Just because I'm uber bored...
Only the mexicans and ppl who really know about Mexico will get this. Vann, I know you're gonna have a good laugh reading this. Here we go:
You Know You're Mexican When...
- You have ever been hit by a chancla. HAHAHAHAHA, true!
- You grew up scared by something called "El Cucuy." (It's "El Coco")
- Others tell you to stop screaming when you are really just talking.
- You light a candle on the night of the Lotto drawing.
- You use your lips to point something out.
- You constantly refer to cereal as "con fleis".
- Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner even if it's a one bedroom apartment.
- You can dance ranchera, cumbia or salsa without music.
- You use "manteca" (lard) instead of olive oil and can't figure out why your butt is getting bigger.
- You call your sneakers "tenees".
- You have at least thirty cousins.
- You can't imagine anyone not liking spicy food. Exactly!!
- You are in a 5-passenger car with 7 people in it and a person shouting "subanse, todavia caben".
- Whenever you feel under the weather, you compulsively dab on some "Vics" vapor rub all over your chest and inside your nostrils.
- Your mom packs your "lonchera" everyday.
- You or someone you know uses "Tres Flores" in their hair.
- Tamales, champurrado, posole and menudo are must haves on Thanksgiving.
- There is more Budweiser than punch at little Juanito's birthday party.
- There is at least one member in your family name Maria, Guadalupe, Juan, Jose, or Jesus.
- Everyone still thinks Cesar Chavez is the best boxer even if he lost against Oscar De La Hoya.
- You've gone to the Pulgamarket every weekend for years.
- You step into a house that has all those little figurines taking up every inch of space on/under the TV.
- You have a porcelain cat, dog, Buddha, or elephant in your living room.
- You have plastic slipcovers on your sofas.
- You swear "Choco Mil" is the same as Slim Fast and try to lose weight by drinking it.
- You have a drunk uncle/aunt.
- You're still afraid to open that umbrella in your house. HAHAHAHA!! SO true!!
- You not only know who Don Francisco from Sabado Gigante is, but you tell people he's your tio.
- Your mother, tia or hermana's hair is blackcherry, "Sun in" red or a burgundy that would make Celia Cruz jealous.
- You always try to find out what town another fellow Latino's family is from.
- You have ever had to "beepiar" a friend on their pager.
- You wear your Sunday best to do laundry at the laundrymat and go grocery shopping.
- You have told your kid not to walk the floor barefoot or they'll catch a cold.
- You go to a wedding or Quiencienera, gossip about how bad the comida is, but be the first to take a plato to go.
- You have a bottle of Tapatio in your purse.
- Your cousins are delinquents / hootchies.
- You have a chola in your barrio named "La Flaca" who's bigger than a house.
- You think Cristina trumps Oprah any day.
- You have a cousin named "Guero" who's darker than night.
- You know a chola named "La Shy Girl" who is loud and obnoxious.
- You need to point out how much something you just bought cost.
- You go to a white friends house for dinner and don't understand the concept of sitting at a table.
- You've tried to bring a mango back to the US from Mexico, and a bonus point if you actually made it all the way home with it.
- You have a bottle of Bacardi or Tequila in your house right now.
- You drive a "Cheby", an "Ohsmobeel" or a "Bolswahgon"