anything after twenty-five isn't bizarre, it's immature
still incredibly anxious for university. didn't get the accommodation i wanted. am in self catering with only girls. gah, tis will be elmslie all over. have nothing prepared...symptom of me burying my head in the sand again.
just watched *second generation* on channel four. was weird, i twas like looking in a mirror at my family. bengali families are all the same. pft, even my father agreed and that's saying something considering his streak in conceit.
last week saw some of my friends. when you're not around them, you forget how much you will actually miss their company, even if you weren't that close.
money has appeared in my account that strictly speaking, doesn't belong to me, either way, i feel indebted to one and all. plus there's guilt. but ehy oh why is it so easy to spend on a card.
i'll miss my parents when i go. i can't believe what an awful daughter i've been over the past few years. i spend most of my time with my father. he speaks sense. wasted sense upon my ears though.
*laughs* i think my parents might just go insane left to each other's company. not that i have a positive effect on them anyways.
god, i love the intro to this song. i really wish that i could play at least one instrument proficiently. i'm such a fickle person, i was listening to the last nights of the proms the other night, and when i heard "prince igor" i was determined that i would renew my interest in classical music, but then i hear jazz and i'm swept away by it's randomness...i wish i could play the piano well enough to improvise and just allow the notes to flow. i miss playing the piano, it was one of the rare things that i enjoyed and was actually fairly good at. i don't know why i suddenly stopped liking music at one point, i horrify myself.
ah shit, i've ripped off my cuticles again. the skin has peeled away from the edges of my nails to expose the flesh and it hurts like hell. i have lovely fingers whenever there is a holiday, the moment i hear academia mentioned and i start picking at them till they bleed. ugh.
my words aren't flowing, everything's too abrupt and stilted. i can't get my thoughts to flow. flow damn you!
just watched *second generation* on channel four. was weird, i twas like looking in a mirror at my family. bengali families are all the same. pft, even my father agreed and that's saying something considering his streak in conceit.
last week saw some of my friends. when you're not around them, you forget how much you will actually miss their company, even if you weren't that close.
money has appeared in my account that strictly speaking, doesn't belong to me, either way, i feel indebted to one and all. plus there's guilt. but ehy oh why is it so easy to spend on a card.
i'll miss my parents when i go. i can't believe what an awful daughter i've been over the past few years. i spend most of my time with my father. he speaks sense. wasted sense upon my ears though.
*laughs* i think my parents might just go insane left to each other's company. not that i have a positive effect on them anyways.
god, i love the intro to this song. i really wish that i could play at least one instrument proficiently. i'm such a fickle person, i was listening to the last nights of the proms the other night, and when i heard "prince igor" i was determined that i would renew my interest in classical music, but then i hear jazz and i'm swept away by it's randomness...i wish i could play the piano well enough to improvise and just allow the notes to flow. i miss playing the piano, it was one of the rare things that i enjoyed and was actually fairly good at. i don't know why i suddenly stopped liking music at one point, i horrify myself.
ah shit, i've ripped off my cuticles again. the skin has peeled away from the edges of my nails to expose the flesh and it hurts like hell. i have lovely fingers whenever there is a holiday, the moment i hear academia mentioned and i start picking at them till they bleed. ugh.
my words aren't flowing, everything's too abrupt and stilted. i can't get my thoughts to flow. flow damn you!