poo on me
i have been in an emotional roller coaster with missing wheels, half a track, and sticky seats for ..like the past couple of weeks and i am SO ready to jump off.
i would first like to say that i am VERY sorry to one of my friends. i've made her think she's a burden. this is very very much NOT true.... hehe and i didnt see the 5 that was dropped in the floor and will be promptly returned ;P - i would also like to say that today was QUITE bad for me and anything pissy/insulting/stupid i said (or snapped) to anyone gives them a free Monica Slapping Pass - distributed at the Bitches 'R' Us near you.
whoa...katy and i went on an 80s-early 90s showtune spree the other day...some very annoying Rainbow Brite song just popped up >.< my ears hurt.
ok..here goes.
i have to get something out. out from where ..i dunno. but it feels sorta in the chest/heart/soul area. this is BIG. definitely a first as far as "makes you wanna cry everytime you think about it" feelings go (and ive thought about it pretty damned often for about a year and a 1/2 now...i dunno..im bad with time. but the only way to get it out is to..DUH NUH NUHHHH ..tell someone. >.< theres no one i CAN tell. most would just say im being stupid or lying or something like that. and the one person im dying to tell is definitely the LAST who would want to hear it. thats what hurts the most me thinks. ive lost a lot more than i thought...for stupid STUPID reasons...and i see no way to fix it. i need help - i would give anything for someone to just tell me what i should do...or that its okay (im leanin towards the "its okay" one...but it would have to be from one person ONLY to mean anything
i would first like to say that i am VERY sorry to one of my friends. i've made her think she's a burden. this is very very much NOT true.... hehe and i didnt see the 5 that was dropped in the floor and will be promptly returned ;P - i would also like to say that today was QUITE bad for me and anything pissy/insulting/stupid i said (or snapped) to anyone gives them a free Monica Slapping Pass - distributed at the Bitches 'R' Us near you.
whoa...katy and i went on an 80s-early 90s showtune spree the other day...some very annoying Rainbow Brite song just popped up >.< my ears hurt.
ok..here goes.
i have to get something out. out from where ..i dunno. but it feels sorta in the chest/heart/soul area. this is BIG. definitely a first as far as "makes you wanna cry everytime you think about it" feelings go (and ive thought about it pretty damned often for about a year and a 1/2 now...i dunno..im bad with time. but the only way to get it out is to..DUH NUH NUHHHH ..tell someone. >.< theres no one i CAN tell. most would just say im being stupid or lying or something like that. and the one person im dying to tell is definitely the LAST who would want to hear it. thats what hurts the most me thinks. ive lost a lot more than i thought...for stupid STUPID reasons...and i see no way to fix it. i need help - i would give anything for someone to just tell me what i should do...or that its okay (im leanin towards the "its okay" one...but it would have to be from one person ONLY to mean anything