(no subject)
The more I find myself to be feeling as though things are looking up, and I have reason to be content and happy, the more things tend to fall apart around me, as if challenging my ability to stay upbeat and secure.
I've found myself falling more and more in love with Drew every minute of every day, and am almost constantly smiling because of him. I'm also fighting my pessimistic side that tells me it's only to be short-lived, and will end any day now, or that he'll just turn out to be just like the rest and either find me to be too much to deal with, or not pretty enough, or not good enough, or not... (insert any old explanation here). I'm fighting with my fear of inferiority and of losing him to someone better... I also find it exasperating that the boy eats less than I do, and finds it to be a good thing when he loses more weight. He hasn't any weight to lose, and yet tells me I need to make sure I eat at least semi-regularly. Gah.
My car's dying... bit by bit, it's not supposed to be a commuter car, I suppose. I just really can't afford this...
House situation's rather unstable, and that has me freaking out...
I start my summer class (Sociology at the Ethan Way location for ARC) next Monday, then have a full Pell Grant scholarship for classes in August. I'm quitting Round Table as soon as those start... I'll be taking 16 units this fall, and will only be working Eskaton. I so can't wait!
I'm just feeling rather really discontent right now, and I'm hoping it's just due to the new birth control... It had better go away soon. As with this insatiable feeling of hunger, and the over-emotional-ness. It's driving me mad.
I've found myself falling more and more in love with Drew every minute of every day, and am almost constantly smiling because of him. I'm also fighting my pessimistic side that tells me it's only to be short-lived, and will end any day now, or that he'll just turn out to be just like the rest and either find me to be too much to deal with, or not pretty enough, or not good enough, or not... (insert any old explanation here). I'm fighting with my fear of inferiority and of losing him to someone better... I also find it exasperating that the boy eats less than I do, and finds it to be a good thing when he loses more weight. He hasn't any weight to lose, and yet tells me I need to make sure I eat at least semi-regularly. Gah.
My car's dying... bit by bit, it's not supposed to be a commuter car, I suppose. I just really can't afford this...
House situation's rather unstable, and that has me freaking out...
I start my summer class (Sociology at the Ethan Way location for ARC) next Monday, then have a full Pell Grant scholarship for classes in August. I'm quitting Round Table as soon as those start... I'll be taking 16 units this fall, and will only be working Eskaton. I so can't wait!
I'm just feeling rather really discontent right now, and I'm hoping it's just due to the new birth control... It had better go away soon. As with this insatiable feeling of hunger, and the over-emotional-ness. It's driving me mad.