GR8ST FEELS
Pre-6nin Eito, I used to watch chronicle, kanjam, janiben the week after their airing. Their discography, my default playlist. When I'm down, I rewatch fun Eito stuff. That's how much a part of my life they are. After Subaru's announcement, I barely watched anything Eito. I only watched one chronicle ep, and the final subaru ep. I also watched his 3 final performances with 8, all while crying. I wasn't able to listen to them for a few weeks. When I finally started listening again, I skipped Romanesque because it would make me cry again. Haven't listened to or watched any of their new stuff (koko ni, i did listen to). I only watched the genki con dvd once because I didn't like how they were incomplete. It didn't sound right to me, especially the band parts. That's how devastated I was. It's not like I wanted to stop Subaru from leaving, but it just hurts to lose a member. I've been stanning them for 12 years, and it felt like losing a part of your life.
Though I had been listening to them the past few weeks, I didn't know how prepared I was to see them as 6. I still cried seeing their koko ni performance at msute, esp at the partまた逢えたら歌おう(probably because it's the only thing I understood). So I knew I was definitely going to cry seeing them live, most probably during romanesque. I cried to that song during Jussai. At that time, I was overcome with emotions during Yoko's speech - all my feelings as a fan all those years, like how ecstatic my cousins and I were when they first got number 1 at oricon for kanfuu (we probably bought 7 copies lol), and when we heard Yoko's mom died, we cried as well. All the emotions rushed in and I realized once again how much I love them as a group, and as people. So I assumed that song would do me in.
Intro video plays, it's a bit futuristic and matrix-esque. The words "new world" and "reborn" flashed. That did it. The flood gates opened LOL and it did not close for a long time. It was tears-rolling-down-and-sniffling. I feel so sorry to the people around me because I was sniffing the whole time. During the first songs, it hit me hard, especially during Subaru's parts. I noticed they used a lot of red light during band parts. It was sad, but you also see the others working hard so you feel proud. By the time they played BJ, during Subaru's solo (bridge) all the lights were red. That just hit me soooo damn hard I started ugly crying, sobs and all. I did not stop until Roy shouted "Bitch!" Because that confused me a lot. Lol then I believe I cried some more before MC. Maru is just one happy person and his gags made me laugh so hard. I was okay after MC. The dance songs were fun (I super love pan panda). Except for king of where I got teary-eyed during SubaRyo part, that Ryo now sang alone. At around this point I was already drained. Life, cry, yes. Romanesque, teary-eyed.
The first half of the con was for feeling sad. Like, reality hits you in the face, like a train hitting you fast and heavy, and you couldn't do anything about it. At around 2/3 of the con, I was starting to feel thankful that they remain strong as 6, and they WILL BE fine. Thankful I got to see them as 7 the last two cons. Thankful I still get to see them despite my financial difficulties. Thankful for a lot of things. And proud, knowing they'll power through anything. Scandals and all lol
It was a mixture of these, but more on being thankful and proud, and overflowing love for them that made my cry a lot (so much that my eyes are swollen). I'm proud to still be an eighter, and I think I'll still be able to support them for as long as I want to. I'm proud that they are a group that brings me joy (but sometimes disappointment because of those sleeping around scandals!!) and pain and excitement and good music and entertainment and a lot of other things. I love that they're a group that thinks of their fans. I may be being overly dtamatic here, but, as I've said on a tweet before, I basically have no hobby or life outside work, besides eito. I've been a fan for a long time that I feel like they're already part of my life. Idk. Point is, it's almost 3am and I'm sleepy, but I super love eito, still. I don't know for how long, but for now, I'll be sad and happy at the same time.
Though I had been listening to them the past few weeks, I didn't know how prepared I was to see them as 6. I still cried seeing their koko ni performance at msute, esp at the partまた逢えたら歌おう(probably because it's the only thing I understood). So I knew I was definitely going to cry seeing them live, most probably during romanesque. I cried to that song during Jussai. At that time, I was overcome with emotions during Yoko's speech - all my feelings as a fan all those years, like how ecstatic my cousins and I were when they first got number 1 at oricon for kanfuu (we probably bought 7 copies lol), and when we heard Yoko's mom died, we cried as well. All the emotions rushed in and I realized once again how much I love them as a group, and as people. So I assumed that song would do me in.
Intro video plays, it's a bit futuristic and matrix-esque. The words "new world" and "reborn" flashed. That did it. The flood gates opened LOL and it did not close for a long time. It was tears-rolling-down-and-sniffling. I feel so sorry to the people around me because I was sniffing the whole time. During the first songs, it hit me hard, especially during Subaru's parts. I noticed they used a lot of red light during band parts. It was sad, but you also see the others working hard so you feel proud. By the time they played BJ, during Subaru's solo (bridge) all the lights were red. That just hit me soooo damn hard I started ugly crying, sobs and all. I did not stop until Roy shouted "Bitch!" Because that confused me a lot. Lol then I believe I cried some more before MC. Maru is just one happy person and his gags made me laugh so hard. I was okay after MC. The dance songs were fun (I super love pan panda). Except for king of where I got teary-eyed during SubaRyo part, that Ryo now sang alone. At around this point I was already drained. Life, cry, yes. Romanesque, teary-eyed.
The first half of the con was for feeling sad. Like, reality hits you in the face, like a train hitting you fast and heavy, and you couldn't do anything about it. At around 2/3 of the con, I was starting to feel thankful that they remain strong as 6, and they WILL BE fine. Thankful I got to see them as 7 the last two cons. Thankful I still get to see them despite my financial difficulties. Thankful for a lot of things. And proud, knowing they'll power through anything. Scandals and all lol
It was a mixture of these, but more on being thankful and proud, and overflowing love for them that made my cry a lot (so much that my eyes are swollen). I'm proud to still be an eighter, and I think I'll still be able to support them for as long as I want to. I'm proud that they are a group that brings me joy (but sometimes disappointment because of those sleeping around scandals!!) and pain and excitement and good music and entertainment and a lot of other things. I love that they're a group that thinks of their fans. I may be being overly dtamatic here, but, as I've said on a tweet before, I basically have no hobby or life outside work, besides eito. I've been a fan for a long time that I feel like they're already part of my life. Idk. Point is, it's almost 3am and I'm sleepy, but I super love eito, still. I don't know for how long, but for now, I'll be sad and happy at the same time.