Assumed realities
I really don't get how people can believe things, put words into others' mouths, so fully without a second thought; like how a typed statement could mean several different things but the reader is only capable of seeing one of them.
Nor do I understand how one could be so sure of something without any evidence of it and plenty to the contrary.
And, possibly my "favorite", how after spending so much time with someone they still seem to have no idea who I am.
What bothers me most of this is the fact that I am still surprised every time it happens.
What I think I am trying to say is:
"I don't hate you. Stop telling me that I do."
Whatever.
Xmess and Xmess Eve were completely awful. I spent them absolutely alone. I walked around a lot. The entire city was barren. Not a car on the road, grey skies and crisp chill in the air.
The landscape matched my emotional state with perfect indifference.
It didn't hurt, but in no way do I wish to repeat it.
Oh well. Sure, I was completely alone, but that is so much better than wishing I was.
I actually did something for New Year's Eve, the first time in eight years. Usually I'm just getting back from Ohio and need a nice quiet night alone; not this year.
So I went to Kim's place for her party. It was pretty cool except for some ogre getting shitty with me for his (over-sized) girl friend wouldn't stop flirting with me.
Aside from other people and losing two (more) good friends in the same month, life is really good right now.
I like my new job for the most part. Even got a promotion after only five weeks.
Bought a nice new car. Apparently my credit score is (rather was, now that I'm back in debt) nearly perfect.
My laptop is almost paid off.
Got things with the rent, bills and roommates sorted and evened.
Had a few dates, none of the contestants are of notable importance, but it's still pleasant to be out and social.
No longer freaked out from insomnia nor depression.
Staying sober most of my days.
By kicking ass and getting a perfect score on the technical portion of my final I was actually able to pull off an A (90.1%) in my class after all. Can't wait for next semester to get going. Gonna have my A+ cert by June.
Going back to the gym routine next week now that my schedule is settled and I can plan around it now.
Started reading again, now that I don't have to study all the time.
I've finally settled on the tattoo I want.
Going to get a seventh piercing tomorrow with Kim.
Got my 401k from the Hilton switched over to the one I have now. Awesome.
I could complain about a lot of things right now, but they're really trivial. Everything I deem important is currently under (my) control and either how I want it or at least improving.
We'll see how long that lasts, eh?
I hope you all are well. Or at least not lying to yourselves.
Nor do I understand how one could be so sure of something without any evidence of it and plenty to the contrary.
And, possibly my "favorite", how after spending so much time with someone they still seem to have no idea who I am.
What bothers me most of this is the fact that I am still surprised every time it happens.
What I think I am trying to say is:
"I don't hate you. Stop telling me that I do."
Whatever.
Xmess and Xmess Eve were completely awful. I spent them absolutely alone. I walked around a lot. The entire city was barren. Not a car on the road, grey skies and crisp chill in the air.
The landscape matched my emotional state with perfect indifference.
It didn't hurt, but in no way do I wish to repeat it.
Oh well. Sure, I was completely alone, but that is so much better than wishing I was.
I actually did something for New Year's Eve, the first time in eight years. Usually I'm just getting back from Ohio and need a nice quiet night alone; not this year.
So I went to Kim's place for her party. It was pretty cool except for some ogre getting shitty with me for his (over-sized) girl friend wouldn't stop flirting with me.
Aside from other people and losing two (more) good friends in the same month, life is really good right now.
I like my new job for the most part. Even got a promotion after only five weeks.
Bought a nice new car. Apparently my credit score is (rather was, now that I'm back in debt) nearly perfect.
My laptop is almost paid off.
Got things with the rent, bills and roommates sorted and evened.
Had a few dates, none of the contestants are of notable importance, but it's still pleasant to be out and social.
No longer freaked out from insomnia nor depression.
Staying sober most of my days.
By kicking ass and getting a perfect score on the technical portion of my final I was actually able to pull off an A (90.1%) in my class after all. Can't wait for next semester to get going. Gonna have my A+ cert by June.
Going back to the gym routine next week now that my schedule is settled and I can plan around it now.
Started reading again, now that I don't have to study all the time.
I've finally settled on the tattoo I want.
Going to get a seventh piercing tomorrow with Kim.
Got my 401k from the Hilton switched over to the one I have now. Awesome.
I could complain about a lot of things right now, but they're really trivial. Everything I deem important is currently under (my) control and either how I want it or at least improving.
We'll see how long that lasts, eh?
I hope you all are well. Or at least not lying to yourselves.