(no subject)
I just want to cry. But for some reason, it's not coming out. Neither is my creativity that is so desperately needed for my dance solo project, or the door decorating contest. Nothing is coming to me this week, and it sucks.
I miss so many people, even people who do live around Rutgers. Every day I go to class and laugh, and make other people laugh, and learn all this stuff, and have what should be wonderful college days, and then I get back to my room and just feel so empty.
Sometimes it feels like half of my chatter is just completely useless and a waste of peoples' time, especially online, but at the same time if I don't bother these people then I don't have anyone to talk to. I wish I were a more likable person or something, so that I wouldn't constantly just be imposing on people by interrupting their time to talk to them. So that people would want to include me in their activities, and call me back when I try to make plans with them, or even call me for a change and make plans with me. I guess I really am annoying and loud, or too quiet and boring depending on my mood.
ughh November. what a shitty month. I always feel like crap throughout the whole month.
I miss so many people, even people who do live around Rutgers. Every day I go to class and laugh, and make other people laugh, and learn all this stuff, and have what should be wonderful college days, and then I get back to my room and just feel so empty.
Sometimes it feels like half of my chatter is just completely useless and a waste of peoples' time, especially online, but at the same time if I don't bother these people then I don't have anyone to talk to. I wish I were a more likable person or something, so that I wouldn't constantly just be imposing on people by interrupting their time to talk to them. So that people would want to include me in their activities, and call me back when I try to make plans with them, or even call me for a change and make plans with me. I guess I really am annoying and loud, or too quiet and boring depending on my mood.
ughh November. what a shitty month. I always feel like crap throughout the whole month.