Difficult not to feel just a little bit disappointed...
This week was decent, at best. There was some good moments, but only moments... Nothing seemed to last.
Every day I found something new to be disappointed in. I'm disappointed in myself, a lot of friends, recent events, and a few things beyond my control. For most of it, I can only blame myself, but even if I had another chance, I wouldn't change a thing. I do tend to make bad choices though...
Nothing is how I want it. My grades, my current relationships with a few people, my daily routine, my math skills, my bass clarinet and baritone playing... among other things that I guess sound pretty trivial.
I suppose an A- doesn't matter, friends and family aren't perfect, a new semester is coming soon, I can buy a book, and I have far too much time to practice. But this still bothers me. Maybe I expect a little too much of myself and others. But.. I don't expect perfection, I just expect improvement...
Some things aren't as exciting as they once were.
I don't want to host a foreign exchange student now. I don't care about learning Spanish anymore. I don't want to be in high school any longer. I don't want to stay in Minnesota. I don't want to wait around for you.
I want to be an only child for a year. I want to learn trig. I want to go to college. Tomorrow. In England. I want to leave you behind.
I want this to mean something.
I want to talk to some one. I want a hug.
I want to not be afraid of getting what I want. I want to not run from every opportunity.
I want a break.
I want not to complain. I want not to talk about myself so much. I want to brighten someone's day.
I want to be free from want.
I want to actually know something about life. I want to understand the world. I want to understand emotion. I want to hold on to logic.
I want to do my physics homework.
Every day I found something new to be disappointed in. I'm disappointed in myself, a lot of friends, recent events, and a few things beyond my control. For most of it, I can only blame myself, but even if I had another chance, I wouldn't change a thing. I do tend to make bad choices though...
Nothing is how I want it. My grades, my current relationships with a few people, my daily routine, my math skills, my bass clarinet and baritone playing... among other things that I guess sound pretty trivial.
I suppose an A- doesn't matter, friends and family aren't perfect, a new semester is coming soon, I can buy a book, and I have far too much time to practice. But this still bothers me. Maybe I expect a little too much of myself and others. But.. I don't expect perfection, I just expect improvement...
Some things aren't as exciting as they once were.
I don't want to host a foreign exchange student now. I don't care about learning Spanish anymore. I don't want to be in high school any longer. I don't want to stay in Minnesota. I don't want to wait around for you.
I want to be an only child for a year. I want to learn trig. I want to go to college. Tomorrow. In England. I want to leave you behind.
I want this to mean something.
I want to talk to some one. I want a hug.
I want to not be afraid of getting what I want. I want to not run from every opportunity.
I want a break.
I want not to complain. I want not to talk about myself so much. I want to brighten someone's day.
I want to be free from want.
I want to actually know something about life. I want to understand the world. I want to understand emotion. I want to hold on to logic.
I want to do my physics homework.