A few things in way of procrastination.
I should be reading and/or doing my labs, but I got all night and tomorrow to do such.
So I figure I'd type some crap out first. Updating LJ seems to have some soothing and/or clarifying results on me at times. Get all this out of my head before I must fill it with academia.
That and it's the best way to get words to my bff currently. I wonder if she'd like me to come visit her at work sometime or if that's a no-no right now as well?
1) For anyone that has internet access on their phone but doesn't use it because they dislike the way the pages are displayed/formatted, you gotta try google mobile. Just go to google on your phone. Then go to "More", then "Even More" and click "Mobile". There will be options to pick your phone and some other settings. Go through all that and henceforth all the pages you browse will be filtered and reformatted for your phone by google. It takes about 1/2 an additional second, but it's so totally worth it.
It's really pretty damn rad.
I love it.
2) I can't wait for this class to be over. It's driving me nuts. I like avoiding boredom but this is ridiculous sometimes. And with my schedule the way it is... blargh!! Like today and tomorrow are my days off. But I gotta catch up on today's stuff (already done) then do tomorrow's stuff, then saturday's and also do this whole week's lab assignments.
I really have no free time at all any more. I'm learning a lot more than I had thought I would, which is really good. It's just overwhelming at times.
The only good thing about doing it this way is that I will have some of Saturday night free. Well, if I get all the labs done tonight/tomorrow I will. I can take this week's exams Saturday night at 1am and then I'm free until Sunday at and after work. So I guess I do get a bit of free time. It's just on a work night so it doesn't seem as special.
I'm gonna get all this crap done, take my books and laptop to work, then go to Richard's, have a shower, change into comfy clothes, do my tests and then chill out with him, have a few drinks and sleep on his couch and go right back to work the next day.
3) Ever since I posted that poem the other day, other pieces have been popping into my mind. Here's one I wrote a while ago about a friend I was in love with and who was in a "relationship" with a complete cock that treated her so very poorly. I still want to punch him to this day.
She'd always come to me for comfort, but I was too afraid of my feelings to tell her about them. So I just let her use me for the comfort she sought. She didn't USE me, well... she did but without the bad connotations that usually accompany that word.
I'd get a knock on the door at some odd hour of the night, I'd answer the door and she'd walk right past me and into my room and lay down without saying a word. We'd never talk about it, I'd just hold her til she was done crying. Then, after an hour or two of not crying and sounding happy and warm, she'd get up and leave, again without a word. She'd never tell me what was wrong, even though I could guess, and she'd never tell me where she was going when I asked.
She's dead now.
You don't deserve to feel this
You're doing nothing wrong
I would keep this from you
If only I were strong
Knowing how he treats you
Hatred equal to your tears
I'd treat you like a queen
But I'm paralyzed with fear
Held tight against each other
Your sobbing fades away
I know the time is coming
Please why won't you just stay?
But again you slip from my arms
When you know you don't have go
Such a heavy heart
Who could hope to hold?
I know where you're going
That's the hardest part
No matter where tonight
You won't escape your broken heart
Ever since hearing about what happened to her, I changed myself to never hide my feelings, despite how awkward they can make a situation. I still wonder what might have happened if I had told her. I was afraid she'd stop coming to me for comfort because she might think I'd try something (as boys generally did to her). And I couldn't risk that. I liked being there for her. And I know, however temporary, that I did help her. I couldn't risk losing being useful to someone I loved. It's one of the best feelings in the world; holding someone close and feeling your embrace erode their pain.
4) I got a raise at work. All of $0.20/hr. Fucking whoopitdy-doo. I think they did that to appease me for fucking me on my schedule. Which really only angers me more.
Saturday, Sunday and Monday I work 3 - 1130pm. Tuesday and Wednesday 11pm - 730am. Ugh. So I really have Monday off until 11pm. And I'm off Thursday from when I wake after getting home til Saturday when I go back in at 3pm. Pretty lame.
But this is why I bought a laptop. I can work on labs during those graveyard shifts as well as using the wifi access for guest suites to turn assignments in... as well as jerk around the internet.
5) My roommate lost his job. Again. That's 2 since March when I moved in. And he can no longer collect unemployment, which really puts me in a bind. It's not like I make a ton of money. He -would- if he could keep a job. Damn. It's a lot of extra stress I don't really need right now.
6) I now have a third roommate. He's just staying with us until he moves here in a month or so... At lest that is the plan. I would have thought that an additional person in this small place would cause me headaches, but I don't even notice since I'm always in my room reading or working on school stuff.
Anyway, that's me right this second. Time to get back on this school thing. Get caught up and work ahead. Only two more weeks of this hectic madness. Then I get to the fun class of tearing shit apart and building stuff. I can't wait. I love that kinda stuff. And this class will net me some certification I can use to finally start a much overdue career.
My goal of insuring that my future will be more comfortable than my present will finally come to fruition. Hell yes.
I'll be able to take better care of myself as well as be a more capable provider.
I hope you all are doing well.
I miss you all.
Let me know if any of you want to meet up once I get this class over with or if there is anything I could help you with.
I love you lot.
<3
So I figure I'd type some crap out first. Updating LJ seems to have some soothing and/or clarifying results on me at times. Get all this out of my head before I must fill it with academia.
That and it's the best way to get words to my bff currently. I wonder if she'd like me to come visit her at work sometime or if that's a no-no right now as well?
1) For anyone that has internet access on their phone but doesn't use it because they dislike the way the pages are displayed/formatted, you gotta try google mobile. Just go to google on your phone. Then go to "More", then "Even More" and click "Mobile". There will be options to pick your phone and some other settings. Go through all that and henceforth all the pages you browse will be filtered and reformatted for your phone by google. It takes about 1/2 an additional second, but it's so totally worth it.
It's really pretty damn rad.
I love it.
2) I can't wait for this class to be over. It's driving me nuts. I like avoiding boredom but this is ridiculous sometimes. And with my schedule the way it is... blargh!! Like today and tomorrow are my days off. But I gotta catch up on today's stuff (already done) then do tomorrow's stuff, then saturday's and also do this whole week's lab assignments.
I really have no free time at all any more. I'm learning a lot more than I had thought I would, which is really good. It's just overwhelming at times.
The only good thing about doing it this way is that I will have some of Saturday night free. Well, if I get all the labs done tonight/tomorrow I will. I can take this week's exams Saturday night at 1am and then I'm free until Sunday at and after work. So I guess I do get a bit of free time. It's just on a work night so it doesn't seem as special.
I'm gonna get all this crap done, take my books and laptop to work, then go to Richard's, have a shower, change into comfy clothes, do my tests and then chill out with him, have a few drinks and sleep on his couch and go right back to work the next day.
3) Ever since I posted that poem the other day, other pieces have been popping into my mind. Here's one I wrote a while ago about a friend I was in love with and who was in a "relationship" with a complete cock that treated her so very poorly. I still want to punch him to this day.
She'd always come to me for comfort, but I was too afraid of my feelings to tell her about them. So I just let her use me for the comfort she sought. She didn't USE me, well... she did but without the bad connotations that usually accompany that word.
I'd get a knock on the door at some odd hour of the night, I'd answer the door and she'd walk right past me and into my room and lay down without saying a word. We'd never talk about it, I'd just hold her til she was done crying. Then, after an hour or two of not crying and sounding happy and warm, she'd get up and leave, again without a word. She'd never tell me what was wrong, even though I could guess, and she'd never tell me where she was going when I asked.
She's dead now.
You don't deserve to feel this
You're doing nothing wrong
I would keep this from you
If only I were strong
Knowing how he treats you
Hatred equal to your tears
I'd treat you like a queen
But I'm paralyzed with fear
Held tight against each other
Your sobbing fades away
I know the time is coming
Please why won't you just stay?
But again you slip from my arms
When you know you don't have go
Such a heavy heart
Who could hope to hold?
I know where you're going
That's the hardest part
No matter where tonight
You won't escape your broken heart
Ever since hearing about what happened to her, I changed myself to never hide my feelings, despite how awkward they can make a situation. I still wonder what might have happened if I had told her. I was afraid she'd stop coming to me for comfort because she might think I'd try something (as boys generally did to her). And I couldn't risk that. I liked being there for her. And I know, however temporary, that I did help her. I couldn't risk losing being useful to someone I loved. It's one of the best feelings in the world; holding someone close and feeling your embrace erode their pain.
4) I got a raise at work. All of $0.20/hr. Fucking whoopitdy-doo. I think they did that to appease me for fucking me on my schedule. Which really only angers me more.
Saturday, Sunday and Monday I work 3 - 1130pm. Tuesday and Wednesday 11pm - 730am. Ugh. So I really have Monday off until 11pm. And I'm off Thursday from when I wake after getting home til Saturday when I go back in at 3pm. Pretty lame.
But this is why I bought a laptop. I can work on labs during those graveyard shifts as well as using the wifi access for guest suites to turn assignments in... as well as jerk around the internet.
5) My roommate lost his job. Again. That's 2 since March when I moved in. And he can no longer collect unemployment, which really puts me in a bind. It's not like I make a ton of money. He -would- if he could keep a job. Damn. It's a lot of extra stress I don't really need right now.
6) I now have a third roommate. He's just staying with us until he moves here in a month or so... At lest that is the plan. I would have thought that an additional person in this small place would cause me headaches, but I don't even notice since I'm always in my room reading or working on school stuff.
Anyway, that's me right this second. Time to get back on this school thing. Get caught up and work ahead. Only two more weeks of this hectic madness. Then I get to the fun class of tearing shit apart and building stuff. I can't wait. I love that kinda stuff. And this class will net me some certification I can use to finally start a much overdue career.
My goal of insuring that my future will be more comfortable than my present will finally come to fruition. Hell yes.
I'll be able to take better care of myself as well as be a more capable provider.
I hope you all are doing well.
I miss you all.
Let me know if any of you want to meet up once I get this class over with or if there is anything I could help you with.
I love you lot.
<3