just writing because I think I should
it's May 24 weekend! I love the booze... it's fun, gotta get drunk. Man I really don't actually know what to write... mmm heather if you see Holly can you tell her to freaking call me, I need to tell her I'm gonna be living with her in a couple of months.. not even that long either. I think it will be good, a vacation almost, my live is so much more complex in Vancouver compared to Ontario, in Ontatario it was school, work, alcohol... repeat... four years of my life went into me doing exactly that, with the biggest disposable income ever, I like Vancouver though and i hated Ontario, I really miss my friends though, and non psychotic lesbians... well actually I kind of like them. Which by the way I finally got up the nerve to call AJ (you people must be getting so fucking sick of me writing about her by now... which is totally understandable, I have like two happy posts of my entire aj lj centric journal and there both insanely banal as well.) but it sucked because her line is busy, and me being the freak I am just keeps calling it... what's the chance she's home anyway, my alcoholic ex gf being home on May 24, that's almost as likely as I dunno, me forgetting my discman or umm... actually I'm not all that predictable... hol' bouncing out on a joint... it's about that likely... I'm so odd, I ditched out on plans with people EVERY single day this week.. and it's my friends birthday today, I feel pretty shitty about that, I just don't feel like going out, whenever I go out I get a little depressed and start wanting to go home to check if she called or emailed or something... which is weird I know, people have officially started to stop calling me because I've bunked on them so many times... in fact I'm getting obsessive over emailing because of this, basically so I have something to do... maybe I should be smart and get caller id... or ummm get over her, that might be a good idea, but really I think I am, maybe I'm just in the habit of waiting for her, and don't want to leave my safe zone... really I can NOT believe I have friends for this reason, I'm so bad, I just need them to come hang at my house... this is really enough of this conversation
I should make a list of stuff I want to have happen in the next year. (I love lists) and I'm incredibly bad at the lj (I"m hoping in a year I can read these posts and laugh at myself for making such an ass of myself to a whole bunch of random people I don't know
umm yeah
Get into University
Quit TIm Hortons...
Get a girlfriend who likes me back (maybe I need to lower my standards or something... possibly choose one who doesn't live REALLY far away
FInish with Asha... or this stage of Asha... maybe she'll come back and be better
Go out dancing and really dance
Make four random friends
Become less obsessively shy
Travel Canada by bus or car
Make my bestfriend move out here with me
Dance in the rain
Climb a tree
Become less of a procrastinater
ERm what else can I talk about, I really miss Holly, she'll absolutely kill me if she ever reads this but here is my analogy about her... she's my comfy blanket, for such a long time it was her and I against everyone else... which was funny cause we really were friends with everyone... but you know when you go out with like a lot of people, to like parties and shit, it was always her and I and then everyone else, we went through 100 groups of friends together, she knows me about in some ways better than I know myself, she knows my moods, and she's still friends with me, I have done the worst possible things you can do to a person to her, and she still loves me, there has been contless times where I was freaking out because our friend commit suicide, or my moms death date came, or like Kate was being a bitch, or something stupid like I needed a smoke when I quit and she was there... it was great, truthfully I don't think I can do my world without her, which is odd because I was the one who left , not her, and it really has been killing her, or at least it seems it has been , it's fucked cause we won't talk for a week to a month and then talk and we'll be right where we started when I met her when I was 12 and asked if she was a hyper person or liked horses... make friends in the weirdest fucking ways.. and it's funny cause in a lot of ways were polar opposites... like I love school she hates it, I like folk she likes death metel, I like girls, she likes boys... key word boys, I"m the shyest person you will ever meet, she is the most flamoyant people person ever, I dress and look like a guy, she is all girly club girl... maybe that's why we get along so well, because were so different yet alike... I actually want her to read this so she knows how important she is to me... you totally gage how much I've been drinking through this eh... my spelling, drama and grammatical ability keeps getting worse...
THis Dan bern song rocks my world (jerusalem or whatever)
umm... I think I'm gonna go call aj again... yeah
James
I should make a list of stuff I want to have happen in the next year. (I love lists) and I'm incredibly bad at the lj (I"m hoping in a year I can read these posts and laugh at myself for making such an ass of myself to a whole bunch of random people I don't know
umm yeah
Get into University
Quit TIm Hortons...
Get a girlfriend who likes me back (maybe I need to lower my standards or something... possibly choose one who doesn't live REALLY far away
FInish with Asha... or this stage of Asha... maybe she'll come back and be better
Go out dancing and really dance
Make four random friends
Become less obsessively shy
Travel Canada by bus or car
Make my bestfriend move out here with me
Dance in the rain
Climb a tree
Become less of a procrastinater
ERm what else can I talk about, I really miss Holly, she'll absolutely kill me if she ever reads this but here is my analogy about her... she's my comfy blanket, for such a long time it was her and I against everyone else... which was funny cause we really were friends with everyone... but you know when you go out with like a lot of people, to like parties and shit, it was always her and I and then everyone else, we went through 100 groups of friends together, she knows me about in some ways better than I know myself, she knows my moods, and she's still friends with me, I have done the worst possible things you can do to a person to her, and she still loves me, there has been contless times where I was freaking out because our friend commit suicide, or my moms death date came, or like Kate was being a bitch, or something stupid like I needed a smoke when I quit and she was there... it was great, truthfully I don't think I can do my world without her, which is odd because I was the one who left , not her, and it really has been killing her, or at least it seems it has been , it's fucked cause we won't talk for a week to a month and then talk and we'll be right where we started when I met her when I was 12 and asked if she was a hyper person or liked horses... make friends in the weirdest fucking ways.. and it's funny cause in a lot of ways were polar opposites... like I love school she hates it, I like folk she likes death metel, I like girls, she likes boys... key word boys, I"m the shyest person you will ever meet, she is the most flamoyant people person ever, I dress and look like a guy, she is all girly club girl... maybe that's why we get along so well, because were so different yet alike... I actually want her to read this so she knows how important she is to me... you totally gage how much I've been drinking through this eh... my spelling, drama and grammatical ability keeps getting worse...
THis Dan bern song rocks my world (jerusalem or whatever)
umm... I think I'm gonna go call aj again... yeah
James