red rotary phone
October 6, 2008. Happy 50th Birthday, Mom!
It might be her 51rst. I don’t know for sure. I would like to call my mother today, and wish her a happy birthday. I’m not sure what kind of idea that one is; a good or bad one. I know in the long run, from a 100% neutral position, its always better to have wished well than not to have wished at all, regardless of consequence. I try, but I’m not 100% neutral in my position. But that’s something that I’d like to be. So I’ll e-mail her. I feel, though, that an e-mail from me will set the cogs of her mind in motion and she’ll come up with a thousand other reasons (besides the fact that she is my mother, and it is her birthday) as to why I would e-mail her. I’m an overly analytical person… but I get it very VERY honestly. I’ve been very lucky to have had my eyes opened to this on so many separate occasions. It’s a fun game getting around your own brain… and I really do mean that.
I’ve been thinking about my second livejournal lately, red rotary phone. My first one was Sunshowers, and I can remember updating that one shortly after my 16th birthday, writing about dubar and monster trucks, sitting in a computer lab at RHS next to Maureen after we finished virtually dissecting a frog for biology 11. I remember making Red Rotary Phone after my great grandmother died. She had a red rotary phone in her house and my grandmother gave it to me. (I’d asked for it) I remember bawwwling when My father gave it to me. My grandmother had cleaned it. It didn’t smell like my great nanny’s house anymore. The faded white and neon orange Boisdale fire department sticker was gone along with most of the random doodles. I loved the fuck out of those random doodles. I remember wondering if my dad made them when he was like, a lil toddler or something. There’s still a bit of a sticker left at the bottom of the phone, and it has scribbles on it. I don’t know if they’re from me or not. The phone smelled like disinfectant when I got it. Between the coils of the cord though, there are still dark sticky bits of time and cigarette residue ( for lack of a better word, haa). Red Rotary Phone was a good name for the livejournal I had, I guess.
I’m having a thought right now that’s too big for words.
This isn’t it, but it seems to be fitting:
I’ve been seeing 444 a lot the past week. That number is supposed to mean that the angles are near, for one. And its also representative of the earth, all aspects of nature. I’ve read somewhere once that a reoccurrence of 4’s in your life beckons persistence and consideration of all things. 444 even showed up on the GST cheque that came in the mail for me today. (chicka chicka yeah, gst! Gst!)
And now its in anyone’s life that reads this. So yeah. Stay strong, cuz it won’t be long.
I bought a cell phone. It was mad impulse buy. I bought it to take my mind off Allyse, kind of. I mean, I wasn’t like, “I can’t stop thinking about this issue. I need a cell phone” But when I look back on it, without thinking that thought, that’s pretty much what happened. It was definitely a welcome distraction. I met Carmen Townsend when I was buying it… Mike and Anthony had to go down the mall for a second and I guess Mike saw Carmen Townsend walking in and told her that he was with me. Then she came up to me and introduced herself. It was the day before I played at bunkers with her. I have more thoughts I’d like to put in here on the topic of my cell phone, but still, on the topic of cell phones and Mike, he just called me, and I’m gunna go chill with him for an hour. And then I’ll probably come home and get a shower. SO peace easy, love and light, good times, alrightt.
It might be her 51rst. I don’t know for sure. I would like to call my mother today, and wish her a happy birthday. I’m not sure what kind of idea that one is; a good or bad one. I know in the long run, from a 100% neutral position, its always better to have wished well than not to have wished at all, regardless of consequence. I try, but I’m not 100% neutral in my position. But that’s something that I’d like to be. So I’ll e-mail her. I feel, though, that an e-mail from me will set the cogs of her mind in motion and she’ll come up with a thousand other reasons (besides the fact that she is my mother, and it is her birthday) as to why I would e-mail her. I’m an overly analytical person… but I get it very VERY honestly. I’ve been very lucky to have had my eyes opened to this on so many separate occasions. It’s a fun game getting around your own brain… and I really do mean that.
I’ve been thinking about my second livejournal lately, red rotary phone. My first one was Sunshowers, and I can remember updating that one shortly after my 16th birthday, writing about dubar and monster trucks, sitting in a computer lab at RHS next to Maureen after we finished virtually dissecting a frog for biology 11. I remember making Red Rotary Phone after my great grandmother died. She had a red rotary phone in her house and my grandmother gave it to me. (I’d asked for it) I remember bawwwling when My father gave it to me. My grandmother had cleaned it. It didn’t smell like my great nanny’s house anymore. The faded white and neon orange Boisdale fire department sticker was gone along with most of the random doodles. I loved the fuck out of those random doodles. I remember wondering if my dad made them when he was like, a lil toddler or something. There’s still a bit of a sticker left at the bottom of the phone, and it has scribbles on it. I don’t know if they’re from me or not. The phone smelled like disinfectant when I got it. Between the coils of the cord though, there are still dark sticky bits of time and cigarette residue ( for lack of a better word, haa). Red Rotary Phone was a good name for the livejournal I had, I guess.
I’m having a thought right now that’s too big for words.
This isn’t it, but it seems to be fitting:
I’ve been seeing 444 a lot the past week. That number is supposed to mean that the angles are near, for one. And its also representative of the earth, all aspects of nature. I’ve read somewhere once that a reoccurrence of 4’s in your life beckons persistence and consideration of all things. 444 even showed up on the GST cheque that came in the mail for me today. (chicka chicka yeah, gst! Gst!)
And now its in anyone’s life that reads this. So yeah. Stay strong, cuz it won’t be long.
I bought a cell phone. It was mad impulse buy. I bought it to take my mind off Allyse, kind of. I mean, I wasn’t like, “I can’t stop thinking about this issue. I need a cell phone” But when I look back on it, without thinking that thought, that’s pretty much what happened. It was definitely a welcome distraction. I met Carmen Townsend when I was buying it… Mike and Anthony had to go down the mall for a second and I guess Mike saw Carmen Townsend walking in and told her that he was with me. Then she came up to me and introduced herself. It was the day before I played at bunkers with her. I have more thoughts I’d like to put in here on the topic of my cell phone, but still, on the topic of cell phones and Mike, he just called me, and I’m gunna go chill with him for an hour. And then I’ll probably come home and get a shower. SO peace easy, love and light, good times, alrightt.