Thawing Walls Chapter 8

[hyaru12]

Title: Thawing Walls

Chapter: Eight

Pairing: Hitsugaya Toushiro x Kurosaki Ichigo

Rating: M (T for the first half of the story)

Summary: itsugaya is stationed in a turbulent Karakura Town to investigate increased Menos activity. The inevitable interactions with Kurosaki Ichigo give way to things neither of them expected. Not only are they drawn to each other, but to the conclusion of an insidious scheme as well.

My god, an update?! It's been absurdly long since I wrote anything for this story. This story is also uploaded to my Fanfiction.net account Shading Source.
Thawing Walls - Chapter 8b
Hitsugaya Toushiro ’s cerulean eyes stared deep into themselves, the bathroom mirror reflecting his appearance. Biting his bottom lip, the boy was not quite satisfied with what he saw. Not that he felt bad about himself, quite the opposite. He had long come to terms with his shortness, his pristine white hair and the permanent frown lines on his forehead that had come to intimidate many.

The focus of his discomfort were the dark bags beneath his usually sparkling eyes. They had become increasingly evident over the past few days and while he wasn’t a stranger to signs of fatigue, this time was different. Usually, the symptoms resulted from days full of battles and nights filled with paperwork. That took a toll on his physical stamina. Right now, however, his mind was being challenged. These past weeks many troubling things had occurred and he couldn’t make sense of any. The prodigy wasn’t used to being in the dark, his sharp intellect had always provided him with answers. But these Menos appearances, their behavior, the Espada’s invasions that seemed half-hearted to say the least… Undoubtedly, they were connected. But how, the kid captain couldn’t fathom. This was his primary concern right now.

As if that wasn’t enough, he was bothered with schoolwork. Schoolwork! ‘Oh, you’ll fit in fine’, Matsumoto had said, ‘you’ll enjoy it’, she had promised. That woman was in for one stern speech sometime soon. However, these school affairs had led to his frequent encounters with Kurosaki and Hitsugaya wasn’t quite sure yet if that was a good or a bad thing. It certainly took up time. And patience, a lot of patience. What he couldn’t deny though, he started to not dislike spending his time that way. And that was his secondary concern at the moment. In the beginning the loud teen was only good for reinforcement in battle, the substitute shinigami sure could keep his own but the headaches and frustrations he caused had come dangerously close to outweighing that benefit. At some point he felt guilt tripped into aiding the teen in his exam preparations and that was when things steadily began to change. While there was always an abundance of irritation caused by the other’s unruly behavior, Hitsugaya noticed the teen’s excitement and sense of achievement was slightly infectious. With time it began to feel like Kurosaki’s accomplishments became his own. The pride resulting from that was no self-centered kind, instead he was actually glad for his friend.

Hitsugaya stopped his train of thought, his eyes suspiciously cast on his own face as if he was reading an enemy. Yes, everything involving his interactions with Kurosaki led to the conclusion that he was his friend, despite the exclusiveness of that status in the little captain’s world. His only other true friend was his vice-captain, who he held very dear regardless of the trouble she could cause. Some time ago he truthfully and rightfully called his sister a friend. However, Hinamori’s mind had been broken ever since that one fated day in Seireitei and she had yet to recover her mental health, making it hard to see her as more than a victim.

A small, dainty hand ran through the spikes on his head before smoothing out a spot on his shoulder and brushing away a tiny speck of dust. His eyes closed slightly as he checked his clothing for any other imperfections.

For some reason, on this morning, he was feeling nervous despite that fact that today was not an important day for him. For Kurosaki, though, it was immensely important. The mock exams had finally arrived and everything they worked so hard on would quite literally be put to the test. An uncomfortable feeling swam in his stomach and for a moment he attributed it to rooting for the obnoxious teen. Still something felt missing. There was something distinctly different between this incident of hoping Kurosaki would succeed and any instance where Matsumoto was being evaluated as a vice-captain. Whatever it was, he couldn’t find the right words to describe this anxiety.

He left the bathroom and entered the kitchen, checking a clock on his way. He still had plenty of time before school started but pacing around in the apartment didn’t sound very appealing so he figured he’d slowly head for school. From the kitchen he picked up a sandwich he’d prepared earlier, scowling when he remembered the idiot had made him promise to bring along a proper lunch for this important day. Placing his neatly packaged food in his bag he closed it and put it on the floor. From his bedroom he grabbed his uniform jacket, slipping into it before picking up his bag and moving towards the door. He effortlessly wriggled into his shoes and gently opened the door, locking it behind him.

Breathing in the cold morning air surrounding him, the small boy walked over the large bridge that separated him from the school building, paying no attention to the people he passed and the cars that sped by. Lost in his thoughts from earlier that morning he approached the front gate and silently entered, never making eye contact with another student. After a quick visit to his locker to exchange his shoes and some books he made his way towards the classroom. He didn’t get very far before a loud voice reached over the many students in the hall, inevitably arriving at the white-haired boy’s ears.

“Hey! Toushiro!” The voice was unmistakable and the matching orange mess of hair closed in fast, gently pushing any student in his way until he arrived at his target.

“Don’t yell so hard, Kurosaki. It’s incredibly annoying,” Hitsugaya flashed his trademark scowl. Like always Ichigo didn’t seem to care about the dangerous prosody and happily continued talking.

“Ahhh, are you ready? Oh man, I’m so nervous, I couldn’t get any sleep at all last night.” The teen chattered away as they moved towards their classroom. “I kept thinking about what’d happen if I failed. My old man would break half of my bones for sure!” A violent shudder was meant to illustrate the horror that thought induced. Hitsugaya just shook his head.

It didn’t take them long to reach the classroom and Ichigo somewhat reluctantly opened the door, entering while feeling like his shoes were filled with weights. Swiftly they both took their seats, Ichigo delving into his bag and taking out a book. He frantically started flipping through it, trying to take in last bits and pieces of information.

“Don’t read,” Hitsugaya said without turning to face him. He’d crossed his arms in front of his chest, his exterior completely relaxed. “It will only make you more stressed and make you forget what you’ve actually learned. Calming down will benefit you more right now.”

Ichigo eyed the back of the smaller teen with doubt in his brown eyes, contemplating for a second what to do. The boy was probably right… With a sigh he closed his book and dumped it in his bag. It remained silent for a while, the only sounds being that of other students entering quietly, nervously, and the crowds moving in the hallway.

“Toushiro, you’re used to stressful situations, aren’t you?” Ichigo asked with an odd mix of curiosity and anxiety. No answer came, nor any acknowledgement of the question.

“Hey, Toushiro, if I pass this exam… Will you-” Ichigo couldn’t finish his question as the teacher suddenly entered the room, inducing immediate silence in all the students. Those that were still standing hastily took their seats, not daring to speak a single word as the teacher looked at them with a stern, serious and almost solemn expression.

“Everyone, please take out a single pencil and put away everything else. Close your bags.” She started walking swiftly through the rows of desks, placing several sheets of paper on each desk. When she took her place in front of the class again she looked at her watch intensely. Seconds, which seemed like hours of torture, passed before she finally spoke up.

“Even though these are mock exams, do your utmost best as anyone who fails will follow mandatory classes during vacation time. Two hours, not a minute more, starting now. Good luck to you all. Begin.”

-----

“Ahh!” Ichigo sighed loudly as he stretched his upper body in an attempt to relieve some of the tension that had built up over the past two hours. Relishing in the fresh air that the rooftop of their school building provided he eyed his little friend sitting a few feet away. The ever-scowling boy was silently staring at the scenery below.

“Ne, Toushiro, about that second to last question. Was it just me or was it ridiculously difficult? I’m pretty sure we never covered that in class.” The reply came as a soft mumble.

“Really, stop calling me Toushiro.” The captain’s eyes never moved away from whatever they were observing and his body was completely still, as if he were a statue.

Ichigo bit his bottom lip, unsure what to do about the seemingly more uptight than ever little boy. Something was up with the other and Ichigo felt uncomfortable not knowing what it was. From his seated position in the circle he had formed with the others he moved to get up but an invisible brick seemed to hit him in the face. The rooftop swayed and turned before he blacked out.

Ichigo’s initial response to this sudden change was anxious and tense but before long he realized a familiar sensation enveloping him. He felt like he was falling for a moment and before long his sight returned to him, with it a view of horizontal skyscrapers. A breeze swept passed him as he recognized his altered surroundings.

Without a doubt, he was in his inner world.

Ichigo turned his head in several directions, trying to pick up the trusted old man’s figure that usually welcomed him on these visits. His zanpaktou wasn’t to be found. Before long a voice did reach his ears.

“Yo… It’s been a while, my dear KingA,” a ghostly white face behind Ichigo was the unmistakable source of the words. A sarcastic smirk dripped from it as Ichigo visibly tensed before quickly turning around.

“The hell? Get lost, you’re supposed to keep quiet,” Ichigo nearly hissed, not even trying to conceal his frustration and contempt. However, it only invited a hackled laugh to escape from the other’s white lips.

“Really, really, King, ya need to chill down. No need to get so feisty.” The hollow scratched the side of his head. “Talkin’ about feisty, you’ve been getting’ waaay to close to the shinigami kid. I can barely take yer mushiness towards those little sisters you adore so much but what ya got goin’ on now is just too much handle.”

Ichigo’s eyes glanced downwards, thinking about what the other half of his soul mate was saying. Swallowing thickly and clenching his fists, he tried to think of a response. He started with the obvious.

“Who I get involved with,” he paused to make eye contact, “is none of your business. So shut it.” The statement made little impact. “I went through hell to keep you from popping up like this. I beat you heads on, act like it.”

It remained quiet for a short moment, almost as if the words were being taken seriously. A chuckle betrayed that idea.

“Hehehe… Really, can ya get any weaker?” The hollow shrugged dramatically before turning his back to Ichigo, bizarrely walking down the skyscraper’s walls.

“Mark my words, my dear King. The kid’s trouble, nothin’ less. Oh, and…” The white figure stopped briefly, slightly turning his head to his right shoulder. “Beware of a coup d’état…” He added cynically before continuing to stroll away, his shoulders shaking with sick amusement.

Ichigo stoically watched his Hollow disappear from sight, his own unmoving body in stark contrast to his racing mind. Why was he suddenly able to pull him into this world without permission? His training with the Vizards was supposed to prevent this. And more importantly, why did he only want to talk so briefly? Surely he was intent on fighting and trying to claim dominance.

Ichigo couldn’t give it much more thought as he felt himself being surrounded by darkness once more and with a small sigh he surrendered himself to it. Before long he found himself back on the rooftop he’d been on earlier. He startled slightly, looking around and noticing his eyes felt unusually heavy.

“Oi, Kurosaki, break’s over,” Ishida called to him as he waited in the doorway of the rooftop. Ichigo realized he was the only one left sitting, the others apparently already gone. He rubbed his eyes with a callused hand, trying to shake off the drowsiness that seemed to cloud his senses.

“Tch, to fall asleep right now, of all times. Your carefree attitude really doesn’t know any limits,” Ishida muttered as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose with a singly finger. Eyeing Ichigo for a second longer he turned around and walked down the stairs. Ichigo stood still for a moment longer, a frown forming on his forehead.

“I… fell asleep? Weird…” He bit his lip for a split second before shaking his head. “Crap, gotta hurry to the classroom!”

-----

A rough two hours later Ichigo stretched his body abundantly for the second time that day as he left the school building behind him, accompanied by Ishida, Sado, Inoue and even Hitsugaya. The latter looked slightly puzzled, in contrast to the beaming faces of the two orange headed teens. After all, this very moment marked the end of their mock exams, leaving them with an entire afternoon of freedom. Unsurprisingly, Ichigo radiated the most energy of them all. He actually had a good feeling about his performance, which was rather uncommon after an important test.

“So! Who wants to get a burger? I’m starving!” The teen happily announced, though only Inoue responded with equal enthusiasm. Ishida and Sado seemed to quietly comply, leaving only the smallest boy with an uncertain expression. Ichigo took notice of this and energetically patted his petit friend on the shoulder.

“C’mon Toushiro, are you sulking ‘cause you think you messed up an exam? That happens to the best of us!”

“It happens to you,” Ishida sharply commented, thinking the teen should speak for himself on matters like these. Hitsugaya seemed to only frown deeper as he shook off the big hand from his shoulders. This gesture seemed to actually get through to Ichigo. The boy really seemed more tense than usual.

“Is… something wrong, Toushiro?” He asked with gentle concern in voice. Hitsugaya stopped walking and Ichigo halted as well, separating them from the others. The smaller one turned his face away from the other, partially obscuring his facial expression.

“I’m fine, really,” was the quiet and unconvincing reply. In response, Ichigo reached out once more to touch Hitsugaya but halfway through the motion he caught the boy’s gaze. Those eyes were full of an emotion Ichigo couldn’t quite identify, no matter how hard he tried. A mix of uneasiness, uncertainty and even slight desperation seemed to the best description, which was highly uncharacteristic of the usually collected captain. They both kept quiet for what seemed like an eternity, looking into each other’s eyes while trying to not show any sign of what raged inside of them.

Hitsugaya seemed like he was about to say something but apparently changed his mind at the last second, turning around and starting to walk way.

“H-Hey, Toushiro?” Ichigo muttered. After a few seconds he decided to follow the boy but the other had been walking rather fast and disappeared in a crowd of taller students that passed by. The boy’s pristine white hair was no longer visible and so Ichigo slowed his pace, coming to a stop after a few seconds. His gentle, brown eyes showed genuine concern and something else, something close to sadness though not quite the same. He remained like that for a while, staring at the space he’d last caught a glimpse of his friend. A short while later and from a distance behind him Inoue’s voice called out to him.

“Kurosaki-kun! We’re leaving you behind!”

Ichigo sighed deeply and turned around with clenched fists, forcing a smile on his face.

“Coming!” He yelled as he jogged up to his friends. He couldn’t help but throw a last glance behind him, secretly hoping he would locate an obvious mod of white hair between the masses of people but to no avail.

A few blocks further Hitsugaya came to a halt, panting lightly. Not because of his gigai’s unfitness but because of something he tried to suppress, that threatened to eat him from the inside. His stomach was twisting uncomfortable and he felt slightly dizzy. He pressed his lips together in a thin line and arched his back in an attempt to stretch. Sadly, every movement made him feel worse.

Well, worse was not an accurate definition of the raging feelings within the small boy. More so, it was a state of his mind he wasn’t used to. He felt sort of happy, while a soft pressure around his neck seemed to try to suffocate him. It didn’t feel like sickness nor an attempt at his life. What is was then, he couldn’t say.

Most peculiarly this soft pressure around his neck had seemed to get stronger throughout the day while being around one unmistakable person. What Hitsugaya couldn’t deny was that the same time the happy feeling also got stronger and stronger. However, this only seemed to puzzle him more. It was a contradiction of feelings that, in a milder form, he had felt around his precious friend and sister before the traitorous Aizen Sousuke wrecked chaos in not only Hitsugaya’s own life, but the life of everyone around him. As such, he had started to suppress his happiness around his sister, leaving only the increased suffocating pressure when he was in her presence.

He never dared to expect this duality of feelings, specifically the happiness, to surface within him a second time. Without warning, this contradicting wrestling of feelings had started to stir again, the cause shocking him more than anything else.

What the hell is this all about? That stupid, ridiculous idiot…

Hitsugaya took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second. He attempted to clear his head and to a small extent he succeeded. He decided to first get home. If anything he longed for his privacy.

-----

Two hours after Hitsugaya had entered his apartment, had taken a bath and had finished a report that was due this evening, the doorbell rang. The loud, clear sound pierced the peaceful silence Hitsugaya had so carefully created and maintained, the disruption making his white brows knit together. Choosing to ignore the undoubtedly unimportant intruder of his peace, his teal orbs returned to the numerous sheets of paper on his desk waiting to be signed. Being a trustworthy workaholic, Hitsugaya had decided to use his free time to catch up.

Again the doorbell rang, slightly longer this time. And again white brows came closer to each other and the boy’s grip on his pencil tightened. Persistently continuing to write, Hitsugaya remained seated in his chair. For a few more seconds it remained quiet and Hitsugaya assumed the intruder had left. This hope was diminished when the piercing sound echoed through the apartment a third time.

With an audible groan Hitsugaya put down his pencil and pushed his chair back, walking towards the door. Through the small peeking hole in the door he could see the blurred image of a tall figure, topped with an unmistakable orange color. Realization creeping in, Hitsugaya stood still for a moment as he hesitated whether he should open or not.

“Oi, Toushiro?” A deep voice came from the other side of the door. It was muffled by the door separating them but the warmth still reached Hitsugaya perfectly.

“I know you’re there, you wouldn’t be anywhere else. Just open up, okay?”

After a short moment of contemplation Hitsugaya slowly opened the door. The previously blurred image was replaced with a crystal clear view of the genuine smile on the taller teen’s face.

“Yes?” Hitsugaya asked, his voice almost only a low whisper. For some reason, he didn’t dare to put much strength in his own voice. Ichigo raised the bag he was holding in his left hand, widening his smile a bit further.

“Inoue, Chad, Ishida and I had a burger just now. Knowing you, you’ve probably not eaten properly since this morning, so I figured if you aren’t going near the food, the food just has to go to you.” Ichigo reached out his arm, presenting the bag to the boy in the doorway.

Suspicious eyes carefully took in the small, brown bag with a colorful logo on it. The smell now reached his nose and while the uptight captain was not one to like junk food, even he had to admit he was hungry enough to eat it.

So against every instinctive reaction that prevented him from accepting such kindness from others he clutched the bag with his small hands. In response, Ichigo smiled with a smug ‘mission accomplished’ expression on his face.

“Now, I’m sure you’re not going to grant me the honor of accompanying you while you eat that, so I guess I’ll be going now…” Ichigo’s voice trailed off with slight uncertainty. Even though the exams were now over and the need for tutoring was gone, he still felt the urge to spend time with the small captain. He had only just begun to sort out what feelings he was developing for the other.

Hitsugaya remained silent, apparently not hearing or not wanting to answer Ichigo. His eyes were cast towards the ground and his fists were still slightly clenched. Ichigo tried to catch the other’s gaze but when he realized it was impossible he shrugged with a soft sigh.

“Well, enjoy your burger, okay? Eat it all!” Ichigo said as he waved his hand and turned around, starting to walk away. Something inside of him wanted to be stopped, wanted the white-haired boy to call out to him but instead it stayed completely quiet. After a few steps, Ichigo looked over his shoulder to see that Hitsugaya had left. To his surprise however, the door was still open.

One orange eye brow went up as Ichigo took in the gesture. He carefully eyed to doorway, unsure of what to do now. Slowly he approached and peered into the apartment to see Hitsugaya settle between mountains of paper, still tightly holding on to the bag containing his food. Hesitantly, Ichigo entered and closed the door behind him before joining the boy in the living room.

“Don’t make a mess,” Hitsugaya mumbled as he opened the bag and salvaged a burger from underneath some fries. He choose to ignore the goofy smile worn by the teen who sat down next to him.

The pressure around his neck made place for a strange tingling in his stomach that had nothing to do with the prospect of eating. A wave of happiness surfaced again and Hitsugaya, for once, only partially suppressed the upward tug at the corners of his mouth.

To be continued

Author’s note:
So, it’s been quite some time! Are any of my original readers still there? I hope the emailed alert will reach you all. For those readers, I’m thinking of a writing a summary of sorts. I can’t really blame anyone for forgetting most of what has happened thus far and some may be reluctant to read everything again. Let me know if you’re interested.
I have some actual free time these next few weeks. I will try to write for this story during that time. Feel free to encourage me!

Shirosaki sometimes mockingly calls Ichigo the King after being beaten by him, taking the role of Horse himself. However, he vowed to overthrow his host and become the King himself one day. It’s a symbol of the power relation between the two.

In the next chapter of Thawing Walls:
Finally, Ichigo’s housewarming party and post-exam celebration is coming up. What will be said, by who and what reactions will be given