(no subject)

[ichabod69001]

yeah this isnt too good... my dads in florida... he will be there for the next 3 weeks.. he went there to find work.. he hasnt been able to work lately and its rly not good cuz hes the one that pays all the bills... my tv has been shut off and im not so sure how long the fone will last... this bites... i dont know what ill do if i have none of them... i wont have any way of getting in toutch with anyone and its rly not good.. specially that i wont have ANY way of getting in toutch with my girlfriend if we loose the fone... this isnt kool at all.. and to top it off all the fuckheads in timberlane who wanna be all dramafull and gay as hell and i just dont wanna deal with them... some of the ppl that are doing it i love to death too... megan i went out with forever and was best friends with her last year...and now shes acting really different.. and i guess i am too.. my outlook on things is a lott different.. im sick of this shit and im gunna start telling ppl exactly how i feel.. im not gunna hold this in... no cuz as much as flippin out dont help neither does shutting up... and im not gunna flip out ill tell ppl how i feel quite calmly actually.. if they wanna hate me for it then fine.. maybe they should start thinking bout why i feel that way and not focusing on the fact that they dont wanna hear the words streaming out of my mouth... maybe im being an asshole.. i dunno.. but ill tell you this.. im not gunna be an asshole on purpose.. im not the kinda person to be a prick just to make your life harder.. if i dont wanna deal with you i just wont talk to you.. rather not give you the time of day or waste my breath on something pointless.. the problem is i do kare about this shit.. thats why i make a big deal and why my words are soo harsh... if i didnt kare the only 2 words ud hear from me would be goodbye... forever.... but i do kare.. and thats half my problem i guess... maybe im karing about ppl that dont deserve it? i dont know in my mind the ppl i care about are worth it... megan is a great friend... so was chris... so if you ppl dont give a fuck for me.. then just come out and say it and ill leave you alone.. if u wanna work things out then talk to me.. honestly sit down and talk to me... if its worth it then itll work out.. if its not then fuck it... thats how blunt ill be with you right now... i have enough to deal with in my fucking mind without having to deal with this shit... so... u decide.. am i worth it or what... i wont sit here wasting my time if its not... i dont wanna be saying these words... i know its blunt and i know i should be a lot nicer about it.. the truth is wether u see it or not i do kare about you guys... and we used to be the best of friends... now one is convinced he always has to be obsessively jealous and protective of me around his girlfriend who has been like a sister to me for a long time now... and the other is convinced that im just out to get her or something... the truth is.. i just wannt back what we had last year... everyone... and im sorry.. im sorry for anything that i have sed that has offended or hurt neone... i just have wayy to much on my mind to wanna deal with this teenage drama bullshit... its not worth it... im 15 and ima live my life as good as i can.. wether ur here to help me live it or not... these are my words and i stand beside them to the end... take it or leave it just know that the truth is... i love you guys.. every single one of you.. megan and chris included... ((megan as a best friend obviously and chris used to be like a brother)) and i miss what there used to be cuz i was a lott happyer then... i dont know if a damn word of this will effect anyone or if even anyone is gunna be reading it.. just know.. i do want to fix things... and i do miss you guys... im sorry... thats all... im sorry

i love you brianna... more then anything... no matter how the rest of my life goes i know that i can come home and think of you and know that everything will work out in the end.. queer as it sounds... but no matter what goes on things with us stay perfect... and i love that.. i love you!...thankyou for always being there for me... and thankyou for being the greatest girlfriend to me... i appreciate all of it.. its what keeps my head on strait when the rest of my world seems to be spinning... i love you.. soo much **kisses** **huggs** im yours.... forever