i think i'll call this one "englightenment", if you don't mind?
SUMmerSUMmary:
summer of 2005 was amazing,
my only regret was not recording every minute detail in this pathetic journal so that i will never forget anything i learned this summer.
Shawn, is of course, amazing.
and nothing and no one is every going to get in the way of that. obviously.
also, i:
-got a lot of partying out of my system this year.
i have now had a sufficient number of drunken evenings/mornings to hold me over for quite some time. and i do now realize that i am not immune to the ignorance that comes with being drunk.
-learned to be careful of who you trust.
how cliche, but you never, never know when someone you think you can count on is going to turn around and stab you in the back, or in my case, the front. i also learned not to be too, too
trusting of people you don't know. for every person on earth who just wants to be honest and get along with people, there are 5 people who are only looking to get ahead, not worrying out whose toes they are stepping on or who's lives they may be messing up.
-learned that everyone is selfish sometimes. sometimes, i, like everyone else on earth, want compliments and attention. and that's normal, just as long as you don't get too driven for those things.
-mastered the art of working an 8 hour day on only 35 minutes of sleep, and operating at work with a blood alcohol content far exceding the legal limit. however, i don't wish to ever, ever, practice that skill ever, ever again.
-learned that while trying to adapt in order to relate to people IS important, make sure that it's an adaptation and not a complete personality change. like your parents have always told you: the good apples don't make the bad apples good, the bad apples make the good ones bad. enough said.
-have came to terms with myself. and by that i mean that i no longer have any kind of a self esteem issue. while thinking about how many girls hated me for no reason whatsoever, i began to notice that i too was guilty of secretly "hating" girls i didn't know. and when i started to look at the reasons why, jealously was all i could come up with. maybe one day girls will compliment other girls, instead of quietly envying them until it becomes senseless hatred. until then, i'm glad i have at least grasped that idea.
-learned that life is SO important. i am going to try to keep constantly reminding myself of this. Holly Reeb, you honestly influenced me so much. your life is like a standard that i want to try to live up to. this was such a wake up call to me that i really need to change some things around in my life before its too late. there's so much i could say about Holly, and about how she has made me make the first step to change, rather than to plan on changing at some point. but if you knew Holly whatsoever, i wouldn't have to tell you about it to make you understand
i always thought the saying "life is a dance, you learn as you go," was lame and unoriginal, but i don't think i know any other phrase that could better sum up the past three months for me. i've grown up a lot this summer. and the less i see of my old self, the happier i am. i know my dad is so proud of me right now.
summer of 2005 was amazing,
my only regret was not recording every minute detail in this pathetic journal so that i will never forget anything i learned this summer.
Shawn, is of course, amazing.
and nothing and no one is every going to get in the way of that. obviously.
also, i:
-got a lot of partying out of my system this year.
i have now had a sufficient number of drunken evenings/mornings to hold me over for quite some time. and i do now realize that i am not immune to the ignorance that comes with being drunk.
-learned to be careful of who you trust.
how cliche, but you never, never know when someone you think you can count on is going to turn around and stab you in the back, or in my case, the front. i also learned not to be too, too
trusting of people you don't know. for every person on earth who just wants to be honest and get along with people, there are 5 people who are only looking to get ahead, not worrying out whose toes they are stepping on or who's lives they may be messing up.
-learned that everyone is selfish sometimes. sometimes, i, like everyone else on earth, want compliments and attention. and that's normal, just as long as you don't get too driven for those things.
-mastered the art of working an 8 hour day on only 35 minutes of sleep, and operating at work with a blood alcohol content far exceding the legal limit. however, i don't wish to ever, ever, practice that skill ever, ever again.
-learned that while trying to adapt in order to relate to people IS important, make sure that it's an adaptation and not a complete personality change. like your parents have always told you: the good apples don't make the bad apples good, the bad apples make the good ones bad. enough said.
-have came to terms with myself. and by that i mean that i no longer have any kind of a self esteem issue. while thinking about how many girls hated me for no reason whatsoever, i began to notice that i too was guilty of secretly "hating" girls i didn't know. and when i started to look at the reasons why, jealously was all i could come up with. maybe one day girls will compliment other girls, instead of quietly envying them until it becomes senseless hatred. until then, i'm glad i have at least grasped that idea.
-learned that life is SO important. i am going to try to keep constantly reminding myself of this. Holly Reeb, you honestly influenced me so much. your life is like a standard that i want to try to live up to. this was such a wake up call to me that i really need to change some things around in my life before its too late. there's so much i could say about Holly, and about how she has made me make the first step to change, rather than to plan on changing at some point. but if you knew Holly whatsoever, i wouldn't have to tell you about it to make you understand
i always thought the saying "life is a dance, you learn as you go," was lame and unoriginal, but i don't think i know any other phrase that could better sum up the past three months for me. i've grown up a lot this summer. and the less i see of my old self, the happier i am. i know my dad is so proud of me right now.