(no subject)
Alright, so the way I acted was just plain childish. It was bratty, it was immature, it was selfish, it was VAIN. I should have just sucked it up and taken the damn picture, but I didn't. And there's nothing I can do about that now.
I shouldn't have cancelled. I need to learn that sometimes things for me are actually for other people. I don't need a picture of myself. The only reason people take senior pictures is to give them to other people. It's not for me at all. It's for my mom, and my mom's friends.. So when I decided that I didn't want to take the picture because I knew it would be terrible, I was letting my mom down.
It's probably too late to reschedule, it's probably too late to get the pictures before I'm graduated. It's all my fault and I feel terrible. It's not just the way I acted; it's the way I am. I am all those things: childish, bratty, immature, selfish, vain.
I do still feel the same way, though. I am still giving up. I lost, okay? Are you happy now? I tried, I struggled, I lost. I am lost and I have no idea how to find myself.
I shouldn't have cancelled. I need to learn that sometimes things for me are actually for other people. I don't need a picture of myself. The only reason people take senior pictures is to give them to other people. It's not for me at all. It's for my mom, and my mom's friends.. So when I decided that I didn't want to take the picture because I knew it would be terrible, I was letting my mom down.
It's probably too late to reschedule, it's probably too late to get the pictures before I'm graduated. It's all my fault and I feel terrible. It's not just the way I acted; it's the way I am. I am all those things: childish, bratty, immature, selfish, vain.
I do still feel the same way, though. I am still giving up. I lost, okay? Are you happy now? I tried, I struggled, I lost. I am lost and I have no idea how to find myself.