/sigh
I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Sometimes I think that, maybe, just maybe! I have a bit more than average intelligence. Then I look at the people around me and know I'm just someone average - or even below - leeching hungerly to the bellies of those who I know are better than me. I just want a taste of what it's like to be someone with real talent and dedication!
I try so hard. I always have. Ever since I was a little girl I have, even if it didn't show. And it didn't and it's because I'm so... So what? Not stupid, I know I'm not stupid. Not special? (Haha, Sasuke! "I am more specialer than j00!")
I'm holding Wes back. I don't push him enough and I'm a burden on him because I can't take care of myself.
They all graduated. Hank from collage! He's off to an asian country (not sure which one yet), Val's to Bowling Green, Amanda's graduated from CTC and going to a 2 year collage, and I know Max and Jim will be going somewhere notable. I saw Marcyanna Haynes when I got off work on Sunday while she was running around getting ready for graduation. Graduation! I liked Marcy when I knew her in school, but she was a nitwit! I don't mean that offensivly, it's just the truth and she graduated and I didn't. Maybe she can control her personality disorders better than I can.
I know other people who failed highschool. Generally nice people, but none are the intellectual kind I admire.(Yes, I know a lot of genius in history failed school, but that was a long time ago)
My "art" is still shakey and unimaginative and my writing is still stale. Those were my only hope and I don't think it'll be enough. Hope for what? I don't know, but hope, nonetheless.
Sometimes I wonder how Wes Thacker is. His mother and stepfather moved before I got up the courage to ask what happened to him. I just hope he's okay. I'll see if I can find him on Myspace.
I don't remember when my meeting with my counselor is and I know I won't get a reminder call because I never do. I needed this meeting. I didn't get any financial aid because I'm retarded and did something wrong and I haven't signed up for any classes. I know it's all my fault that I won't be able to go this quarter, but maybe she can fix it, or at least help me out for the Fall. All I know is that I absolutly have to keep trying.
I try so hard. I always have. Ever since I was a little girl I have, even if it didn't show. And it didn't and it's because I'm so... So what? Not stupid, I know I'm not stupid. Not special? (Haha, Sasuke! "I am more specialer than j00!")
I'm holding Wes back. I don't push him enough and I'm a burden on him because I can't take care of myself.
They all graduated. Hank from collage! He's off to an asian country (not sure which one yet), Val's to Bowling Green, Amanda's graduated from CTC and going to a 2 year collage, and I know Max and Jim will be going somewhere notable. I saw Marcyanna Haynes when I got off work on Sunday while she was running around getting ready for graduation. Graduation! I liked Marcy when I knew her in school, but she was a nitwit! I don't mean that offensivly, it's just the truth and she graduated and I didn't. Maybe she can control her personality disorders better than I can.
I know other people who failed highschool. Generally nice people, but none are the intellectual kind I admire.(Yes, I know a lot of genius in history failed school, but that was a long time ago)
My "art" is still shakey and unimaginative and my writing is still stale. Those were my only hope and I don't think it'll be enough. Hope for what? I don't know, but hope, nonetheless.
Sometimes I wonder how Wes Thacker is. His mother and stepfather moved before I got up the courage to ask what happened to him. I just hope he's okay. I'll see if I can find him on Myspace.
I don't remember when my meeting with my counselor is and I know I won't get a reminder call because I never do. I needed this meeting. I didn't get any financial aid because I'm retarded and did something wrong and I haven't signed up for any classes. I know it's all my fault that I won't be able to go this quarter, but maybe she can fix it, or at least help me out for the Fall. All I know is that I absolutly have to keep trying.