Dylan Moran!!!! ~♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
I just came back from seeing Dylan Moran live in Perth and eheathatrjhgtrfjhgsfjhgsf!!!!!!!!
After waiting the ten hundred years it took for everyone to sit down so the show can start, he came out said hello and immediately started ragging on Perth XD ~ "So, the thing is... you know of course that the other side of Australia... well. They laugh at you." ~ "I read this in my tour guide book. And I thought it was rather rude. That they printed this. In my guide book it said that this is a place. With people. Who are aaaaaaaaaaaaall made out of concrete and have been rained on by acid rain. Personally, I thought that was a bit insulting." ~ along with this, they had his little table with wine and chocolates on the other back half of the stage XD so, when he was walking to it, he was saying "This is just like you! You could walk and walk and you still end up nowhere 'cause your so far away!"
The man got through a lot of subjects, even if it was by accident, but he was talking about the scanner machines in shops. By saying 'Blip!' XD ~ "Blip blip! You have a LOT of different cultures here; Irish, Greek, Italian. We don't want to hear Blip! We need to talk to actual people! to say 'no I don't want a bag, card, no I don't have a loyalty card I don't give a shit about it, don't mind the open packet of biscuits; I like to snack while I shop. Just put them in the bag. Did I say I didn't want one? Well of course I want one'. At least give the machines some personality! Like an Irish brogue to say 'oh those look like some fierce mangoes, what are you going to do with them?!'"
There was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much more that he talked and ranted and got off topic about! He mentioned batman, told someone in the audience that if they were going to cough then they needed to put some meaning and use into it (along with a demonstration), hobbies and and and--
He talked extensively about middle age. And about how you wake up and IMMEDIATELY the voices start talking XD "Right when your trying to eat your breakfast a voice is saying 'your going to eat the same disgusting shit that you ate yesterday are you!? You don't deserve breakfast!! ... And then, while your telling this voice to shut up so you can eat you start to hear the other one! And all it's saying is 'MORE JAM! MORE JAM! These other people don't need it! Use it all! Put some in your pocket to eat later in the bathroom and they'll never know!' And all this while your having breakfast. There's still the rest of the day left!" Along with more stuff about it that was far more awesome then needed XD
And (the last thing I'll rant about, I promise!) he was talking about dinner parties that people go to when they're older. And how people watch cookery programs and try and serve entrees to people who just want to eat normally XD He decided he would share his grandmother's special recipe. First to get a chicken (and to be fancy buy a dead one), then on the outside you stick little skewers of little foods that everyone enjoys. Like Twix and packets of chips. And then, you stuff a chocolate cake inside and yell 'SURPRISE!!!!!' when everyone thinks that it's over. XD
So. I've ranted far more then needed. If you know about Dylan Moran and how awesome he is, you understand. If you have no idea about who he is?
Well.
I think everything I've written has given you an excuse to youtube him.