Quick and dirty UPCAT tips.

[icontradictjadd]

(Best taken with a grain of salt, wielded at your own discretion. I will not be held responsible for peoples' stupidity. Never in my life.)

How to pass the UPCAT for sure:

1) Take UPCAT
2) ????
3) PROFIT!

Cuidado: ???? is the most important part.

Remember virtu and fortuna? This should cover virtu. Dealing with Fortuna is best summarized by the beloved phrase, "Good luck." Tips are from a certified UPCAT passer. (Sino kaya?)

• Relax.
• Get at least eight hours of sleep.
• Get there at least thirty minutes before the test starts: not late yet not too early to cause nervousness.
• Do not powerdress. DO NOT POWERDRESS. This isn't prom, grad ball, your debut, or grad pic day... and it is most certainly not "try-to-impress-other-people-with-nice-clothes day." You'll come across as trying-hard. If I might recommend my typical U.P. outfit: t-shirt, shorts, and slippers.
  
• Do not try to impress people with fancy-talk. A great deal of us have short attention spans. Most especially, do not talk about how you're in the top 69% or something of your class/batch. Odysseus/nobody cares (only those who've read The Odyssey would get this. ) No one cares. Not even the Care Bears give a flying frag. Ok, maybe Peter Noone cares. And you'll sound like a geek/dork/loser. Nice first impression.
  
• Bring all necessary things. If you forget them, go home and don't take the test. If you must go home, make it quick.
  
• Right minus wrong is overrated.
• Make intelligent guesses. (At this point, intelligence is already a moot idea.)
• Similarly, if you don't know, don't even think of guessing. Leave it blank. (Maybe this is why the Math part of my exam was mostly free of shaded circles?)
• Lulzy questions are meant to be laughed at at first, then make you wonder how the hell anyone can get them wrong. *baba telepono*
  
• Make friends. You never know if you'll get the chance to see that cutie again. The odds of you making friends is staggering, but then again, what are the odds of you two seeing again? The odds are on your side.
• Check the IntarMed box, you never know what could happen.
• Take care of your fourth-year grades. You can't get into U.P. if you don't graduate from high school.
• Pick your poison: A for "academic." B for "brilliant." C for "correct." D for "dilligent (?)" (I chose C for correct.)
• Do not whine about the exam afterwards. No matter what you do, you cannot change what's been done. Besides, whining won't get you into U.P., but getting good grades might.
• Remember, there are only two places of higher study in the Philippines: UP, and others. Kidding aside, you can always transfer into UP if you want to academic Darwinism is alive and kicking. 
• Only an imbecile would base his human dignity on passing or failing the UPCAT (and I opine that that sort of person is not what U.P. naming mahal is looking for.)
  

It all boils down to not trying too hard.

PROTIP: Do not try too hard.

And besides, are you sure you want to get into U.P.? Andami kong sakit ng ulo na naranasan dito sa pa-man-tasang hi-irang. :))