as i am.
work is getting a little more of a fun place to hang out. i guess when i can make customers smile, making strangers smile, its a powerful thing for my self esteem.
so
i totally bought a webcam. im liking it. jackie's liking it at least.
im so comfortable with it really, to the point where i can walk naked in front of cameras, jump off of cliffs in hopes that she'll catch me. i can say anything to anybody without sounding too stupid, i can talk to strangers, make them laugh as long as they speak english....
then theres jackie's mom. im probably worrying too much about what she really thinks of me, just like jackie's worrying too much about what my mom thinks of her.
perhaps if i visit her, i can make her mom think im a sweetheart or something, even if she doesnt speak english (just a bit).
i need to stop eating more. fuck, everybody says that. "i need to lose weight." then all these women magazines have like... all these "LOSE 30 POUNDS IN 6 WEEKS" deals. i mean, yea its possible. its just i feel america worries a lot about weight.
jackie's a cutttttie.
sorry, totally random.
what is it to say something or somebody is beautiful? its always been way too opinionated to me. wheres this universal beauty that should be out there? i say jackie's beautiful, but that doesnt mean i expect everybody, or anybody, to see the same things i see...
but of course, those ppl are there. guys that work with her probably have a crush on her, a secret wish of their own to hook up with her. yea.. they'll be there. cant wait til the day comes where i can say, "yea? well i live with her."
i wish i was more than just words and pictures to her.
i know i am.
with us comes a great deal of emotion, connectivity.
i just wanna be there badly;
to just close my eyes...
let time take me and my body
to that point with her...
sounds like she needs it right now. shes bored with her spot in life. shes afraid of creating a routine of the same repetitious life, days.
what i have from her is something that absolutely nobody can have. im a jealous boyfriend when i choose to show it. i want her life. its a greedy thing to say. if i had the ability to just feel and think what she feels and thinks all the time, i'd plug myself into that channel and stay there for a long time.
wish she would trust me a little bit more. take me as i am.
work is getting a little more of a fun place to hang out. i guess when i can make customers smile, making strangers smile, its a powerful thing for my self esteem.
so
i totally bought a webcam. im liking it. jackie's liking it at least.