advice, anyone?
i dont know why i'm writing this in here, probably a bad move on my part, but i need to say all this somewhere.
i don't want to waste the best four years of my life on one person. not that he is a waste, at ALL, but a relationship is not keeping who you hang out with limited to one person. and i need to experience things and fucking go out and have a good time. i need to make mistakes and fuck up and get around it and learn and move on. i need all these things. i can't keep on keeping myself around one person all day everyday. no matter how amazing and special that person is to you (And trust me, shawn is VERY important to me!) nothing good can come from forcing someone to spend all their time with you and no one else. i don't like what it does to us. i dont like what it does to ME mostly. i hate being cranky and irritated with shawn all the time. i don't like treating him the way i have been. but its hard to act any other way when i am around him alllll the time and we are doing the same thing all the time. i AM only sixteen and i'm not married yet!i don't want to spend all my high school years being 'married' becauase that's what i have the whole rest of my life for! i love shawn to death and i really want to marry him eventually, he is everything i'm not and i love us together. but i think i need some time to figure out who i am without shawn, since it has never been just me.
i dont knoooooooooooooooow
i don't want to waste the best four years of my life on one person. not that he is a waste, at ALL, but a relationship is not keeping who you hang out with limited to one person. and i need to experience things and fucking go out and have a good time. i need to make mistakes and fuck up and get around it and learn and move on. i need all these things. i can't keep on keeping myself around one person all day everyday. no matter how amazing and special that person is to you (And trust me, shawn is VERY important to me!) nothing good can come from forcing someone to spend all their time with you and no one else. i don't like what it does to us. i dont like what it does to ME mostly. i hate being cranky and irritated with shawn all the time. i don't like treating him the way i have been. but its hard to act any other way when i am around him alllll the time and we are doing the same thing all the time. i AM only sixteen and i'm not married yet!i don't want to spend all my high school years being 'married' becauase that's what i have the whole rest of my life for! i love shawn to death and i really want to marry him eventually, he is everything i'm not and i love us together. but i think i need some time to figure out who i am without shawn, since it has never been just me.
i dont knoooooooooooooooow