If I Kissed You
Title: If I Kissed You
Author: ich_heisse_kai
Pairing: Hanry
Rating: pg-15
Length: chaptered (17 of about 25)
Warning: boyxboy love, kissing,
Summary: “Yeah, right. And I’m the Queen of England,”
It’s been about a month now since I moved back to Canada and things have…faded. Faded like a watercolor painting with too much water, the colors bleeding and blending to create grey.
Days become routine for me - up early for rehearsals, a few hours of school surrounding my lunch break so I could possibly graduate from high school in the future, then more rehearsals only to go home to a dark and quiet house. My father and Benny go to bed early if all possible and wake later than I do.
Benny leads the life of a normal teenager: high school during the day, homework in the afternoon and friends in the meantime. Our father is the typical businessman slash vice president. He did loads of paperwork and always seemed to be on the phone with someone. But he managed to pull a few strings and land me with one of the best managers in the company, an Englishman named Jude. He was nice, he was kind, and he was handsome, with golden blonde hair and emerald eyes and a beautiful smile. He always seemed to be on my side, and even became something of a tutor for me.
Often, I find myself thinking about Hankyung.
I think about him rather often, more often than I would like, and I wonder if he ever thinks about me.
“Henry,” Jude said through a mouthful of French fries. It was strange hearing my name pronounced correctly after so many years of mispronunciation. “You should eat. You have a meeting with the CEO today and no time after to eat.”
“I’m not hungry,” I muttered, poking at the now strange Western food on my plate. After so many years of only Eastern, namely Chinese, food, Western was a little strange. Even growing up in the States I ate more Chinese food than American, unless it was one of those rare occasions I had forgotten my lunch or my friends treated me to something after school. French fries were strange now.
Jude frowned. “Not hungry my ass,” he said, “I haven’t seen you eat anything for the past few days, and neither has your father. Eat something,” he said seriously, “Now.”
“I eat,” I lied through my teeth. Absently, I wondered if he could tell. “I’m just… not hungry.”
“Yeah, right. And I’m the Queen of England,” Jude rolled his eyes. Well, with a Elizabethan dress, a little make-up and a wig, he could have fooled me. Suddenly, I thanked the Lord Jude hadn’t the ability to read minds.
Jude looked at me, emerald eyes shining with genuine worry. “C’mon,” he urged gently, “tell me what’s up.”
I pushed the little paper container of French fries away from me, towards the center of the table and puffed out my cheeks. I never told Jude anything from before I returned to Canada. He didn’t need to know anything, and none of it mattered anymore. All he knew was my mother and her husband lived in Korea and that I had a step brother. Nothing more. Finally, I said, “…It’s nothing.”
“With a long pause like that?” Jude asked, “I doubt its nothing. Henry,” suddenly, his tone changed, making me look up at the Englishman. “I know something’s wrong. Henry, I’m your manager, I have to take care of you know, whether you like it or not. Now spill.”
I chewed on my lip and wondered if I should tell him. Jude wouldn’t judge me, right? He’d understand…. “I miss him,” I mumbled under my breath. If he heard it, he heard it. If he didn’t, then I’m not going to repeat it.
Jude blinked. “Miss who?”
I sat back in my chair and tried not to fidget as I said, “Hankyung.”
“Your brother?” Jude asked, thin, dark golden eyebrows furrowed as he tried to recall my family lines. Jude, being the dedicated man he was, took it upon himself to memorize my family. He made it a goal to know everyone by their names, where they lived, everything. “Oh, well, its only natural to miss your brother.”
I opened my mouth to correct him, but I couldn’t. Maybe it was better if he thought Hankyung was simply my brother, no romantic feelings attached. For the past few months, I’ve been trying to erase all traces of that anyway. It was wrong - that’s why Zumu was on our cases most of the time, why my mother slapped me, and possibly why my dad contacted me after so long. My father seems very clueless as to that, though.
Jude smiled his million-dollar smile at me and pushed the French fries toward me again. “Eat.”
“Geng,” Meiling shouted from the front entryway of the large house, larger now that it only housed three people plus an occasional maid. “I’m going out; I’ll be back soon. Don’t forget to eat.” Meiling sighed when her step son didn’t respond, and just pushed her way through the snow.
Hangeng watched from her window as his step mom climbed gracefully into the car, and watched as it drove away. He frowned and turned away from his window, looking through his thoroughly destroyed room. Books were thrown everywhere - some torn - clothes littered the floor and his dresser was broken, as was the closet door. The only thing that remained intact was a picture of him kissing Henry - the one Zhoumi took on his phone. It was blown up and framed and Hankyung couldn’t bring himself to touch it.
“Geng,” came a sharp voice, from the other side of his door. He knew it all too well - it was Kuan. She came often, bringing him the homework he doesn’t do, cleaning his room only so he can re-destroy it, and to bring him the food the maid or his step-mother was too afraid to give him.
Kuan walked into the room, not waiting for Geng to let her. She balanced the tray of food in one hand while she cleared a space on the other’s desk. Hankyung looked at her - she wore a black velvet dress, black flats, and her hair curled into a bun at the top of her head, off of her back and shoulders. “If you had a date with Sungmin, why’d you bother coming here?”
Kuan glanced at Hankyung, who only looked back at her emotionlessly. “Eat.”
Hankyung continued to watch the Chinese woman as she began to pick up clothes from his floor, folding the clean ones and tossing the worn ones into a pile to be dealt with later. Hankyung didn’t leave the window sill.
Kuan looked up at him, towards the tray of food, back to Hankyung. “Eat,” she said, “before I shove it down your throat.” Hankyung snorted and looked out the window again. Kuan stared for a moment, before turning to the picture of him and Henry on the bedside table. “You miss him?”
Hankyung was quiet for a moment before he said, “he’s a bastard.”
Kuan sighed and continued to stare at the picture of her best friend. She wondered what he was doing - probably sleeping, with the time different zones. “You love him.”
“He doesn’t love me,” Hankyung said softly, almost inaudibly, but loud enough for Kuan to hear. She sighed, and put the now-folded jean pants aside, in a pile with the others.
“That’s a lie,” Kuan said, standing up, her eyes focusing on the back of Hankyung’s head. “And you know it.”
“What do I know?!” Hankyung snapped, jerking around to stare at Kuan. “If he loved me, why did he leave? Why did he not fight when I have him the ring? Why did he not yell when I told him I didn’t want it?”
“Because he’s scared.”
Henry was home late that night, Jude dropping him off and seeing him to the door around 2AM.
“Good work today, Henry,” Jude said, helping Henry through the door to his father’s house. Henry slowly, tiredly, pulled off the sweatshirt Jude had given him earlier that day, and his shoes. Jude helped him, easing the Loyola sweatshirt over the boy’s brown-haired head. “Sleep well, ok? I’ll be here tomorrow at 9.”
“9?” Henry asked through a yawn. “Why so late?”
“Are you complaining?” Jude asked with a laugh. “I’m cancelling some of your rehearsal time. You need a break.” Jude tossed the sweatshirt over his shoulder before kneeling and untying the shoes from Henry’s feet. He was amused watching Henry try and take them off without untying them, but had mercy on his young friend. “I wanted to make it later, but my superiors nixed it. They figure if you’re not practicing, you should be with your tutor.”
“Do you need help going upstairs?” Jude asked, eyeing Henry half asleep where he stood.
“No,” Henry slurred, “I’m fine. Thanks, Jude.”
Jude smiled and pressed a quick kiss to the younger man’s mocha-like cheeks. “Sleep well, kid.”
Henry smiled at him and watched Jude go before climbing the stairs and eventually falling into his bed, sound asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.
part 2~
Author: ich_heisse_kai
Pairing: Hanry
Rating: pg-15
Length: chaptered (17 of about 25)
Warning: boyxboy love, kissing,
Summary: “Yeah, right. And I’m the Queen of England,”
It’s been about a month now since I moved back to Canada and things have…faded. Faded like a watercolor painting with too much water, the colors bleeding and blending to create grey.
Days become routine for me - up early for rehearsals, a few hours of school surrounding my lunch break so I could possibly graduate from high school in the future, then more rehearsals only to go home to a dark and quiet house. My father and Benny go to bed early if all possible and wake later than I do.
Benny leads the life of a normal teenager: high school during the day, homework in the afternoon and friends in the meantime. Our father is the typical businessman slash vice president. He did loads of paperwork and always seemed to be on the phone with someone. But he managed to pull a few strings and land me with one of the best managers in the company, an Englishman named Jude. He was nice, he was kind, and he was handsome, with golden blonde hair and emerald eyes and a beautiful smile. He always seemed to be on my side, and even became something of a tutor for me.
Often, I find myself thinking about Hankyung.
I think about him rather often, more often than I would like, and I wonder if he ever thinks about me.
“Henry,” Jude said through a mouthful of French fries. It was strange hearing my name pronounced correctly after so many years of mispronunciation. “You should eat. You have a meeting with the CEO today and no time after to eat.”
“I’m not hungry,” I muttered, poking at the now strange Western food on my plate. After so many years of only Eastern, namely Chinese, food, Western was a little strange. Even growing up in the States I ate more Chinese food than American, unless it was one of those rare occasions I had forgotten my lunch or my friends treated me to something after school. French fries were strange now.
Jude frowned. “Not hungry my ass,” he said, “I haven’t seen you eat anything for the past few days, and neither has your father. Eat something,” he said seriously, “Now.”
“I eat,” I lied through my teeth. Absently, I wondered if he could tell. “I’m just… not hungry.”
“Yeah, right. And I’m the Queen of England,” Jude rolled his eyes. Well, with a Elizabethan dress, a little make-up and a wig, he could have fooled me. Suddenly, I thanked the Lord Jude hadn’t the ability to read minds.
Jude looked at me, emerald eyes shining with genuine worry. “C’mon,” he urged gently, “tell me what’s up.”
I pushed the little paper container of French fries away from me, towards the center of the table and puffed out my cheeks. I never told Jude anything from before I returned to Canada. He didn’t need to know anything, and none of it mattered anymore. All he knew was my mother and her husband lived in Korea and that I had a step brother. Nothing more. Finally, I said, “…It’s nothing.”
“With a long pause like that?” Jude asked, “I doubt its nothing. Henry,” suddenly, his tone changed, making me look up at the Englishman. “I know something’s wrong. Henry, I’m your manager, I have to take care of you know, whether you like it or not. Now spill.”
I chewed on my lip and wondered if I should tell him. Jude wouldn’t judge me, right? He’d understand…. “I miss him,” I mumbled under my breath. If he heard it, he heard it. If he didn’t, then I’m not going to repeat it.
Jude blinked. “Miss who?”
I sat back in my chair and tried not to fidget as I said, “Hankyung.”
“Your brother?” Jude asked, thin, dark golden eyebrows furrowed as he tried to recall my family lines. Jude, being the dedicated man he was, took it upon himself to memorize my family. He made it a goal to know everyone by their names, where they lived, everything. “Oh, well, its only natural to miss your brother.”
I opened my mouth to correct him, but I couldn’t. Maybe it was better if he thought Hankyung was simply my brother, no romantic feelings attached. For the past few months, I’ve been trying to erase all traces of that anyway. It was wrong - that’s why Zumu was on our cases most of the time, why my mother slapped me, and possibly why my dad contacted me after so long. My father seems very clueless as to that, though.
Jude smiled his million-dollar smile at me and pushed the French fries toward me again. “Eat.”
“Geng,” Meiling shouted from the front entryway of the large house, larger now that it only housed three people plus an occasional maid. “I’m going out; I’ll be back soon. Don’t forget to eat.” Meiling sighed when her step son didn’t respond, and just pushed her way through the snow.
Hangeng watched from her window as his step mom climbed gracefully into the car, and watched as it drove away. He frowned and turned away from his window, looking through his thoroughly destroyed room. Books were thrown everywhere - some torn - clothes littered the floor and his dresser was broken, as was the closet door. The only thing that remained intact was a picture of him kissing Henry - the one Zhoumi took on his phone. It was blown up and framed and Hankyung couldn’t bring himself to touch it.
“Geng,” came a sharp voice, from the other side of his door. He knew it all too well - it was Kuan. She came often, bringing him the homework he doesn’t do, cleaning his room only so he can re-destroy it, and to bring him the food the maid or his step-mother was too afraid to give him.
Kuan walked into the room, not waiting for Geng to let her. She balanced the tray of food in one hand while she cleared a space on the other’s desk. Hankyung looked at her - she wore a black velvet dress, black flats, and her hair curled into a bun at the top of her head, off of her back and shoulders. “If you had a date with Sungmin, why’d you bother coming here?”
Kuan glanced at Hankyung, who only looked back at her emotionlessly. “Eat.”
Hankyung continued to watch the Chinese woman as she began to pick up clothes from his floor, folding the clean ones and tossing the worn ones into a pile to be dealt with later. Hankyung didn’t leave the window sill.
Kuan looked up at him, towards the tray of food, back to Hankyung. “Eat,” she said, “before I shove it down your throat.” Hankyung snorted and looked out the window again. Kuan stared for a moment, before turning to the picture of him and Henry on the bedside table. “You miss him?”
Hankyung was quiet for a moment before he said, “he’s a bastard.”
Kuan sighed and continued to stare at the picture of her best friend. She wondered what he was doing - probably sleeping, with the time different zones. “You love him.”
“He doesn’t love me,” Hankyung said softly, almost inaudibly, but loud enough for Kuan to hear. She sighed, and put the now-folded jean pants aside, in a pile with the others.
“That’s a lie,” Kuan said, standing up, her eyes focusing on the back of Hankyung’s head. “And you know it.”
“What do I know?!” Hankyung snapped, jerking around to stare at Kuan. “If he loved me, why did he leave? Why did he not fight when I have him the ring? Why did he not yell when I told him I didn’t want it?”
“Because he’s scared.”
Henry was home late that night, Jude dropping him off and seeing him to the door around 2AM.
“Good work today, Henry,” Jude said, helping Henry through the door to his father’s house. Henry slowly, tiredly, pulled off the sweatshirt Jude had given him earlier that day, and his shoes. Jude helped him, easing the Loyola sweatshirt over the boy’s brown-haired head. “Sleep well, ok? I’ll be here tomorrow at 9.”
“9?” Henry asked through a yawn. “Why so late?”
“Are you complaining?” Jude asked with a laugh. “I’m cancelling some of your rehearsal time. You need a break.” Jude tossed the sweatshirt over his shoulder before kneeling and untying the shoes from Henry’s feet. He was amused watching Henry try and take them off without untying them, but had mercy on his young friend. “I wanted to make it later, but my superiors nixed it. They figure if you’re not practicing, you should be with your tutor.”
“Do you need help going upstairs?” Jude asked, eyeing Henry half asleep where he stood.
“No,” Henry slurred, “I’m fine. Thanks, Jude.”
Jude smiled and pressed a quick kiss to the younger man’s mocha-like cheeks. “Sleep well, kid.”
Henry smiled at him and watched Jude go before climbing the stairs and eventually falling into his bed, sound asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.
part 2~