/A Perfect Day for A Love Declaration/ Day Eighteen
a perfect day for a love declaration
day eighteen ★ when hearts are broken
There was an incessant knocking on my door that woke me up from my already too light sleep. And because my arms were still sore, and my back hurt, I took my time to sit up on my couch. I never made it to my bed last night, after all the meetings my father forced on me after the trip in Jeju.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't almost thank my father for the work he gave me, since I had been dying to get away from Yoona and everyone else. Being holed up in a conference room and talking to clients for the past two days gave me a chance to relax and pull myself together again.
Leaning forward, I saw my reflection on my glass table. I didn't look as bruised as I did the day after the trip, but you could still see them if you looked close enough. The ring hung low on my chest, glinting in the sunlight that peeked through the curtains -- I reached up to touch it slightly and frowned; suddenly remembering how Yoona looked at me when I let her boyfriend beat the hell out of me. She looked so... disappointed.
I sighed. Coward, I scolded myself, you're a loser. I'd look at you that way too if I were in her position.
But the knocking hadn't stopped yet. Maybe whoever it is knocking will leave if I ignore it long enough, the thought flashed through my mind, but I knew better. I groaned inwardly, burying my head under the arms, trying to shut out the noise.
"Well, considering my luck these days -- it could be Yuri telling me to elope with her." I muttered, glancing briefly at the door in disdain.
Rubbing my eyes in frustration, I stood up as slowly as I could towards the door. Sure enough it was Yuri at the door, her hands carrying food and smiling up to me. "Good morning! I have sustenance!"
"Why are you here so early, Yuri? You usually bother me after breakfast." I said, keeping my tone as casual as I could. She could hear the sarcasm in my voice, I could tell by the way her eyes clouded over for a moment -- but Yuri didn't pay any attention to it. Instead she bounced inside the room, towards the table and bringing out the food.
"Come on, sit down and eat some breakfast." She said, flipping her hair and smiling at me. With one hand, she pulled me into the living room and I began to feel uneasy. Yuri was being too cheerful; isn't it that too much is a sign of something gone wrong. And by the way she held my arm, firm and strong -- almost not letting go, only made me worry.
She started to talk about what she was going to do that day, making big, hand gestures and smiling widely. Something about it -- her smile -- put me off. I sighed, setting down my plate and staring at her, waiting for her to stop so I could speak.
But that didn't seem to be happening anytime soon.
"Then I was thinking of going to the nail salon with Sooyoung or Yeonhee-unni. Should I get my nails done? Would it be okay before the wedding? I don't know but anyway-"
"What are you doing here?" I interrupted, this time my tone serious. I sat down across from her, watching her movements. "Did you have something to tell me?"
Yuri stopped faking her smile and set aside her plate, before looking up to me with an expression I couldn't pinpoint. "Well... I was thinking..." She fidgeted in her seat, biting her upper lip nervously.
Yuri stood up, stepping closer before kneeling in front of me. "What are you doing?" I asked, but she shook her head and shushed me. I held my breath at whatever she was about to say.
"Changmin-oppa... I think we should elope."
- - -
"Three buffet tables are going to be at that side, alright? Put them at equal distances from each other so that they won't crowd the flower arrangements. Go ask Jaejoong about how much-"
The waiter I was instructing looked at me, alarmed (maybe even a little bit worried), since I must have looked exhausted and disgruntled. I really was -- Yuri and Changmin's wedding was in three days... and I was working myself to the very edge of my sanity.
"You're working too hard, kid." Kibum said, nudging me with his shoulder. I tried to ignore him, scribbling furiously down on my note and finishing my instructions before quickly turning and walking away. He caught up with me and pulled me by the arm.
"Kim Kibum! Let go of my arm! What are you doing?!" I exclaimed, pulling free from his grasp. I rubbed my wrist, glaring at him, and in return, he glared back -- shaking his head in disdain. I leaned back against a wall and sighed, rubbing my forehead with my fingers. "Just say it. Geez."
"What the heck are you doing, Yoona? I thought you've 'moved on' already. What happened that seems to have made you change your mind?" He said, wringing his hands out in front of me. He paced around, still shaking his head. "God, the drama between the two of you is infuriating."
"Nothing's changed, Kibum. I'm just doing my job."
He scoffed. "Right. So I guess barking at every one of our workers with orders is part of your way of building a good working atmosphere, huh?" Kibum sighed, moving closer to me. "Come on, Yoong. Just tell me already. I'm your friend too."
He reached out to pat my head but I avoided it. The ill feelings surged, and I just couldn't keep it in any longer--
--"Changmin kept the ring. Why the hell did he keep that ring?"
Kibum was silent as I stared at him. Not that I could blame him. I couldn't blame anyone, not even Changmin. I sank down to the floor, heaving a heavy sigh -- covering my eyes with my hands, keeping the tears in that was threatening to fall down.
"I was fine with all of this up until that night. I had already managed to keep everything that I feel for him locked away, and I was going to begin again with a new man in my life. But I'm right back to where I started after seeing one ring."
"It's not even the kind of expensive ring, you know. It's just a simple silver band, hardly worth anything. But to me... to me, it means the world." I whispered, my voice nearly choking at the end. I felt Kibum take a seat next to me, and his arm wrapping around my shoulders, taking me in a small hug. "I still... feel the same way, even after everything that's happened. And I'm not supposed to anymore because..."
"Because?"
"Yuri loves him too."-"What?" I waved him off, shaking my head. "That doesn't matter, Kibum. The point is..." I trailed off.
"... I'm better off without him... right?" I looked at Kibum, willing him to give me an answer to my troubles but all he could muster as a reply was a resigned and defeated look on his face as well.
I sighed, shaking my head. "Yeah, I know. It's screwed up."
"It is screwed up." Donghae's voice said, and I looked up to see him standing over us with a tight smile on his face. Kibum and I stood up quickly, brushing ourselves off. Had he heard everything I had just said? I wondered, biting my lip.
I smiled politely at her. "Hi, Donghae." I greeted, keeping my voice light. He managed a small smile back, but didn't bother to look me in the eye. Nervousness began to creep in and I added, "What are you doing here? I thought you said you were going to pick me up later."
"Yeah, but I need to talk to you now," He said nonchalantly, before turning on his heel and walking towards the exit. I glanced at Kibum for a moment, confused at what I should do but he could only shrug in response.
"I think maybe you should talk to him."
I nodded. Taking a deep breath and an anxious step forward, I followed Donghae...
- - -
"I think we should elope."
"WHAT?"
I stood up so quickly, I felt the muscle on my sore back stretch. I winced, the pain shooting up my spine. Yuri tried to help me back to my seat but I didn't let her touch me. She sat back on her seat on the floor and looked up at me helplessly.
"What are you talking about, Yuri? Are you kidding? Because it's not funny." I said, leaning back against a wall and groaning.
"I'm not making a joke, oppa. I'm serious. Let's just go somewhere and elope. We'll get out of here and away from everyone." Yuri's face was hopeful as she stood up and walked towards me. "We could start over with our lives without having to bother with people who don't care..."
She stood in front of me now, her hands on her sides. "You don't want to have your life dictated by your father, right? And... you don't want to feel sad anymore." Yuri lifted her hands and put them on my shoulders. They were warm. "I could make you happy."
I bowed my head. Somehow, I knew where this was going. Yuri's voice spoke again. "Yoona's already happy with Donghae."
"Yuri." I said, turning away. "We'll be married in three days. Can't you wait till then?"
"I can't." she said, her voice breaking. I sighed.
"Why not?"
"Because I like you, oppa --" She stopped short when I turned to look at her again. The tears that weren't there in her eyes before, started to fall down.
Yuri continued in between tears, "And you love Yoona. But she doesn't love you anymore! You won't get her back. I give you my heart; all I ask is for you to give me yours. Please don't say no..."
Silence filled the air for a few moments. I let her cry but I didn't touch her. Instead, I thought about her proposal. The words she spoke were true -- one way or another. I might never get Yoona back, but at the same time I couldn't pretend that I didn't want to try.
"Oppa..." -- "You're my little sister. And didn't you tell me once that you'd help me?"
Yuri looked flustered; surprised I had asked and began to babble incoherently. I sighed, calming her down with a pat on the head. "It's alright."
"Changmin... I..." she looked embarrassed, "I don't want to be left alone."
No one does, I thought, pulling her into a light hug. "Elopement is out of the question, because we'll be married in three days. You won't be alone."
She shook her head, taking a step back. "But I like you, oppa. This complicates things... I can't have my future husband not love me."
"I'm sorry, Yuri." I said, patting her head once again. "I can't give you that. Not only because I can't, but because I won't."
My fingers wrapped around the ring, and I held it up to show Yuri. She looked at it, her eyes sad... understanding.
"My heart is hers. You know that more than anyone."
- - -
"Donghae? What is this about?" I was tentative to ask, but we've been quiet for 15-minutes, sitting on a bench outside the reception hall for Yuri's wedding that it was starting to make me nervous.
Donghae was wearing an oddly relaxed expression on his face -- staring off into space, while I fidgeted anxiously beside him. I bit my lip, sighing heavily before nudging him with an elbow. "Hey? Is something wrong?"
He turned to me slowly. "I want to break up." He said simply, that calm expression still on his face. I stared at him, shocked with my eyes widening -- "What?"
"I want to break up." Donghae repeated, this time seriously, "I don't think I should be with someone who doesn't love me the same way I do for her..." He shook his head, a forced smile lining his lips as he continued. "Admit, Yoong -- I never came close to what you felt for Changmin."
I shook my head, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. "You've got it all wrong. I do love you, Donghae. I do."
"But?" He supplied, removing his hand from my grasp before putting it back on top of mine. I studied his expression before lowering my head to study his hand on mine. He's right, I scolded myself, feeling guilty. If I really loved him, I would stop him from doing this... but--
"I'm sorry." I said finally, my voice breaking as I did so. "I never meant to hurt you this way."
"Don't be sorry. Shh." Donghae said, pulling me into a hug, "I'm still your friend, Yoona. And I'll get over you and meet someone way hotter. Don't be sorry. I'll be okay, and you'll be jealous." He stuck his tongue out, teasing me and I laughed despite myself.
I smiled, wiping away a tear and smacking him lightly on the shoulder. "I hate how optimistic you are. But you're right. I don't deserve you, but someone so much better will come soon I'm sure."
He smiled back, planting a soft kiss on the top my head. "He deserves you, you know. Changmin." I stayed still. "He could have beaten me up if he wanted to in Jeju, but he didn't because we were together and he respected that."
"He loves you, obviously. The same way you still love him."
The tears I didn't know I was holding in finally came falling down. I sniffled, shaking slightly. "Oh Donghae..." I shook my head and he pulled me in a tighter hug, "I do love him. But..."
"He's getting married in three days."
Donghae sighed. "I know."
"I know."
[*][*][*]
/We... broke up. Donghae and I./
/Oh, Yoona... I'm sorry. Are you alright?/
/Yes. I'm fine. I was expecting it somehow. I just didn't think it would happen so quickly./
/You know what they say, "Time flies when you're having fun." Except, breaking up is never fun./
/You're right... anyway, why did you call, Yuri? Is anything wrong with the arrangements?/
/No, everything's fine except for one thing... if it were gone, things will be perfect./
/Oh, really? What is it? Maybe I can still fix it. There's still time./
/... You can fix it? Are you sure?/
/Of course. I'm your Maid of Honor. It's my responsibility./
/.../
/Yuri? What is it? Tell me./
/I don't want you there, Yoona. I don't want you in my wedding./
The countdown to the end begins.
day eighteen ★ when hearts are broken
There was an incessant knocking on my door that woke me up from my already too light sleep. And because my arms were still sore, and my back hurt, I took my time to sit up on my couch. I never made it to my bed last night, after all the meetings my father forced on me after the trip in Jeju.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't almost thank my father for the work he gave me, since I had been dying to get away from Yoona and everyone else. Being holed up in a conference room and talking to clients for the past two days gave me a chance to relax and pull myself together again.
Leaning forward, I saw my reflection on my glass table. I didn't look as bruised as I did the day after the trip, but you could still see them if you looked close enough. The ring hung low on my chest, glinting in the sunlight that peeked through the curtains -- I reached up to touch it slightly and frowned; suddenly remembering how Yoona looked at me when I let her boyfriend beat the hell out of me. She looked so... disappointed.
I sighed. Coward, I scolded myself, you're a loser. I'd look at you that way too if I were in her position.
But the knocking hadn't stopped yet. Maybe whoever it is knocking will leave if I ignore it long enough, the thought flashed through my mind, but I knew better. I groaned inwardly, burying my head under the arms, trying to shut out the noise.
"Well, considering my luck these days -- it could be Yuri telling me to elope with her." I muttered, glancing briefly at the door in disdain.
Rubbing my eyes in frustration, I stood up as slowly as I could towards the door. Sure enough it was Yuri at the door, her hands carrying food and smiling up to me. "Good morning! I have sustenance!"
"Why are you here so early, Yuri? You usually bother me after breakfast." I said, keeping my tone as casual as I could. She could hear the sarcasm in my voice, I could tell by the way her eyes clouded over for a moment -- but Yuri didn't pay any attention to it. Instead she bounced inside the room, towards the table and bringing out the food.
"Come on, sit down and eat some breakfast." She said, flipping her hair and smiling at me. With one hand, she pulled me into the living room and I began to feel uneasy. Yuri was being too cheerful; isn't it that too much is a sign of something gone wrong. And by the way she held my arm, firm and strong -- almost not letting go, only made me worry.
She started to talk about what she was going to do that day, making big, hand gestures and smiling widely. Something about it -- her smile -- put me off. I sighed, setting down my plate and staring at her, waiting for her to stop so I could speak.
But that didn't seem to be happening anytime soon.
"Then I was thinking of going to the nail salon with Sooyoung or Yeonhee-unni. Should I get my nails done? Would it be okay before the wedding? I don't know but anyway-"
"What are you doing here?" I interrupted, this time my tone serious. I sat down across from her, watching her movements. "Did you have something to tell me?"
Yuri stopped faking her smile and set aside her plate, before looking up to me with an expression I couldn't pinpoint. "Well... I was thinking..." She fidgeted in her seat, biting her upper lip nervously.
Yuri stood up, stepping closer before kneeling in front of me. "What are you doing?" I asked, but she shook her head and shushed me. I held my breath at whatever she was about to say.
"Changmin-oppa... I think we should elope."
- - -
"Three buffet tables are going to be at that side, alright? Put them at equal distances from each other so that they won't crowd the flower arrangements. Go ask Jaejoong about how much-"
The waiter I was instructing looked at me, alarmed (maybe even a little bit worried), since I must have looked exhausted and disgruntled. I really was -- Yuri and Changmin's wedding was in three days... and I was working myself to the very edge of my sanity.
"You're working too hard, kid." Kibum said, nudging me with his shoulder. I tried to ignore him, scribbling furiously down on my note and finishing my instructions before quickly turning and walking away. He caught up with me and pulled me by the arm.
"Kim Kibum! Let go of my arm! What are you doing?!" I exclaimed, pulling free from his grasp. I rubbed my wrist, glaring at him, and in return, he glared back -- shaking his head in disdain. I leaned back against a wall and sighed, rubbing my forehead with my fingers. "Just say it. Geez."
"What the heck are you doing, Yoona? I thought you've 'moved on' already. What happened that seems to have made you change your mind?" He said, wringing his hands out in front of me. He paced around, still shaking his head. "God, the drama between the two of you is infuriating."
"Nothing's changed, Kibum. I'm just doing my job."
He scoffed. "Right. So I guess barking at every one of our workers with orders is part of your way of building a good working atmosphere, huh?" Kibum sighed, moving closer to me. "Come on, Yoong. Just tell me already. I'm your friend too."
He reached out to pat my head but I avoided it. The ill feelings surged, and I just couldn't keep it in any longer--
--"Changmin kept the ring. Why the hell did he keep that ring?"
Kibum was silent as I stared at him. Not that I could blame him. I couldn't blame anyone, not even Changmin. I sank down to the floor, heaving a heavy sigh -- covering my eyes with my hands, keeping the tears in that was threatening to fall down.
"I was fine with all of this up until that night. I had already managed to keep everything that I feel for him locked away, and I was going to begin again with a new man in my life. But I'm right back to where I started after seeing one ring."
"It's not even the kind of expensive ring, you know. It's just a simple silver band, hardly worth anything. But to me... to me, it means the world." I whispered, my voice nearly choking at the end. I felt Kibum take a seat next to me, and his arm wrapping around my shoulders, taking me in a small hug. "I still... feel the same way, even after everything that's happened. And I'm not supposed to anymore because..."
"Because?"
"Yuri loves him too."-"What?" I waved him off, shaking my head. "That doesn't matter, Kibum. The point is..." I trailed off.
"... I'm better off without him... right?" I looked at Kibum, willing him to give me an answer to my troubles but all he could muster as a reply was a resigned and defeated look on his face as well.
I sighed, shaking my head. "Yeah, I know. It's screwed up."
"It is screwed up." Donghae's voice said, and I looked up to see him standing over us with a tight smile on his face. Kibum and I stood up quickly, brushing ourselves off. Had he heard everything I had just said? I wondered, biting my lip.
I smiled politely at her. "Hi, Donghae." I greeted, keeping my voice light. He managed a small smile back, but didn't bother to look me in the eye. Nervousness began to creep in and I added, "What are you doing here? I thought you said you were going to pick me up later."
"Yeah, but I need to talk to you now," He said nonchalantly, before turning on his heel and walking towards the exit. I glanced at Kibum for a moment, confused at what I should do but he could only shrug in response.
"I think maybe you should talk to him."
I nodded. Taking a deep breath and an anxious step forward, I followed Donghae...
- - -
"I think we should elope."
"WHAT?"
I stood up so quickly, I felt the muscle on my sore back stretch. I winced, the pain shooting up my spine. Yuri tried to help me back to my seat but I didn't let her touch me. She sat back on her seat on the floor and looked up at me helplessly.
"What are you talking about, Yuri? Are you kidding? Because it's not funny." I said, leaning back against a wall and groaning.
"I'm not making a joke, oppa. I'm serious. Let's just go somewhere and elope. We'll get out of here and away from everyone." Yuri's face was hopeful as she stood up and walked towards me. "We could start over with our lives without having to bother with people who don't care..."
She stood in front of me now, her hands on her sides. "You don't want to have your life dictated by your father, right? And... you don't want to feel sad anymore." Yuri lifted her hands and put them on my shoulders. They were warm. "I could make you happy."
I bowed my head. Somehow, I knew where this was going. Yuri's voice spoke again. "Yoona's already happy with Donghae."
"Yuri." I said, turning away. "We'll be married in three days. Can't you wait till then?"
"I can't." she said, her voice breaking. I sighed.
"Why not?"
"Because I like you, oppa --" She stopped short when I turned to look at her again. The tears that weren't there in her eyes before, started to fall down.
Yuri continued in between tears, "And you love Yoona. But she doesn't love you anymore! You won't get her back. I give you my heart; all I ask is for you to give me yours. Please don't say no..."
Silence filled the air for a few moments. I let her cry but I didn't touch her. Instead, I thought about her proposal. The words she spoke were true -- one way or another. I might never get Yoona back, but at the same time I couldn't pretend that I didn't want to try.
"Oppa..." -- "You're my little sister. And didn't you tell me once that you'd help me?"
Yuri looked flustered; surprised I had asked and began to babble incoherently. I sighed, calming her down with a pat on the head. "It's alright."
"Changmin... I..." she looked embarrassed, "I don't want to be left alone."
No one does, I thought, pulling her into a light hug. "Elopement is out of the question, because we'll be married in three days. You won't be alone."
She shook her head, taking a step back. "But I like you, oppa. This complicates things... I can't have my future husband not love me."
"I'm sorry, Yuri." I said, patting her head once again. "I can't give you that. Not only because I can't, but because I won't."
My fingers wrapped around the ring, and I held it up to show Yuri. She looked at it, her eyes sad... understanding.
"My heart is hers. You know that more than anyone."
- - -
"Donghae? What is this about?" I was tentative to ask, but we've been quiet for 15-minutes, sitting on a bench outside the reception hall for Yuri's wedding that it was starting to make me nervous.
Donghae was wearing an oddly relaxed expression on his face -- staring off into space, while I fidgeted anxiously beside him. I bit my lip, sighing heavily before nudging him with an elbow. "Hey? Is something wrong?"
He turned to me slowly. "I want to break up." He said simply, that calm expression still on his face. I stared at him, shocked with my eyes widening -- "What?"
"I want to break up." Donghae repeated, this time seriously, "I don't think I should be with someone who doesn't love me the same way I do for her..." He shook his head, a forced smile lining his lips as he continued. "Admit, Yoong -- I never came close to what you felt for Changmin."
I shook my head, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. "You've got it all wrong. I do love you, Donghae. I do."
"But?" He supplied, removing his hand from my grasp before putting it back on top of mine. I studied his expression before lowering my head to study his hand on mine. He's right, I scolded myself, feeling guilty. If I really loved him, I would stop him from doing this... but--
"I'm sorry." I said finally, my voice breaking as I did so. "I never meant to hurt you this way."
"Don't be sorry. Shh." Donghae said, pulling me into a hug, "I'm still your friend, Yoona. And I'll get over you and meet someone way hotter. Don't be sorry. I'll be okay, and you'll be jealous." He stuck his tongue out, teasing me and I laughed despite myself.
I smiled, wiping away a tear and smacking him lightly on the shoulder. "I hate how optimistic you are. But you're right. I don't deserve you, but someone so much better will come soon I'm sure."
He smiled back, planting a soft kiss on the top my head. "He deserves you, you know. Changmin." I stayed still. "He could have beaten me up if he wanted to in Jeju, but he didn't because we were together and he respected that."
"He loves you, obviously. The same way you still love him."
The tears I didn't know I was holding in finally came falling down. I sniffled, shaking slightly. "Oh Donghae..." I shook my head and he pulled me in a tighter hug, "I do love him. But..."
"He's getting married in three days."
Donghae sighed. "I know."
"I know."
[*][*][*]
/We... broke up. Donghae and I./
/Oh, Yoona... I'm sorry. Are you alright?/
/Yes. I'm fine. I was expecting it somehow. I just didn't think it would happen so quickly./
/You know what they say, "Time flies when you're having fun." Except, breaking up is never fun./
/You're right... anyway, why did you call, Yuri? Is anything wrong with the arrangements?/
/No, everything's fine except for one thing... if it were gone, things will be perfect./
/Oh, really? What is it? Maybe I can still fix it. There's still time./
/... You can fix it? Are you sure?/
/Of course. I'm your Maid of Honor. It's my responsibility./
/.../
/Yuri? What is it? Tell me./
/I don't want you there, Yoona. I don't want you in my wedding./
The countdown to the end begins.