/A Perfect Day for A Love Declaration/ Day Fourteen(1)
a perfect day for a love declaration
day fourteen(1) ★ what she remembers
"I know you liked this guy, Yoona. Maybe even loved him. That's why I'm so curious." Donghae said, looking straight at me, "It must difficult for you but -- I really want to... understand."
"Why?"
He shrugged. "I don't know either. I just know I have to. You don't want to tell me?"
I shook my head. "I would like you to know. I mean, we have been going out for a hundred days or so already... I just -- I don't know what good it would do if I told you."
"Want me to tell you about my first love?" Donghae said cheekily. The tone of his voice was light, but there was an underlying tone I'm so sure was there. I rolled my eyes at him and smacked his arm hard. He grinned, rubbing his arm.
"Don't you think the past should stay in the past?" I said so softly, part of me wished he didn't hear me. But of course he did and he shook his head.
"The past is what made the present. Before we met, Sooyoung said that you used to be so bright and cheerful. Honestly, I was afraid you'd be the cheerleader type and I hated that kind of girl." His eyebrow was raised when he said this and I had to smile.
"But then I saw you and you weren't as bubbly as I expected."
Of course I wasn't. I nodded sheepishly, biting my lip. "Yeah..."
"I have a feeling there was something that happened with Changmin. Something that changed you somehow..."
He took my hand, and as I looked down at our hands, he squeezed them softly. "I know you remember. Won't you tell me?"
Remember?
Of course I did.
I remember what happened.
"Okay."
I took a deep breath, closing my eyes briefly. I spoke once I opened them.
"Changmin has always been indifferent. When I first met him, he barely even looked at me. But there was something good about him that I felt and liked, so I befriended him. To my surprise, he let me into his life and I got to know him better..."
"He was smart, sarcastic and surprisingly funny. With the way he was brought up, I didn't think he would be able to crack a good joke." I said wistfully, smiling out the corner of my mouth.
Donghae nodded, slowly and letting the words sink in. I held my breath for his reaction but he didn't say anything. Instead, he looked at me pointedly -- as if asking with his eyes, "Then what happened?"
FOUR YEARS AGO...
"I saw something today but I won't te~ell!" Yeonhee chirped, surprising me from my note taking.
I blinked up at her in surprise as she sat down in front of me, grinning from ear to ear.
Here was one of the most serious people I've ever met -- she was an honor student and on her way to become a doctor -- and yet, she was smiling and laughing excitedly. I knew my friend Lee Yeonhee well enough to know that this person in front of me must be an alien.
"Eh?" I said, more to the air than to anyone, and raised an eyebrow at her. "Who are you and what have you done to my friend?"
Yeonhee wrinkled her nose at me. "I'm your friend, Yoong."
"Are you sure? Because my friend doesn't usually look this excited after getting off her part-time job."
She laughed, "Come on! Didn't you hear what I said? I saw something today and I won't tell you!"
"The way you say it makes me curious!" I laughed, slapping her hand playfully from across the table. "Does it have something to do about Hankyung? Did you see him practicing how to ask Sooyoung out or something? Because if you did, we have to help him out! That boy needs to learn Korean faster!"
"Wait, what? Does Sooyoung like Hankyung?!" She shook her head, laughing as well, "Okay, I agree with you but no, that wasn't what I saw."
I clicked my tongue. "Ugh, too bad. Still, I'm interested. Yah, Yeonhee -- tell me already!"
"It's a secret!"
"Let me ask you this first: If, for example, I saw Changmin buying a ring for--let's say, you... would that make you happy?"
I felt the roots of my hair standing up, and my cheeks begin to burn. I licked my lips and went back to my papers after saying a quiet, "Yes" in response to her question.
"So you really really like Changmin?"
I began to shuffle my papers to appear busy and nonchalant. Too bad my cheeks were giving me away. I coughed, "Yes."
Yeonhee squealed, slapping her hand on the table in excitement. And I begged her to be silent. She couldn't sit still though and grabbed my hands. "I knew it! Oh my gosh, you should tell him!"
"Will you tell me what you saw then?"
"Nope! Because if I told you, you wouldn't tell him!"
I threw a piece of crumpled paper at her. "I hate you."
"Okay, I'll tell you but you won't believe it! I saw-"
My phone started to ring, the vibration sounds were loud enough to hear even though my phone was in my pocket. I put up a hand and reached for it, flipping it open without looking at the screen. "Hello?"
/Yoona. It's Mom. Honey... we need you here at home. Please. Your father-/
The panicked tone in my mother's voice surprised me. "Mom?" I started to say, but the line clicked off and I stood up abruptly.
"What's wrong?" Yeonhee asked, looking alarmed.
I shook my head, picking up my things hastily. I gathered my books under one arm, and tried to balance myself as I picked up my bag. "I have to go home. Mom said something about a crisis and dad-I have to go."
"Oh! Yoona! Wait!"
I didn't wait to listen, and I ran.
/ / /
"Mom! What was your call about? What happened?" I cried, just as I burst into my family home.
My mother was sitting quietly over at the dining table, staring at her coffee cup. I rushed towards her, dropping my bags on the floor. I shook her once, and she looked at me with tears in her eyes. My worry began to get bigger.
"Mom? What's wrong? What's the matter?"
She shook her head, breathing deeply. "Your father lost the company. I only found out today... and he's..." she trailed off, letting the tears flow freely now.
"He hasn't eaten in three days, darling. I thought he was still going to work all that time but he hasn't. He's been off drinking and when he collapsed today at a bar -- I picked him up and that's when I found out..."
"Dad wouldn't do that... he's worked so hard for the company. How could this have happened?"
"He lost all of his clients one by one, he said. And then another company bought him out without his knowing -- I'm not sure what happened, but it's killing him."
I bit my lip, hugging my mother's trembling body closer to me. "Where is he?"
She pointed discreetly towards their room and I gathered myself to walk over. I knocked twice before opening the door, seeing my father lay unmoving on his side on the bed. "Dad?" I whispered as I stepped closer.
"Yoona?" he replied, his throat raspy. The room smelled faintly of alcohol and I winced as the scent got stronger as I approached him.
"Dad... dad, what happened?"
"It happened so fast, I didn't realize that I had lost everything in a matter of days." His voice broke into sobs as I kneeled in front of him. I hugged my father as he cried.
I waited patiently until his tears subsided. "Do you know who did this?"
"I don't know. I don't know."
/Yoona?/
/Changmin -- I... I need you./
/... What's wrong?/
/My dad lost his company. He's not doing well with this and he's hurting himself. I don't know what to do! I hadn't even thought of a plan after graduation and this happens!/
/Calm down, Yoona--/
/Please... I don't know what to do./
/.../
/Changmin?/
/... Where are you?/
/ / /
"And that's what happened."
The air was cool against my skin as I related the news to Changmin later that day. He came earlier than I anticipated at my parents' home and promptly took me to a quiet and secluded spot in the park I loved so much. He didn't speak when he arrived, or when he grabbed my hand and led me to his car. He didn't say anything while I started to tell my story nor did he look my way.
At best, it seemed like he was trying to avoid me.
"Changmin? Aren't you going to say anything?" I said, glancing at him sitting beside me. He drew in a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Changmin?" My hand went over to touch his shoulder--
--but he quickly drew away, standing up abruptly.
"What do you want me to say?"
"What?" I stood up as well, staring at his back, confused. "Nothing. I just needed to tell somebody..."
He shook his head, putting his hands in his pockets. "Then why didn't you call Yeonhee or Kibum? I shouldn't be the one hearing this."
I could see him trembling, and I wondered why. I stepped closer. "But I wanted you to know..."
"Whatever. What I don't get is how your mother could stand how pitiful your father is being." His tone was harsh, cold. I took a step back surprised.
"How could you say that?" I nudged him hard, "My mother loves my father. She'll stand by him no matter what happens."
"Love, huh?"
The air was cool -- but it was getting colder each time he spoke. My heart began to beat faster, then faster -- almost of afraid of what he was to say next.
"I'll never fall in love."
The look on my face, I was sure, was one of complete shock. His statement was completely out of nowhere but somehow, his words made my heart constrict. "Really? Ever?"
He looked at me briefly in disdain and then bent his head down, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. I watch him patiently, worried for his next words.
"Love messes you up." He said, staring into my eyes, "It'll take you up for a few moments and then pull you down. It's not worth it."
He took a step forward, slowly walking away from me, humming a song under his breath. I follow him with my eyes; the tears slowly forming but I held them back as best I could. With a shaky breath and a forced smile, I walk up beside him:
"But, Changmin... you can't mean that. I'm sure it'll be worth it when you meet the right person."
I try my best to sound cheerful. But his words had hurt me and I couldn't contain myself. Somehow the flatness, the bitterness, finds its way into my voice.
"It doesn't matter."
"She could be anywhere!"
He continued walking, and I followed him. "And you know this because?"
"I know because--" I bit my lip. "I know because you're the right person to me!"
I clamped my hand over my mouth the moment the words came out and he stopped mid-step. Part of me begged for him not to turn around, but a bigger part wanted him to. And he did... he looked at me again; this time with a different expression on his face.
Partly annoyed, a little apologetic too, I decide. It was such a sad look too -- the way his eyes darkened... I held my breath and waited for him to speak.
Changmin took another deep breath, pulling out one hand (balled into a fist) from his pocket and looked at it for a moment. Then his expression changed and he fixed his (now) cold gaze at me. I put my hand over my heart because it'd begun to hurt.
"That right person you're talking about... that person is not here."
"I never saw him again after that. He had left two weeks before graduation and that was the end."
Donghae's expression was unreadable when I looked up at him. But his eyes were kind, and he held me closer to him. I lay my head on his shoulder.
"Do you think that maybe... he had a reason for leaving?"
I shrugged. "I wouldn't know. He pretty much crushed me after that night."
He nodded. "And now?"
I shook my head. "He's getting married, and I've... moved on."
Donghae didn't say a word after that.
Next part will be Changmin's side of the story...
day fourteen(1) ★ what she remembers
"I know you liked this guy, Yoona. Maybe even loved him. That's why I'm so curious." Donghae said, looking straight at me, "It must difficult for you but -- I really want to... understand."
"Why?"
He shrugged. "I don't know either. I just know I have to. You don't want to tell me?"
I shook my head. "I would like you to know. I mean, we have been going out for a hundred days or so already... I just -- I don't know what good it would do if I told you."
"Want me to tell you about my first love?" Donghae said cheekily. The tone of his voice was light, but there was an underlying tone I'm so sure was there. I rolled my eyes at him and smacked his arm hard. He grinned, rubbing his arm.
"Don't you think the past should stay in the past?" I said so softly, part of me wished he didn't hear me. But of course he did and he shook his head.
"The past is what made the present. Before we met, Sooyoung said that you used to be so bright and cheerful. Honestly, I was afraid you'd be the cheerleader type and I hated that kind of girl." His eyebrow was raised when he said this and I had to smile.
"But then I saw you and you weren't as bubbly as I expected."
Of course I wasn't. I nodded sheepishly, biting my lip. "Yeah..."
"I have a feeling there was something that happened with Changmin. Something that changed you somehow..."
He took my hand, and as I looked down at our hands, he squeezed them softly. "I know you remember. Won't you tell me?"
Remember?
Of course I did.
I remember what happened.
"Okay."
I took a deep breath, closing my eyes briefly. I spoke once I opened them.
"Changmin has always been indifferent. When I first met him, he barely even looked at me. But there was something good about him that I felt and liked, so I befriended him. To my surprise, he let me into his life and I got to know him better..."
"He was smart, sarcastic and surprisingly funny. With the way he was brought up, I didn't think he would be able to crack a good joke." I said wistfully, smiling out the corner of my mouth.
Donghae nodded, slowly and letting the words sink in. I held my breath for his reaction but he didn't say anything. Instead, he looked at me pointedly -- as if asking with his eyes, "Then what happened?"
FOUR YEARS AGO...
"I saw something today but I won't te~ell!" Yeonhee chirped, surprising me from my note taking.
I blinked up at her in surprise as she sat down in front of me, grinning from ear to ear.
Here was one of the most serious people I've ever met -- she was an honor student and on her way to become a doctor -- and yet, she was smiling and laughing excitedly. I knew my friend Lee Yeonhee well enough to know that this person in front of me must be an alien.
"Eh?" I said, more to the air than to anyone, and raised an eyebrow at her. "Who are you and what have you done to my friend?"
Yeonhee wrinkled her nose at me. "I'm your friend, Yoong."
"Are you sure? Because my friend doesn't usually look this excited after getting off her part-time job."
She laughed, "Come on! Didn't you hear what I said? I saw something today and I won't tell you!"
"The way you say it makes me curious!" I laughed, slapping her hand playfully from across the table. "Does it have something to do about Hankyung? Did you see him practicing how to ask Sooyoung out or something? Because if you did, we have to help him out! That boy needs to learn Korean faster!"
"Wait, what? Does Sooyoung like Hankyung?!" She shook her head, laughing as well, "Okay, I agree with you but no, that wasn't what I saw."
I clicked my tongue. "Ugh, too bad. Still, I'm interested. Yah, Yeonhee -- tell me already!"
"It's a secret!"
"Let me ask you this first: If, for example, I saw Changmin buying a ring for--let's say, you... would that make you happy?"
I felt the roots of my hair standing up, and my cheeks begin to burn. I licked my lips and went back to my papers after saying a quiet, "Yes" in response to her question.
"So you really really like Changmin?"
I began to shuffle my papers to appear busy and nonchalant. Too bad my cheeks were giving me away. I coughed, "Yes."
Yeonhee squealed, slapping her hand on the table in excitement. And I begged her to be silent. She couldn't sit still though and grabbed my hands. "I knew it! Oh my gosh, you should tell him!"
"Will you tell me what you saw then?"
"Nope! Because if I told you, you wouldn't tell him!"
I threw a piece of crumpled paper at her. "I hate you."
"Okay, I'll tell you but you won't believe it! I saw-"
My phone started to ring, the vibration sounds were loud enough to hear even though my phone was in my pocket. I put up a hand and reached for it, flipping it open without looking at the screen. "Hello?"
/Yoona. It's Mom. Honey... we need you here at home. Please. Your father-/
The panicked tone in my mother's voice surprised me. "Mom?" I started to say, but the line clicked off and I stood up abruptly.
"What's wrong?" Yeonhee asked, looking alarmed.
I shook my head, picking up my things hastily. I gathered my books under one arm, and tried to balance myself as I picked up my bag. "I have to go home. Mom said something about a crisis and dad-I have to go."
"Oh! Yoona! Wait!"
I didn't wait to listen, and I ran.
/ / /
"Mom! What was your call about? What happened?" I cried, just as I burst into my family home.
My mother was sitting quietly over at the dining table, staring at her coffee cup. I rushed towards her, dropping my bags on the floor. I shook her once, and she looked at me with tears in her eyes. My worry began to get bigger.
"Mom? What's wrong? What's the matter?"
She shook her head, breathing deeply. "Your father lost the company. I only found out today... and he's..." she trailed off, letting the tears flow freely now.
"He hasn't eaten in three days, darling. I thought he was still going to work all that time but he hasn't. He's been off drinking and when he collapsed today at a bar -- I picked him up and that's when I found out..."
"Dad wouldn't do that... he's worked so hard for the company. How could this have happened?"
"He lost all of his clients one by one, he said. And then another company bought him out without his knowing -- I'm not sure what happened, but it's killing him."
I bit my lip, hugging my mother's trembling body closer to me. "Where is he?"
She pointed discreetly towards their room and I gathered myself to walk over. I knocked twice before opening the door, seeing my father lay unmoving on his side on the bed. "Dad?" I whispered as I stepped closer.
"Yoona?" he replied, his throat raspy. The room smelled faintly of alcohol and I winced as the scent got stronger as I approached him.
"Dad... dad, what happened?"
"It happened so fast, I didn't realize that I had lost everything in a matter of days." His voice broke into sobs as I kneeled in front of him. I hugged my father as he cried.
I waited patiently until his tears subsided. "Do you know who did this?"
"I don't know. I don't know."
/Yoona?/
/Changmin -- I... I need you./
/... What's wrong?/
/My dad lost his company. He's not doing well with this and he's hurting himself. I don't know what to do! I hadn't even thought of a plan after graduation and this happens!/
/Calm down, Yoona--/
/Please... I don't know what to do./
/.../
/Changmin?/
/... Where are you?/
/ / /
"And that's what happened."
The air was cool against my skin as I related the news to Changmin later that day. He came earlier than I anticipated at my parents' home and promptly took me to a quiet and secluded spot in the park I loved so much. He didn't speak when he arrived, or when he grabbed my hand and led me to his car. He didn't say anything while I started to tell my story nor did he look my way.
At best, it seemed like he was trying to avoid me.
"Changmin? Aren't you going to say anything?" I said, glancing at him sitting beside me. He drew in a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Changmin?" My hand went over to touch his shoulder--
--but he quickly drew away, standing up abruptly.
"What do you want me to say?"
"What?" I stood up as well, staring at his back, confused. "Nothing. I just needed to tell somebody..."
He shook his head, putting his hands in his pockets. "Then why didn't you call Yeonhee or Kibum? I shouldn't be the one hearing this."
I could see him trembling, and I wondered why. I stepped closer. "But I wanted you to know..."
"Whatever. What I don't get is how your mother could stand how pitiful your father is being." His tone was harsh, cold. I took a step back surprised.
"How could you say that?" I nudged him hard, "My mother loves my father. She'll stand by him no matter what happens."
"Love, huh?"
The air was cool -- but it was getting colder each time he spoke. My heart began to beat faster, then faster -- almost of afraid of what he was to say next.
"I'll never fall in love."
The look on my face, I was sure, was one of complete shock. His statement was completely out of nowhere but somehow, his words made my heart constrict. "Really? Ever?"
He looked at me briefly in disdain and then bent his head down, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. I watch him patiently, worried for his next words.
"Love messes you up." He said, staring into my eyes, "It'll take you up for a few moments and then pull you down. It's not worth it."
He took a step forward, slowly walking away from me, humming a song under his breath. I follow him with my eyes; the tears slowly forming but I held them back as best I could. With a shaky breath and a forced smile, I walk up beside him:
"But, Changmin... you can't mean that. I'm sure it'll be worth it when you meet the right person."
I try my best to sound cheerful. But his words had hurt me and I couldn't contain myself. Somehow the flatness, the bitterness, finds its way into my voice.
"It doesn't matter."
"She could be anywhere!"
He continued walking, and I followed him. "And you know this because?"
"I know because--" I bit my lip. "I know because you're the right person to me!"
I clamped my hand over my mouth the moment the words came out and he stopped mid-step. Part of me begged for him not to turn around, but a bigger part wanted him to. And he did... he looked at me again; this time with a different expression on his face.
Partly annoyed, a little apologetic too, I decide. It was such a sad look too -- the way his eyes darkened... I held my breath and waited for him to speak.
Changmin took another deep breath, pulling out one hand (balled into a fist) from his pocket and looked at it for a moment. Then his expression changed and he fixed his (now) cold gaze at me. I put my hand over my heart because it'd begun to hurt.
"That right person you're talking about... that person is not here."
"I never saw him again after that. He had left two weeks before graduation and that was the end."
Donghae's expression was unreadable when I looked up at him. But his eyes were kind, and he held me closer to him. I lay my head on his shoulder.
"Do you think that maybe... he had a reason for leaving?"
I shrugged. "I wouldn't know. He pretty much crushed me after that night."
He nodded. "And now?"
I shook my head. "He's getting married, and I've... moved on."
Donghae didn't say a word after that.
Next part will be Changmin's side of the story...