Stories of mankind
QOTD: "If someone wants a sheep, then that means that he exists."
So despite my best efforts, I was unable to avoid the customary birthday celebration at work. When asked if I wanted a cake, I said no and cited dietary limitations. When pressed, I said no sugar, no carbs. This put the planner in quite the quandary. She asked about fruit. I said fruit was fine. Just plain fruit? Yes, just plain fruit. No sugary, viscous liquid poured all over it and topped with whipped polymer. Just fruit. Maybe just something from the store? Yes, that would be easiest. So, despite my pleading, they did the celebration anyway. And guess what they had. They had angel food cake (they just couldn't do it) with strawberries and they also had cantelope balls. (we note at this point that cantelope was recently on MSN's Top 5 list of most dangerous foods to eat) Now (I'd like to say) I appreciate all the trouble they went to, but when I said fruit, I was expecting more than one. You know, a fruit platter or something. But 1) they didn't honor my request for no celebration and 2) they bought a cake explicitly against my wishes. Why was I even consulted? And no, I did not eat any cake. That was not the agreement. I courteously ate some strawberries (intended for the cake) and cantelope and that was that. If they want to fill their faces with cake, I would truly rather them not make me their excuse. At least it was mostly painless and Kim got in a good zombie joke.
Slow work day otherwise. One Army photo. One Marine. Tomorrow I have an 0700 shoot. National Prayer Breakfast. Is anything more tedious? And I truly loathe going to events like these because they'll expect me to eat. At least I don't have to pay for it. That shit wouldn't fly. Anyway, all that means is that I have to be to work 15-20 minutes earlier tomorrow. As if I didn't have to be there early enough. Also a shoot in the hospital tomorrow somewhere in the basement. God help me. If you've never been in this medical center, you can't possibly understand. 80% of the directions I get involve about two sentences and terminate with, "then look like you're lost and someone will help you." I'm not kidding. You'd think if you were going to rebuild and renovate a facility of that size, knowing that it's a labyrinth, you'd engineer some kind of innovative navigation system. At the very least put up maps at every other corner. It's like the goddamn MK Utilidor but only if there was no theme of circles and if the tunnels were sadistic behavioral psychologists with amnesia. I know you people think I'm kidding. It really is that bad.
Hooray for birthday things! Money from parents and grandparents. Books and tea things from parents. A considerable gift card to Lowe's from Alicia and Daniel. A voicemail from Sean at 12:12 to make sure he was the first to wish me happy birthday. Tarot.com's birthday incentives have gone to shit. But Origins was kind enough to update their registry and sent me an online-friendly version of a print offer they'd sent me earlier. Erik gave me a George Foreman grill in exchange for the tea I gave him, so I've been making brats, which makes me happy since I can't have a real grill on my balcony due to fire codes and boiled or fried brats just are not the same. I took some aloe dessert to give to Jamey, but he's off on an assignment somewhere, so I gave it to Kirk and he was pleased. I also entertained him with the story of the starfruit juice.
Okay, time to do things.
So despite my best efforts, I was unable to avoid the customary birthday celebration at work. When asked if I wanted a cake, I said no and cited dietary limitations. When pressed, I said no sugar, no carbs. This put the planner in quite the quandary. She asked about fruit. I said fruit was fine. Just plain fruit? Yes, just plain fruit. No sugary, viscous liquid poured all over it and topped with whipped polymer. Just fruit. Maybe just something from the store? Yes, that would be easiest. So, despite my pleading, they did the celebration anyway. And guess what they had. They had angel food cake (they just couldn't do it) with strawberries and they also had cantelope balls. (we note at this point that cantelope was recently on MSN's Top 5 list of most dangerous foods to eat) Now (I'd like to say) I appreciate all the trouble they went to, but when I said fruit, I was expecting more than one. You know, a fruit platter or something. But 1) they didn't honor my request for no celebration and 2) they bought a cake explicitly against my wishes. Why was I even consulted? And no, I did not eat any cake. That was not the agreement. I courteously ate some strawberries (intended for the cake) and cantelope and that was that. If they want to fill their faces with cake, I would truly rather them not make me their excuse. At least it was mostly painless and Kim got in a good zombie joke.
Slow work day otherwise. One Army photo. One Marine. Tomorrow I have an 0700 shoot. National Prayer Breakfast. Is anything more tedious? And I truly loathe going to events like these because they'll expect me to eat. At least I don't have to pay for it. That shit wouldn't fly. Anyway, all that means is that I have to be to work 15-20 minutes earlier tomorrow. As if I didn't have to be there early enough. Also a shoot in the hospital tomorrow somewhere in the basement. God help me. If you've never been in this medical center, you can't possibly understand. 80% of the directions I get involve about two sentences and terminate with, "then look like you're lost and someone will help you." I'm not kidding. You'd think if you were going to rebuild and renovate a facility of that size, knowing that it's a labyrinth, you'd engineer some kind of innovative navigation system. At the very least put up maps at every other corner. It's like the goddamn MK Utilidor but only if there was no theme of circles and if the tunnels were sadistic behavioral psychologists with amnesia. I know you people think I'm kidding. It really is that bad.
Hooray for birthday things! Money from parents and grandparents. Books and tea things from parents. A considerable gift card to Lowe's from Alicia and Daniel. A voicemail from Sean at 12:12 to make sure he was the first to wish me happy birthday. Tarot.com's birthday incentives have gone to shit. But Origins was kind enough to update their registry and sent me an online-friendly version of a print offer they'd sent me earlier. Erik gave me a George Foreman grill in exchange for the tea I gave him, so I've been making brats, which makes me happy since I can't have a real grill on my balcony due to fire codes and boiled or fried brats just are not the same. I took some aloe dessert to give to Jamey, but he's off on an assignment somewhere, so I gave it to Kirk and he was pleased. I also entertained him with the story of the starfruit juice.
Okay, time to do things.