Say I Love U / Chapter 11
Soft.
The first word that came to mind the moment Changmin’s lips touched hers was soft. Yoona didn’t know what else to think when he’d put her in this position - wrapped in his arms and kissing her sincerely that it took the very breath in her lungs away. His mouth closed over hers gently, breathing life into her limbs with a tingling sensation that bit warmth into her senses.
He’s… really good at this, Yoona thought to herself as her arms unconsciously tightened around his shoulders and she responded into the kiss. His own arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer and she knew-I should push him away from me.
In the back of her mind, she knew she should. But somehow no strength came to her to take a step back. The kiss he’d given her was so gentle, so sweet… so good. How could she stop something that felt wonderful?
Because this is not for real. Her heart ached at the thought, knowing it was the absolute truth. It hurt knowing it was this way, and for a moment she wondered if she was hurt because she wanted it to be real.
He’s just kissing you to prove a point to everyone. The ill-spirited side of herself poked at her incessantly. He’s not holding you because he wants to. He’s just doing his part. He’s just-
But it felt so right. His warm hands held her just close enough at the small of her back, anchoring her against him as their lips responded to each other in a way that blurred the lines of real and pretend. It was kiss that gnawed at her senses, spilling hunger into her limbs. A kiss that evoked emotions she hadn’t felt as intensely with… anyone before Changmin and yet,
This is just pretend.
Changmin pulled away from her suddenly. Their lips separating slowly as he drew back to look at her opening her eyes in a daze. Yoona’s brow wrinkled in confusion for a moment as she regained focus and her vision, staring back at the dark depths of Changmin’s eyes.
“Changmin?” she murmured uncertainly, vaguely disappointed as he gently pushed her back away from him. Her arms still draped lazily over his shoulders and he gave her a smile in response before stepping further away with still one hand wrapped around the curve of her waist.
He cocked his head to the side, smirking a little at her still mystified expression. His eyes spoke to her in volumes ringing in her ear, teasing her and it was then she finally took that moment to take a look around her. Her cheeks flushed pink when she realized that the music had stopped and that they were the only couple left on the dance floor.
Thankfully no one else was paying them much attention. That is except for a couple of people.
Yoona raised her eyes to meet her father’s amused grin, coupled alongside with Hyoyeon and Eunhyuk’s catcalling, Jessica’s soft smile and Donghae’s…
She frowned at the hard gaze her ex-boyfriend sent her way and immediately drew her eyes elsewhere. She’d seen that look before. It was one Donghae would give to anything or anyone that crossed him and for once she found that his usually mild-mannered temper was completely misguided.
Why would he look at me like that? Yoona thought, frowning to herself. He’d already made it perfectly clear that he doesn’t love me anymore. Why should he care if another man kissed me senseless just now?
Her cheeks flushed red at the last thought, glancing back at the man holding her close by her torso. She couldn’t have helped it even if she tried not to look at Changmin’s lips because those soft slips of flesh still made her feel them on hers. She flushed further when he turned towards her again and cocked an eyebrow in question, half in amusement and curiosity.
Somehow she regretted ever making their arrangement in the first place. If she had known that things would progress this way, she might not have even talked to him at all.
Someone in the room coughed somewhere and with a steady grace that surprised her herself, Yoona placed a light but showy kiss on Changmin’s cheek before pulling him with her out of the dance floor.
They needed to talk about this new clause of the arrangement. Physical affection had never been brought up before and now was as good as any time to bring the subject to light.
“Going up for some air, Yoong?” Hyoyeon sing-songed cutely, wiggling her eyebrows as the couple slowly began to walk past. Her grin widened further when both Yoona and Changmin rolled their eyes at her but said nothing, continuing along their way towards the staircase with her best friend’s pretend boyfriend’s hand still pressed closely against her torso.
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” she called after them, laughing aloud.
She hardly cared when her group fell quiet, staring at her in surprise. But she did notice how the couple ahead of her stiffened considerably, eyes wide in shock as they looked back at her with unabashed annoyance.
Whoops! Hyoyeon blinked and then quickly realized her words, sprouting apologetic words at an alarmed Mr. Im beside her.
“I’m sorry, Daddy Im! You know Yoona would never let anything happen before marriage, right?” she declared loudly, shooing her bestfriend and ‘her boy’ to their business as she rallied herself in front of the concerned father.
Sometimes Yoona really hated her best friend.
“Kim Hyoyeon, I swear I am going to-”
Glare.
“Hyo, you are not helping-”
“Hon, this isn’t the time to be-”
“Be quiet all of you, it’s alright.” Mr. Im declared suddenly with a smile, his hand raised good-naturedly to keep the younger generation in line. He took in their similar looks of awe and shrugged. “I trust my daughter, of course, and Changmin.”
“Really?!” Hyoyeon squealed, clasping her hands together.
Mr. Im nodded, waving slightly at Changmin and Yoona’s mutually wide-eyed stares before motioning for someone to turn his wheelchair away.
“Really.” He affirmed as he was wheeled away, leaving them all still slack-jawed in his wake.
“Well, it looks like you got the all-clear, Shim!” Eunhyuk said, grinning slyly at the taller male. Changmin flushed and grunted at his words, turning his head towards Yoona for-any confirmation that one just transpired was real and not… imaginary.
“I’m surprised myself,” she muttered lamely, still shocked at these turn of events.
Yoona saw Donghae throw a concerned look at her from her peripheral vision and her heart gave way for him again. She straightened at this and turned her head, catching Changmin’s eyes. His long fingers pressed against her waist in question and she tilted her head, her voice clear and intimate (loud enough, really, for Donghae to lower his eyes and his lips to press tight in a line).
She didn’t care at this point if she was stepping over bounds of the agreement (they were going to talk about it anyway) and pressed another light kiss on Changmin’s cheek.
“Let’s go upstairs, Changmin.”
Changmin was going to die.
He felt it in his bones as Yoona led him down the darkened second floor hallway of her home. In movies, jackasses were always killed in dark places first and he knew for a fact that he was the biggest one at the moment.
For a second (as he was afraid for his life), Changmin regretted kissing her. But as quickly as the thought had entered his mind, it quickly vanished when stars came into view and he stepped out into a wide veranda overlooking the Im’s gorgeous estate.
It was a beautiful night, calm and cool and glittering under the stars’ shine.
Changmin let his arm fall as Yoona drifted away from him, watching the night sky above. She walked over to the railing, her hands touching the border just so before turning her head to look back at him. Her hair fell in waves over her shoulder, her opalescent skin shining under the moonlight…
His chest heaved as he took steps forward, closer to her.
It was a damn beautiful night, alright.
“How could you kiss me like that?” was the first question that slipped from her lips the second he was close enough to hear.
The look in her eyes was almost panicked-and it made him feel uncomfortable. He didn’t want to her paranoid of him. It was the last reaction he wanted from her.
“We didn’t even talk about this and then you go kissing me as if-”
He thought about responding. And his mouth almost opened at the prospect before he caught himself in the act again. Wanting to speak twice in one night was a record for him, and it made him even more uncomfortable than before.
This woman is trouble, his mind reaffirmed disdainfully and he agreed.
He decided on putting his hands in his pocket instead.
Yoona noticed this and barreled on, shivering a little bit at the cold wind picking up around them.
“Well, aren’t you going to explain your-oh, why did you leave the iPad in the room anyway?!”
All she got for a response was a raised eyebrow and she bristled derisively, folding her arms across her chest. “Fine, we were dancing so of course you have to leave it on the table but-” Her eyes widened at the grin forming on his lips and she pushed at his shoulder in an attempt to scold him, “Why are you laughing?!”
Changmin doubled over, his shoulders shaking as he kept the sound of his laughter in. He couldn’t help it-the panicked look he thought she had on her face earlier was completely gone now and was replaced instead by an angry expression that was more cute than threatening.
He had to laugh. Yoona was trouble, yes, but she was entertaining.
She slapped him over the shoulder again. “This is not funny, Changmin. I should kick you but I don’t want to ruin this dress and-”
Yoona stopped as their eyes met, his electrifying gaze paralyzing her almost instantaneously as he calmed his laughter and grinned. She shivered again, not from the cold but from the look he threw her way and her hands dropped to her sides.
“What?” she asked, her tone suddenly soft as he removed his jacket. His eyes never left hers and she might not have even noticed him moving if he hadn’t placed the garment heavily onto her shoulders, encasing her warmly from the cold night air.
Changmin rubbed heat with his hands over her cloaked shoulders, smiling softly at her as she stared and her heart thumped-once, twice but heavily-in her chest.
Yoona lowered her eyes from his with great difficulty. “Don’t… don’t look at me like that.”
His only reply was a warm breath (a sigh, a “Sorry”) hitting her forehead.
“Can we agree that the next time you decide to kiss me, you should at least signal first?” she started, turning this time and wrapping herself deeper into his suit jacket. It smelled like him, dark and masculine. It was oddly comforting. “A brush on the cheek or a wink would do. Just don’t surprise me next time.”
She cleared her throat. “And by n-next time, I mean only for emergencies like earlier. I was about to sob, remember? So you kissed me to cover it up?”
Yoona heard him move rather than saw him, her hand tingling at the light brush of his hand next to hers on the railing. Her heart heaved again as his fingers traced over hers.
“That’s the reason why you kissed me, right?”
Changmin thought he might have answered her if he wasn’t so guarded. He might have pronounced words he wanted to say aloud if he would just let himself heal. He might have told her that he kissed her for entirely different reasons (curiosity, loyalty, jealousy, love) than those she’d suggested if only he was brave enough to do so.
But he wasn’t brave. Not yet anyway, or anymore. I don’t know.
He thought of his sisters, his adoptive parents, his half-sister Jessica, his mother-and his throat closed up again.
“Changmin?”
He wrapped an arm around her and nodded, pulling her into a side hug she eventually relaxed into after a few seconds processing his response to her question.
“Okay, good. I just don’t want to complicate things.”
Changmin smiled at this and nodded again, even though in his mind he knew it was already complicated right from the start.
She didn’t need to know that yet though.
He listened to her mention something about the stars being unusually bright that night and quietly breathed her in. Their hearts beating in time as they stood side by side.
Not yet.
Author's Note: This chapter ends the welcome home party for Mr. Im and starts the drama & love-square between Yoona, Changmin, Jessica and Donghae. :))) Sorry it took me so long to post this one. Anyway, at least it's here now! Thank the fact that my ninja OTP showed themselves to me last night in a certain SMTOWN photoshoot. Let me know what you think of this chapter! <3
The first word that came to mind the moment Changmin’s lips touched hers was soft. Yoona didn’t know what else to think when he’d put her in this position - wrapped in his arms and kissing her sincerely that it took the very breath in her lungs away. His mouth closed over hers gently, breathing life into her limbs with a tingling sensation that bit warmth into her senses.
He’s… really good at this, Yoona thought to herself as her arms unconsciously tightened around his shoulders and she responded into the kiss. His own arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer and she knew-I should push him away from me.
In the back of her mind, she knew she should. But somehow no strength came to her to take a step back. The kiss he’d given her was so gentle, so sweet… so good. How could she stop something that felt wonderful?
Because this is not for real. Her heart ached at the thought, knowing it was the absolute truth. It hurt knowing it was this way, and for a moment she wondered if she was hurt because she wanted it to be real.
He’s just kissing you to prove a point to everyone. The ill-spirited side of herself poked at her incessantly. He’s not holding you because he wants to. He’s just doing his part. He’s just-
But it felt so right. His warm hands held her just close enough at the small of her back, anchoring her against him as their lips responded to each other in a way that blurred the lines of real and pretend. It was kiss that gnawed at her senses, spilling hunger into her limbs. A kiss that evoked emotions she hadn’t felt as intensely with… anyone before Changmin and yet,
This is just pretend.
Changmin pulled away from her suddenly. Their lips separating slowly as he drew back to look at her opening her eyes in a daze. Yoona’s brow wrinkled in confusion for a moment as she regained focus and her vision, staring back at the dark depths of Changmin’s eyes.
“Changmin?” she murmured uncertainly, vaguely disappointed as he gently pushed her back away from him. Her arms still draped lazily over his shoulders and he gave her a smile in response before stepping further away with still one hand wrapped around the curve of her waist.
He cocked his head to the side, smirking a little at her still mystified expression. His eyes spoke to her in volumes ringing in her ear, teasing her and it was then she finally took that moment to take a look around her. Her cheeks flushed pink when she realized that the music had stopped and that they were the only couple left on the dance floor.
Thankfully no one else was paying them much attention. That is except for a couple of people.
Yoona raised her eyes to meet her father’s amused grin, coupled alongside with Hyoyeon and Eunhyuk’s catcalling, Jessica’s soft smile and Donghae’s…
She frowned at the hard gaze her ex-boyfriend sent her way and immediately drew her eyes elsewhere. She’d seen that look before. It was one Donghae would give to anything or anyone that crossed him and for once she found that his usually mild-mannered temper was completely misguided.
Why would he look at me like that? Yoona thought, frowning to herself. He’d already made it perfectly clear that he doesn’t love me anymore. Why should he care if another man kissed me senseless just now?
Her cheeks flushed red at the last thought, glancing back at the man holding her close by her torso. She couldn’t have helped it even if she tried not to look at Changmin’s lips because those soft slips of flesh still made her feel them on hers. She flushed further when he turned towards her again and cocked an eyebrow in question, half in amusement and curiosity.
Somehow she regretted ever making their arrangement in the first place. If she had known that things would progress this way, she might not have even talked to him at all.
Someone in the room coughed somewhere and with a steady grace that surprised her herself, Yoona placed a light but showy kiss on Changmin’s cheek before pulling him with her out of the dance floor.
They needed to talk about this new clause of the arrangement. Physical affection had never been brought up before and now was as good as any time to bring the subject to light.
“Going up for some air, Yoong?” Hyoyeon sing-songed cutely, wiggling her eyebrows as the couple slowly began to walk past. Her grin widened further when both Yoona and Changmin rolled their eyes at her but said nothing, continuing along their way towards the staircase with her best friend’s pretend boyfriend’s hand still pressed closely against her torso.
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” she called after them, laughing aloud.
She hardly cared when her group fell quiet, staring at her in surprise. But she did notice how the couple ahead of her stiffened considerably, eyes wide in shock as they looked back at her with unabashed annoyance.
Whoops! Hyoyeon blinked and then quickly realized her words, sprouting apologetic words at an alarmed Mr. Im beside her.
“I’m sorry, Daddy Im! You know Yoona would never let anything happen before marriage, right?” she declared loudly, shooing her bestfriend and ‘her boy’ to their business as she rallied herself in front of the concerned father.
Sometimes Yoona really hated her best friend.
“Kim Hyoyeon, I swear I am going to-”
Glare.
“Hyo, you are not helping-”
“Hon, this isn’t the time to be-”
“Be quiet all of you, it’s alright.” Mr. Im declared suddenly with a smile, his hand raised good-naturedly to keep the younger generation in line. He took in their similar looks of awe and shrugged. “I trust my daughter, of course, and Changmin.”
“Really?!” Hyoyeon squealed, clasping her hands together.
Mr. Im nodded, waving slightly at Changmin and Yoona’s mutually wide-eyed stares before motioning for someone to turn his wheelchair away.
“Really.” He affirmed as he was wheeled away, leaving them all still slack-jawed in his wake.
“Well, it looks like you got the all-clear, Shim!” Eunhyuk said, grinning slyly at the taller male. Changmin flushed and grunted at his words, turning his head towards Yoona for-any confirmation that one just transpired was real and not… imaginary.
“I’m surprised myself,” she muttered lamely, still shocked at these turn of events.
Yoona saw Donghae throw a concerned look at her from her peripheral vision and her heart gave way for him again. She straightened at this and turned her head, catching Changmin’s eyes. His long fingers pressed against her waist in question and she tilted her head, her voice clear and intimate (loud enough, really, for Donghae to lower his eyes and his lips to press tight in a line).
She didn’t care at this point if she was stepping over bounds of the agreement (they were going to talk about it anyway) and pressed another light kiss on Changmin’s cheek.
“Let’s go upstairs, Changmin.”
Changmin was going to die.
He felt it in his bones as Yoona led him down the darkened second floor hallway of her home. In movies, jackasses were always killed in dark places first and he knew for a fact that he was the biggest one at the moment.
For a second (as he was afraid for his life), Changmin regretted kissing her. But as quickly as the thought had entered his mind, it quickly vanished when stars came into view and he stepped out into a wide veranda overlooking the Im’s gorgeous estate.
It was a beautiful night, calm and cool and glittering under the stars’ shine.
Changmin let his arm fall as Yoona drifted away from him, watching the night sky above. She walked over to the railing, her hands touching the border just so before turning her head to look back at him. Her hair fell in waves over her shoulder, her opalescent skin shining under the moonlight…
His chest heaved as he took steps forward, closer to her.
It was a damn beautiful night, alright.
“How could you kiss me like that?” was the first question that slipped from her lips the second he was close enough to hear.
The look in her eyes was almost panicked-and it made him feel uncomfortable. He didn’t want to her paranoid of him. It was the last reaction he wanted from her.
“We didn’t even talk about this and then you go kissing me as if-”
He thought about responding. And his mouth almost opened at the prospect before he caught himself in the act again. Wanting to speak twice in one night was a record for him, and it made him even more uncomfortable than before.
This woman is trouble, his mind reaffirmed disdainfully and he agreed.
He decided on putting his hands in his pocket instead.
Yoona noticed this and barreled on, shivering a little bit at the cold wind picking up around them.
“Well, aren’t you going to explain your-oh, why did you leave the iPad in the room anyway?!”
All she got for a response was a raised eyebrow and she bristled derisively, folding her arms across her chest. “Fine, we were dancing so of course you have to leave it on the table but-” Her eyes widened at the grin forming on his lips and she pushed at his shoulder in an attempt to scold him, “Why are you laughing?!”
Changmin doubled over, his shoulders shaking as he kept the sound of his laughter in. He couldn’t help it-the panicked look he thought she had on her face earlier was completely gone now and was replaced instead by an angry expression that was more cute than threatening.
He had to laugh. Yoona was trouble, yes, but she was entertaining.
She slapped him over the shoulder again. “This is not funny, Changmin. I should kick you but I don’t want to ruin this dress and-”
Yoona stopped as their eyes met, his electrifying gaze paralyzing her almost instantaneously as he calmed his laughter and grinned. She shivered again, not from the cold but from the look he threw her way and her hands dropped to her sides.
“What?” she asked, her tone suddenly soft as he removed his jacket. His eyes never left hers and she might not have even noticed him moving if he hadn’t placed the garment heavily onto her shoulders, encasing her warmly from the cold night air.
Changmin rubbed heat with his hands over her cloaked shoulders, smiling softly at her as she stared and her heart thumped-once, twice but heavily-in her chest.
Yoona lowered her eyes from his with great difficulty. “Don’t… don’t look at me like that.”
His only reply was a warm breath (a sigh, a “Sorry”) hitting her forehead.
“Can we agree that the next time you decide to kiss me, you should at least signal first?” she started, turning this time and wrapping herself deeper into his suit jacket. It smelled like him, dark and masculine. It was oddly comforting. “A brush on the cheek or a wink would do. Just don’t surprise me next time.”
She cleared her throat. “And by n-next time, I mean only for emergencies like earlier. I was about to sob, remember? So you kissed me to cover it up?”
Yoona heard him move rather than saw him, her hand tingling at the light brush of his hand next to hers on the railing. Her heart heaved again as his fingers traced over hers.
“That’s the reason why you kissed me, right?”
Changmin thought he might have answered her if he wasn’t so guarded. He might have pronounced words he wanted to say aloud if he would just let himself heal. He might have told her that he kissed her for entirely different reasons (curiosity, loyalty, jealousy, love) than those she’d suggested if only he was brave enough to do so.
But he wasn’t brave. Not yet anyway, or anymore. I don’t know.
He thought of his sisters, his adoptive parents, his half-sister Jessica, his mother-and his throat closed up again.
“Changmin?”
He wrapped an arm around her and nodded, pulling her into a side hug she eventually relaxed into after a few seconds processing his response to her question.
“Okay, good. I just don’t want to complicate things.”
Changmin smiled at this and nodded again, even though in his mind he knew it was already complicated right from the start.
She didn’t need to know that yet though.
He listened to her mention something about the stars being unusually bright that night and quietly breathed her in. Their hearts beating in time as they stood side by side.
Not yet.
Author's Note: This chapter ends the welcome home party for Mr. Im and starts the drama & love-square between Yoona, Changmin, Jessica and Donghae. :))) Sorry it took me so long to post this one. Anyway, at least it's here now! Thank the fact that my ninja OTP showed themselves to me last night in a certain SMTOWN photoshoot. Let me know what you think of this chapter! <3