Silent Hearts at SM School 2/?
eunhyuk/donghae
g; Love isn't something that always has to be expressed with words. After losing his hearing, Hyukjae doesn't smile much anymore.
blinding words
Thankfully it was only 7:15AM when Hyukjae woke, but even so he didn’t want to be late, so he rushed his shower, slipping on the wet floor and nearly hitting his forehead into the mirror. His reflection winced back at him.
He pulled his uniform on, leaving two buttons undone on his shirt and wedged his shoes on. His suitcases were already packed and all he had left to do before going to school was giving the key back to the front of the hotel.
Every step that took him closer to SM college also increased his level of nervousness. What if he wasn’t accepted there? What if he was hated again?
Taking a deep breath as he walked through the front gates, he looked up in awe. The building was massive, the classrooms in front of him and then on the left hand side were what he guessed to be the dormitories. Rolling green fields extended behind the structures and Hyukjae felt very, very small.
He walked towards the larger building at the front, his eyes searching for the reception. His Mum had been told that he should ask the receptionist for his timetable, room number and key.
It wasn’t difficult to find her, however he knew at once that she wasn’t in the best of moods. Her face was pulled into an unattractive grimace and Hyukjae felt unnerved as he shut the door behind him. He had prepared for this though and had written a short letter to hand to her. As her eyes flickered across the information she looked back up, her face softening just a little and she handed him his timetable, key and wrote room 37 onto his piece of paper.
Hyukjae breathed again, smiled and walked back out of the door he had just walked into. Now he headed towards the dormitories. A tall clock hanging above the school was formed from ebony metal and showed Hyukjae that he had half an hour before his first class started. He opened the timetable awkwardly, still dragging him suitcase and groaned at his first lesson, maths.
He needed to put all his things away and then find the classroom in time. It was probably going to be a impossible in that time span, so Hyukjae decided to just chuck his suitcase through the door of room 37 and concentrate on getting to class before 9AM.
The plan was working perfectly until he actually twisted the lock on his door and walked into his home for the next two years. The main living room was bigger than the one at the hotel, and was light and airy. Excitedly he ran towards his bedroom and stood shocked as he entered. Two beds fitted into the tiny room and Hyukjae wondered over the second. Never had he seem school accommodation so nice. Hyukjae thought to himself that he wouldn’t mind living here instead of his family’s house, but soon dispelled the thought. What would his Mum think of him if she knew?
He made it to classroom a little earlier than he had expected to and hovered hesitantly outside the door. Was he supposed to enter or wait outside until the teacher called them into the room?
The corridors stretching behind and in front of him were powder blue and quiet. A student behind him made him jump as he ran past Hyukjae and banged into the door to the math room. Hyukjae had neither seen nor heard him. He waited another 3 seconds, gathering all of his courage before slipping into the room as inconspicuously as possible.
The seating didn’t seem to be assigned and once again Hyukjae thought a silent prayer. An empty seat on the very left hand side of the room was free and quickly he ran to sit down. The teacher was not yet there, and people were talking all around him. Not many students had noticed him come in but those that did seemed to turn back to the front of the room after a few swift glances over to him.
When the teacher stood at the front of the room, Hyukjae had been looking down at his hands, tracing the veins over his thumb. He looked up quickly as the other students did and watched carefully to read the teacher’s mouth as he spoke.
“Good morning, class.” The teacher called and Hyukjae supposed that the class greeted him in reply.
“We have a new student joining us today.” The teachers mouth moved, “So Lee Hyukjae, if you would like stand up and introduce yourself.”
Hyukjae blanched, all colour draining from his face until he felt he would become a black and white statue. He stood up slowly, feeling every student in the room turn towards him, look at him, waiting expectantly for him to speak.
Instead he just raised his hand and smiled a very weak smile before sitting into his seat again. The teacher frowned a little but didn’t comment. Thirty other pairs of eyes were still locked onto Hyukjae.
The lesson began and Hyukjae knew they would think him rude, unfriendly. Desperately he wished he could take it back and restart this lesson, so he could just fit in for once.
It was difficult to catch everything that the teacher said. Every time he turned and faced the blackboard at the front of the class, his mouth was obscured and Hyukjae had to wait until he turned around to understand what was going on. He thought all the teachers had been told that he was deaf, but this teacher seemed to either not know or not care. Hyukjae really hoped it was the former. After the teacher turned around again, Hyukjae gave up on learning anything and decided to just talk to the teacher after the class.
An hour passed quickly and students began to filter out rapidly at the silent bell. Hyukjae walked slowly towards the teacher’s desk and held out a piece of paper he had written on earlier. He handed it to the man carefully and stood there uncomfortably as it was read.
The teacher raised an eyebrow.
“I don’t give any of my students any special consideration because of personal issues. I will try to face forward so you can lip-read what I am saying, however we all have difficulties and it would be unfair for me to treat you any differently. I hope you understand.”
Hyukjae nodded and headed towards his next lesson. Although the maths teacher seemed hard and cold, Hyukjae didn’t think he was too bad.
-
His next lesson was infinitely more interesting. The only reason Hyukjae was attending the most impressive performing arts school in South Korea was because of his passion to dance and SM college employed only the best dance teachers. His heart fluttered with expectation as he pulled a grey tank top down his thin torso and tied his black sweatpants. All around him people changed into shorts, t-shirts, tank tops, and out of their school uniforms.
The dance hall was amazing. The entire length of the far wall was covered in mirrors and had a wooden bar at hip level for ballet. The floor was heated slightly and the left hand side of the room flooded with light from ten ceiling to floor windows. Hyukjae couldn’t wait to get dancing.
But as Hyukjae looked again at the mirrors the other side of the room, reflected back at him was a face that seemed familiar. Squinting harder Hyukjae looked at the boy and was suddenly surprised when he realised it was Donghae. What was he doing here?
He realised quickly that Donghae must also go to this school and felt stupid for not realising straight away. He beamed and rushed forward to tap Donghae on the shoulder. As his hand brushed Donghae, the boy turned around but his face was unfriendly and arrogant. Hyukjae stared.
A flash of recognition bolted through Donghae but as he opened his mouth to speak, Hyukjae felt a rough push to the small of his back. He couldn’t help but fall forward from the momentum and looked behind himself shocked.
Two boys stood next to Donghae looking furious.
“Don’t touch him, who do you think you are?” The oldest looking boy spat, his eyes dark.
The younger looked round at Donghae and his friend and said calmly, “Heechul, leave him. He’s not worth it, he was in my maths class this morning and didn’t even introduce himself properly. He refused to even speak.”
Hyukjae watched as Donghae’s eyes flickered from his own to the boy named Heechul’s and then to the younger, more feminine male.
Donghae spoke trying to diffuse the situation, but he didn‘t speak to Hyukjae, and instead ignored him as if he didn‘t exist. “Heechul hyung, Sungmin, let’s go, okay?” And then they were leaving, walking away. Hyukjae felt his entire body go cold; this wasn’t the Donghae that he knew. The trio sat down onto the wooden floor, far away from him and were soon surrounded by other males. It was then that Hyukjae understood. They were the popular people.
Sungmin looked over once and smirked. Inside Hyukjae knew that they were talking about him from the way Sungmin lowered his head to whisper into Heechul’s ear. A feeling of utter sickness washed over Hyukjae. It felt as though history was repeating itself. He despaired; why couldn’t he fit in anywhere?
After all the lessons had finished, Hyukjae struggled to find his way back to his apartment. The building was huge, larger than he had first thought and that made it hard to navigate. He tried to remember the way he had walked earlier but he was disorientated. The commotion earlier had stopped his brain working properly. Why had Donghae been so different here? He didn’t seem as if he was the same person and that made Hyukjae feel a little betrayed. Hadn’t they started to become friends?
On his third lap of the entire SM college building, Hyukjae knew he was utterly lost. He looked around hopefully for someone for help, but the students walked past him as if he was invisible. He spotted a quieter boy walking along the edge of the corridor. His fingers brushed along the paintwork and he seemed calmer than the hordes of stampeding teenagers around them both.
Hyukjae approached him. He coughed slightly and the boy looked up as if he had just woken from sleep. He seemed dazed and Hyukjae smiled at him.
Trying his absolute hardest, Hyukjae said as confidently as he could, “Do you know where room 37 is?”
From the bewildered look on the boys face, Hyukjae knew that he must have said it wrong and concentrated harder. It was frustrating because he would never know how to say the words correctly because he couldn’t hear them. This was why he never spoke, because the feeling of embarrassment and disappointment at himself was horrible. He knew that speaking was something that he would never be able to do properly and he hated it, hated it so much that he thought his heart would burst.
“Do you know where room 37 is?” Hyukjae repeated, more slowly this time, focusing on pronouncing the words as clear as he could.
For a second Hyukjae thought he had said it wrong again, but then the boys face broke into a smile and he nodded dreamily, his hand reaching out and grabbing Hyukjae’s shoulder. “This way,” his lips told Hyukjae.
Abruptly he stopped and Hyukjae nearly crashed into him.
“I’m Yesung.” He said cheerfully and then Hyukjae was being dragged again towards what he hoped was room 37.
-
Hyukjae looked behind him slightly disbelieving. Yesung had found his apartment quickly for him and Hyukjae was grateful, but instead of leaving Yesung had followed Hyukjae into the room and sat down onto the sofa. Hyukjae felt a little self-conscious. Was this normal? He had no experience of boarding schools before this. Yesung looked comfortable though and Hyukjae calmed a little. He was overreacting, not everyone here was set out to be horrible to him, there were nice people left. He rubbed his clammy palms on the back of his school trousers hoping Yesung wouldn’t notice.
Yesung smiled at him. “Are you deaf?” He asked. Hyukjae stiffened a little but saw Yesung meant no harm. He nodded and Yesung nodded back, his face not changing expression, his smile still there.
“There’s no need for you to worry about how you speak. I used to have a friend who couldn’t hear so I’m somewhat accustomed to it. Honestly, just relax.”
As Yesung continued chatting, Hyukjae couldn’t help but feel at ease. He sat on the sofa next to the other boy and felt normal for the first time in almost ten hours.
“The room arrangements will change in about a week so don‘t get too comfortable here. The staff give the students time to make a few friends before we have to choose who we want to be placed with, and then we all switch rooms. It’s usually the second years who get their own apartments. Not many of the second years are back yet, over half of them are still on a trip to England.”
Hyukjae’s eyes opened in shock. There were more students than the ones already here?
“Doesn’t making people share cause arguments?” Hyukjae asked slowly.
“Not really,” Yesung shrugged. “Because we get to choose there seems to be less arguments. It’s actually quite a good idea and definitely saves space. I prefer it because then you don‘t end up sharing with people you dislike.” Yesung shivered. “Also, some of the second years can be quite scary, so not having to share with them is a huge bonus.”
Hyukjae thought of Heechul this morning and silently agreed.
“What if you don’t have anyone who wants to share a room with you?” Hyukjae asked quietly, not quite meeting Yesung’s eyes, his hands twisting in his lap.
Yesung thought for a little, looking around at Hyukjae‘s empty apartment. “Then the staff will just randomly put people together. They don’t often do that though because usually everyone finds a pair and also because it does cause arguments.”
Hyukjae felt like he may be the exception to the usual. Yesung looked down at his watch and thought that he saw a flicker of understanding across Yesung’s face as to why he had asked that question. He seemed to realise that being alone was a real worry that Hyukjae hadn’t wanted to admit.
“Do you want to come to the canteen with me to grab some dinner? I doubt that you’ve had time to buy any food yet. Whilst the food isn’t the greatest there, it’s still bearable. I can introduce you to some people I know if you‘d like.” Yesung stood as he talked, peering down at his old fashioned looking wrist watch again. Now that Hyukjae looked, there was something different about this boy, a shadow in the way he held himself, the ghost of long sleepless nights beneath his eyes. He seemed exhausted but still carefree. The constant smile decorating his face helped balance the tiredness.
As they walked down together past the green lawns to eat, Hyukjae felt for the first time what if was like to be accepted. He felt extremely grateful to Yesung, even more so since he knew he had nothing to give to him in return. Questions yet to be asked hung in the comfortable silence, broken only by their footsteps. A group of dark birds congregated ahead of them froze at their advance, and as the two watched, they stretched their wings and rose gracefully into the humid air before disappearing into the fading sky, obscured by the top of the school.
It felt liberating.
-
The next day was similar to the first, however it did not pass without incident. Hyukjae set an alarm on his phone and woke early, showering quickly before setting out to the canteen for breakfast. He had got home late last night after spending the evening chatting to Yesung in a corner of the canteen. He had been too tired to even unpack any of his things and regretted it as he rummaged through his suitcase carelessly to find some matching socks.
Breakfast that morning was toast, cereal or fruit and Hyukjae quickly grabbed himself an apple, still feeling apprehensive about being on his own. Yesung was obviously not awake yet. Keeping his head down he chose a seat away from the other students and looked around carefully.
The table furthest away from his had all turned around to look at him. He toyed with his apple nervously. Donghae stared back at him, but it didn’t seem angry, more sad, as if he really wasn’t a bad person. However all around Donghae were angry, unkind faces. A group stood from the table but Donghae stayed.
As the people got closer, Hyukjae could see Heechul and Sungmin in the midst of the group and his stomach sank. He got to his feet to leave but it was too late, they were already upon him.
“Good morning, Hyukjae.” Sungmin sneered and Hyukjae looked at his face, thinking to himself that the boy really did have nice lips, very easy to lip read from. Quickly he averted his gaze as he noticed himself staring, not wanting to add any more fuel to the fire.
Heechul pushed Hyukjae on his shoulder. “Why are you ignoring us?”
Hyukjae couldn’t reply to him, his mouth had literally glued itself shut from fear and his brain was no longer thinking about how to speak. He blinked. All around him, students not involved were turning to look at the fight forming. Embarrassment washed through Hyukjae.
A calm boy stepped forward and pulled Hyukjae’s red apple from his grasp. His face was expressionless as he turned away and then placed his arm over Heechul’s shoulder, leading him away from Hyukjae. Heechul threw a nasty look over his shoulder but let himself be lead off by the slightly Chinese looking boy and the others followed.
Hyukjae stood frozen until he was sure they had disappeared from the room and then walked cautiously out of the door, feeling the eyes of everyone eating breakfast surveying him. He was not looking forward to today.
-
As Hyukjae was walking out of the boys toilets during his lunch break, he walked straight into Donghae. He bounced into the other, their foreheads banging and Hyukjae’s vision was suddenly impaired by tiny little stars. He wondered if Donghae was also dazed. His fingers touched the tiles on the walls as he steadied himself and he smiled a little at the ridiculous situation he had just literally walked into.
Donghae smiled back but as a shadow appeared behind Hyukjae, suddenly Donghae’s smile faded, his expression hardening as he greeted the faceless stranger and pushed past Hyukjae. Turning around he saw the Chinese boy from earlier and blanched, running as quickly as he could out into the corridor, breathing heavily.
Why was Donghae acting so cold?
Chapter One | Chapter Three
blinding words
Thankfully it was only 7:15AM when Hyukjae woke, but even so he didn’t want to be late, so he rushed his shower, slipping on the wet floor and nearly hitting his forehead into the mirror. His reflection winced back at him.
He pulled his uniform on, leaving two buttons undone on his shirt and wedged his shoes on. His suitcases were already packed and all he had left to do before going to school was giving the key back to the front of the hotel.
Every step that took him closer to SM college also increased his level of nervousness. What if he wasn’t accepted there? What if he was hated again?
Taking a deep breath as he walked through the front gates, he looked up in awe. The building was massive, the classrooms in front of him and then on the left hand side were what he guessed to be the dormitories. Rolling green fields extended behind the structures and Hyukjae felt very, very small.
He walked towards the larger building at the front, his eyes searching for the reception. His Mum had been told that he should ask the receptionist for his timetable, room number and key.
It wasn’t difficult to find her, however he knew at once that she wasn’t in the best of moods. Her face was pulled into an unattractive grimace and Hyukjae felt unnerved as he shut the door behind him. He had prepared for this though and had written a short letter to hand to her. As her eyes flickered across the information she looked back up, her face softening just a little and she handed him his timetable, key and wrote room 37 onto his piece of paper.
Hyukjae breathed again, smiled and walked back out of the door he had just walked into. Now he headed towards the dormitories. A tall clock hanging above the school was formed from ebony metal and showed Hyukjae that he had half an hour before his first class started. He opened the timetable awkwardly, still dragging him suitcase and groaned at his first lesson, maths.
He needed to put all his things away and then find the classroom in time. It was probably going to be a impossible in that time span, so Hyukjae decided to just chuck his suitcase through the door of room 37 and concentrate on getting to class before 9AM.
The plan was working perfectly until he actually twisted the lock on his door and walked into his home for the next two years. The main living room was bigger than the one at the hotel, and was light and airy. Excitedly he ran towards his bedroom and stood shocked as he entered. Two beds fitted into the tiny room and Hyukjae wondered over the second. Never had he seem school accommodation so nice. Hyukjae thought to himself that he wouldn’t mind living here instead of his family’s house, but soon dispelled the thought. What would his Mum think of him if she knew?
He made it to classroom a little earlier than he had expected to and hovered hesitantly outside the door. Was he supposed to enter or wait outside until the teacher called them into the room?
The corridors stretching behind and in front of him were powder blue and quiet. A student behind him made him jump as he ran past Hyukjae and banged into the door to the math room. Hyukjae had neither seen nor heard him. He waited another 3 seconds, gathering all of his courage before slipping into the room as inconspicuously as possible.
The seating didn’t seem to be assigned and once again Hyukjae thought a silent prayer. An empty seat on the very left hand side of the room was free and quickly he ran to sit down. The teacher was not yet there, and people were talking all around him. Not many students had noticed him come in but those that did seemed to turn back to the front of the room after a few swift glances over to him.
When the teacher stood at the front of the room, Hyukjae had been looking down at his hands, tracing the veins over his thumb. He looked up quickly as the other students did and watched carefully to read the teacher’s mouth as he spoke.
“Good morning, class.” The teacher called and Hyukjae supposed that the class greeted him in reply.
“We have a new student joining us today.” The teachers mouth moved, “So Lee Hyukjae, if you would like stand up and introduce yourself.”
Hyukjae blanched, all colour draining from his face until he felt he would become a black and white statue. He stood up slowly, feeling every student in the room turn towards him, look at him, waiting expectantly for him to speak.
Instead he just raised his hand and smiled a very weak smile before sitting into his seat again. The teacher frowned a little but didn’t comment. Thirty other pairs of eyes were still locked onto Hyukjae.
The lesson began and Hyukjae knew they would think him rude, unfriendly. Desperately he wished he could take it back and restart this lesson, so he could just fit in for once.
It was difficult to catch everything that the teacher said. Every time he turned and faced the blackboard at the front of the class, his mouth was obscured and Hyukjae had to wait until he turned around to understand what was going on. He thought all the teachers had been told that he was deaf, but this teacher seemed to either not know or not care. Hyukjae really hoped it was the former. After the teacher turned around again, Hyukjae gave up on learning anything and decided to just talk to the teacher after the class.
An hour passed quickly and students began to filter out rapidly at the silent bell. Hyukjae walked slowly towards the teacher’s desk and held out a piece of paper he had written on earlier. He handed it to the man carefully and stood there uncomfortably as it was read.
The teacher raised an eyebrow.
“I don’t give any of my students any special consideration because of personal issues. I will try to face forward so you can lip-read what I am saying, however we all have difficulties and it would be unfair for me to treat you any differently. I hope you understand.”
Hyukjae nodded and headed towards his next lesson. Although the maths teacher seemed hard and cold, Hyukjae didn’t think he was too bad.
-
His next lesson was infinitely more interesting. The only reason Hyukjae was attending the most impressive performing arts school in South Korea was because of his passion to dance and SM college employed only the best dance teachers. His heart fluttered with expectation as he pulled a grey tank top down his thin torso and tied his black sweatpants. All around him people changed into shorts, t-shirts, tank tops, and out of their school uniforms.
The dance hall was amazing. The entire length of the far wall was covered in mirrors and had a wooden bar at hip level for ballet. The floor was heated slightly and the left hand side of the room flooded with light from ten ceiling to floor windows. Hyukjae couldn’t wait to get dancing.
But as Hyukjae looked again at the mirrors the other side of the room, reflected back at him was a face that seemed familiar. Squinting harder Hyukjae looked at the boy and was suddenly surprised when he realised it was Donghae. What was he doing here?
He realised quickly that Donghae must also go to this school and felt stupid for not realising straight away. He beamed and rushed forward to tap Donghae on the shoulder. As his hand brushed Donghae, the boy turned around but his face was unfriendly and arrogant. Hyukjae stared.
A flash of recognition bolted through Donghae but as he opened his mouth to speak, Hyukjae felt a rough push to the small of his back. He couldn’t help but fall forward from the momentum and looked behind himself shocked.
Two boys stood next to Donghae looking furious.
“Don’t touch him, who do you think you are?” The oldest looking boy spat, his eyes dark.
The younger looked round at Donghae and his friend and said calmly, “Heechul, leave him. He’s not worth it, he was in my maths class this morning and didn’t even introduce himself properly. He refused to even speak.”
Hyukjae watched as Donghae’s eyes flickered from his own to the boy named Heechul’s and then to the younger, more feminine male.
Donghae spoke trying to diffuse the situation, but he didn‘t speak to Hyukjae, and instead ignored him as if he didn‘t exist. “Heechul hyung, Sungmin, let’s go, okay?” And then they were leaving, walking away. Hyukjae felt his entire body go cold; this wasn’t the Donghae that he knew. The trio sat down onto the wooden floor, far away from him and were soon surrounded by other males. It was then that Hyukjae understood. They were the popular people.
Sungmin looked over once and smirked. Inside Hyukjae knew that they were talking about him from the way Sungmin lowered his head to whisper into Heechul’s ear. A feeling of utter sickness washed over Hyukjae. It felt as though history was repeating itself. He despaired; why couldn’t he fit in anywhere?
After all the lessons had finished, Hyukjae struggled to find his way back to his apartment. The building was huge, larger than he had first thought and that made it hard to navigate. He tried to remember the way he had walked earlier but he was disorientated. The commotion earlier had stopped his brain working properly. Why had Donghae been so different here? He didn’t seem as if he was the same person and that made Hyukjae feel a little betrayed. Hadn’t they started to become friends?
On his third lap of the entire SM college building, Hyukjae knew he was utterly lost. He looked around hopefully for someone for help, but the students walked past him as if he was invisible. He spotted a quieter boy walking along the edge of the corridor. His fingers brushed along the paintwork and he seemed calmer than the hordes of stampeding teenagers around them both.
Hyukjae approached him. He coughed slightly and the boy looked up as if he had just woken from sleep. He seemed dazed and Hyukjae smiled at him.
Trying his absolute hardest, Hyukjae said as confidently as he could, “Do you know where room 37 is?”
From the bewildered look on the boys face, Hyukjae knew that he must have said it wrong and concentrated harder. It was frustrating because he would never know how to say the words correctly because he couldn’t hear them. This was why he never spoke, because the feeling of embarrassment and disappointment at himself was horrible. He knew that speaking was something that he would never be able to do properly and he hated it, hated it so much that he thought his heart would burst.
“Do you know where room 37 is?” Hyukjae repeated, more slowly this time, focusing on pronouncing the words as clear as he could.
For a second Hyukjae thought he had said it wrong again, but then the boys face broke into a smile and he nodded dreamily, his hand reaching out and grabbing Hyukjae’s shoulder. “This way,” his lips told Hyukjae.
Abruptly he stopped and Hyukjae nearly crashed into him.
“I’m Yesung.” He said cheerfully and then Hyukjae was being dragged again towards what he hoped was room 37.
-
Hyukjae looked behind him slightly disbelieving. Yesung had found his apartment quickly for him and Hyukjae was grateful, but instead of leaving Yesung had followed Hyukjae into the room and sat down onto the sofa. Hyukjae felt a little self-conscious. Was this normal? He had no experience of boarding schools before this. Yesung looked comfortable though and Hyukjae calmed a little. He was overreacting, not everyone here was set out to be horrible to him, there were nice people left. He rubbed his clammy palms on the back of his school trousers hoping Yesung wouldn’t notice.
Yesung smiled at him. “Are you deaf?” He asked. Hyukjae stiffened a little but saw Yesung meant no harm. He nodded and Yesung nodded back, his face not changing expression, his smile still there.
“There’s no need for you to worry about how you speak. I used to have a friend who couldn’t hear so I’m somewhat accustomed to it. Honestly, just relax.”
As Yesung continued chatting, Hyukjae couldn’t help but feel at ease. He sat on the sofa next to the other boy and felt normal for the first time in almost ten hours.
“The room arrangements will change in about a week so don‘t get too comfortable here. The staff give the students time to make a few friends before we have to choose who we want to be placed with, and then we all switch rooms. It’s usually the second years who get their own apartments. Not many of the second years are back yet, over half of them are still on a trip to England.”
Hyukjae’s eyes opened in shock. There were more students than the ones already here?
“Doesn’t making people share cause arguments?” Hyukjae asked slowly.
“Not really,” Yesung shrugged. “Because we get to choose there seems to be less arguments. It’s actually quite a good idea and definitely saves space. I prefer it because then you don‘t end up sharing with people you dislike.” Yesung shivered. “Also, some of the second years can be quite scary, so not having to share with them is a huge bonus.”
Hyukjae thought of Heechul this morning and silently agreed.
“What if you don’t have anyone who wants to share a room with you?” Hyukjae asked quietly, not quite meeting Yesung’s eyes, his hands twisting in his lap.
Yesung thought for a little, looking around at Hyukjae‘s empty apartment. “Then the staff will just randomly put people together. They don’t often do that though because usually everyone finds a pair and also because it does cause arguments.”
Hyukjae felt like he may be the exception to the usual. Yesung looked down at his watch and thought that he saw a flicker of understanding across Yesung’s face as to why he had asked that question. He seemed to realise that being alone was a real worry that Hyukjae hadn’t wanted to admit.
“Do you want to come to the canteen with me to grab some dinner? I doubt that you’ve had time to buy any food yet. Whilst the food isn’t the greatest there, it’s still bearable. I can introduce you to some people I know if you‘d like.” Yesung stood as he talked, peering down at his old fashioned looking wrist watch again. Now that Hyukjae looked, there was something different about this boy, a shadow in the way he held himself, the ghost of long sleepless nights beneath his eyes. He seemed exhausted but still carefree. The constant smile decorating his face helped balance the tiredness.
As they walked down together past the green lawns to eat, Hyukjae felt for the first time what if was like to be accepted. He felt extremely grateful to Yesung, even more so since he knew he had nothing to give to him in return. Questions yet to be asked hung in the comfortable silence, broken only by their footsteps. A group of dark birds congregated ahead of them froze at their advance, and as the two watched, they stretched their wings and rose gracefully into the humid air before disappearing into the fading sky, obscured by the top of the school.
It felt liberating.
-
The next day was similar to the first, however it did not pass without incident. Hyukjae set an alarm on his phone and woke early, showering quickly before setting out to the canteen for breakfast. He had got home late last night after spending the evening chatting to Yesung in a corner of the canteen. He had been too tired to even unpack any of his things and regretted it as he rummaged through his suitcase carelessly to find some matching socks.
Breakfast that morning was toast, cereal or fruit and Hyukjae quickly grabbed himself an apple, still feeling apprehensive about being on his own. Yesung was obviously not awake yet. Keeping his head down he chose a seat away from the other students and looked around carefully.
The table furthest away from his had all turned around to look at him. He toyed with his apple nervously. Donghae stared back at him, but it didn’t seem angry, more sad, as if he really wasn’t a bad person. However all around Donghae were angry, unkind faces. A group stood from the table but Donghae stayed.
As the people got closer, Hyukjae could see Heechul and Sungmin in the midst of the group and his stomach sank. He got to his feet to leave but it was too late, they were already upon him.
“Good morning, Hyukjae.” Sungmin sneered and Hyukjae looked at his face, thinking to himself that the boy really did have nice lips, very easy to lip read from. Quickly he averted his gaze as he noticed himself staring, not wanting to add any more fuel to the fire.
Heechul pushed Hyukjae on his shoulder. “Why are you ignoring us?”
Hyukjae couldn’t reply to him, his mouth had literally glued itself shut from fear and his brain was no longer thinking about how to speak. He blinked. All around him, students not involved were turning to look at the fight forming. Embarrassment washed through Hyukjae.
A calm boy stepped forward and pulled Hyukjae’s red apple from his grasp. His face was expressionless as he turned away and then placed his arm over Heechul’s shoulder, leading him away from Hyukjae. Heechul threw a nasty look over his shoulder but let himself be lead off by the slightly Chinese looking boy and the others followed.
Hyukjae stood frozen until he was sure they had disappeared from the room and then walked cautiously out of the door, feeling the eyes of everyone eating breakfast surveying him. He was not looking forward to today.
-
As Hyukjae was walking out of the boys toilets during his lunch break, he walked straight into Donghae. He bounced into the other, their foreheads banging and Hyukjae’s vision was suddenly impaired by tiny little stars. He wondered if Donghae was also dazed. His fingers touched the tiles on the walls as he steadied himself and he smiled a little at the ridiculous situation he had just literally walked into.
Donghae smiled back but as a shadow appeared behind Hyukjae, suddenly Donghae’s smile faded, his expression hardening as he greeted the faceless stranger and pushed past Hyukjae. Turning around he saw the Chinese boy from earlier and blanched, running as quickly as he could out into the corridor, breathing heavily.
Why was Donghae acting so cold?
Chapter One | Chapter Three