Grr!
>:(
I am so fed up with myself!
My teacher claims that I actually have a voice and that one day I should be able to sing that scary Queen of the Night aria, but I just can't believe her the way things are going!
I've finally figured out my precise problem: I'm scared. I actually scared to go for the higher notes in the songs/pieces/arias/whatever I'm doing. I mean, I'll get to the higher notes and think, ">.<; Maybe someone will hear me and hate my singing!" and I chicken out of it; I'll open my mouth but all that'll come out is basically a squeak. The most annoying thing is that I know that I can hit that note, but I just won't let myself!
I think maybe it's my perfectionist nature. I know it's ridiculous to expect myself to sound like Sumi Jo when I've had 5 months of lessons, but I think subconsciously I'm upset with myself for not sounding like a professional! It's so stupid, but I don't know how to get rid of it -.-;;
What to do? I can barely get out the Ab5's in O Mio Babbino Caro without scrambling my brain and my teacher wants my to sing some Strauss for the Summer concert. I only know one piece by Strauss for voice:
It was the last thing she played for me in her list of what she'd like to attempt with me. How am I going ever to sing that if I don't get over myself?
-.-;
[/end rant]