and now i'm in florida
so - i know it's been a while.
to start with, the ride down here was really alot better than i expected it to be. char and nicole were much more supportive than distracting and we had such a blast singing and reminising (sp?) - apparently nicole and i are totally alike. everything one of us said the other totally agreed with. (you rock!! where are my lardy bars? my stash is going to run out soon... my teddy bear is getting fat he's eating all of mine)
anyway, once i got down here i found out i got kick-butt grades and i made the deans list and got a post-card inviting me to join the honors society. yeah right, like these grades are ever going to happen again... (actually, they kind of have to or i dont' really graduate...) and after all the hassle getting down here to make sure i could take classes or get a job or something (neither of which i had last summer) i have no job, and there are no classes for me to take!!! oi. i did find out abotu a couple options today that i will look into tomorrow.
so, i have been swimming in teh morning (bizzare show of will to exercise - there must be something in the water here...) and then running to rehersal. there is a small youth theatre that does a show every couple of weeks and intensely reherses for 10-12 days before the performance. i have been helping run lines and push teh play button on the CD player - tomorrow night is opening night so today was dress. and they suck. paul, will, jericka, danny, allie, and rebbeca don't suck - btu that's only like 3% of teh cast!! they're doing west side story and one of the tony's (double cast leads) couldn't get through a single scene completely without forgetting (completely) his lines!! the director is ready to cut "Tonight" as a song b/c that sucks too. you can't have WSS without tonight!! it just doens't work that way! anyway, they have no crew, but apparently i have just become what i always end up doing - miguel (director) asked me to stay backstage all weekend and keep kids in line, help facilitate scene changes, and fix mics and make-up and such. woot for me...
aside from this little jump into WSS, i have also just become teh official alto for our church worship group - charlynn was supposed to do it but she keeps running off and doing other stuff. i don't mind, in fact it's kinda nice to find somewhere to sing again.
lastly, i have started my independant study with "early modern europe - 1450-15something or other" again, woot for me. oh yeah, and i've been unpacking and organizing all my crap down here and turning this room into "my" room. so far so good.
as far as insight into my brain (since this is what this is) - i e-mailed my ex and said goodbye. he e-mailed me back and said ~"ok, fine then." but of course, that's not good enough for me. now that he's actually acknowledged my existance i had to email him BACK and double check to see if he really wanted me out of his life. now, seeing as he has not written back a second time, i'm assuming that's a yes... (wait for the update that says i shouldn't assume or jump to conclusions or i should just learn to keep my big mouth shut...) a big part of me is ok with this, and a big part of me is disturbed by the idea of losing any kind of friend, even if it is an ex.
partially because of this show thing, and partially because the only ppl i know i know through char, but i am STILL hanging out with highschoolers. Ai querida, que es esto? (i don't think that's really real words, but i don't really care) i met one girl my age, but only breifly. the kids here are SOOOO nice (right nicole?!) and they are all so close. i know i have close friends, but it seems like i have a bunch of ppl i can hang out with one on one and it's such a strech to get ppl together, and so few of them get along, or really have much in common anymore. it's too bizzare being jealous of my sister. she's a punk!! (i love you =) and these kids are rednecks... BUT i've adopted at least 3 of the kids down here (btw genna, one is goign to live in our closet as our pet. he's adorable!!! 12yrs old and jsut the cutest thing you'd ever meet) and the ppl at church have totally adopted me. a year ago i refused to come down because i didnt' think i'd connect with anyone. last winter i started to like it. now, it makes most sense to go back and finish my school there and i'd miss certain ppl terribly - but i love being here. i love what it does to me. i love who i can be with no expectations or history or whatever.
i'm scared by how much i would be willing to stay here. i would be sacrificing a lot ( i know!) and there's so much up there that would beg me to stay. but if i had to make the decision to split - i don't know what i'd chose.
it's like i'm a different person here, with a different life. it's really hard for me to stay connected and remember the chicago charissa. maybe it's just late. maybe i'm tired (yeah, i'm only tired every minute of every day now - seriously, don't know why, a little concerned...) maybe this is just what happens when you move out of what you know. i guess we'll see.
to start with, the ride down here was really alot better than i expected it to be. char and nicole were much more supportive than distracting and we had such a blast singing and reminising (sp?) - apparently nicole and i are totally alike. everything one of us said the other totally agreed with. (you rock!! where are my lardy bars? my stash is going to run out soon... my teddy bear is getting fat he's eating all of mine)
anyway, once i got down here i found out i got kick-butt grades and i made the deans list and got a post-card inviting me to join the honors society. yeah right, like these grades are ever going to happen again... (actually, they kind of have to or i dont' really graduate...) and after all the hassle getting down here to make sure i could take classes or get a job or something (neither of which i had last summer) i have no job, and there are no classes for me to take!!! oi. i did find out abotu a couple options today that i will look into tomorrow.
so, i have been swimming in teh morning (bizzare show of will to exercise - there must be something in the water here...) and then running to rehersal. there is a small youth theatre that does a show every couple of weeks and intensely reherses for 10-12 days before the performance. i have been helping run lines and push teh play button on the CD player - tomorrow night is opening night so today was dress. and they suck. paul, will, jericka, danny, allie, and rebbeca don't suck - btu that's only like 3% of teh cast!! they're doing west side story and one of the tony's (double cast leads) couldn't get through a single scene completely without forgetting (completely) his lines!! the director is ready to cut "Tonight" as a song b/c that sucks too. you can't have WSS without tonight!! it just doens't work that way! anyway, they have no crew, but apparently i have just become what i always end up doing - miguel (director) asked me to stay backstage all weekend and keep kids in line, help facilitate scene changes, and fix mics and make-up and such. woot for me...
aside from this little jump into WSS, i have also just become teh official alto for our church worship group - charlynn was supposed to do it but she keeps running off and doing other stuff. i don't mind, in fact it's kinda nice to find somewhere to sing again.
lastly, i have started my independant study with "early modern europe - 1450-15something or other" again, woot for me. oh yeah, and i've been unpacking and organizing all my crap down here and turning this room into "my" room. so far so good.
as far as insight into my brain (since this is what this is) - i e-mailed my ex and said goodbye. he e-mailed me back and said ~"ok, fine then." but of course, that's not good enough for me. now that he's actually acknowledged my existance i had to email him BACK and double check to see if he really wanted me out of his life. now, seeing as he has not written back a second time, i'm assuming that's a yes... (wait for the update that says i shouldn't assume or jump to conclusions or i should just learn to keep my big mouth shut...) a big part of me is ok with this, and a big part of me is disturbed by the idea of losing any kind of friend, even if it is an ex.
partially because of this show thing, and partially because the only ppl i know i know through char, but i am STILL hanging out with highschoolers. Ai querida, que es esto? (i don't think that's really real words, but i don't really care) i met one girl my age, but only breifly. the kids here are SOOOO nice (right nicole?!) and they are all so close. i know i have close friends, but it seems like i have a bunch of ppl i can hang out with one on one and it's such a strech to get ppl together, and so few of them get along, or really have much in common anymore. it's too bizzare being jealous of my sister. she's a punk!! (i love you =) and these kids are rednecks... BUT i've adopted at least 3 of the kids down here (btw genna, one is goign to live in our closet as our pet. he's adorable!!! 12yrs old and jsut the cutest thing you'd ever meet) and the ppl at church have totally adopted me. a year ago i refused to come down because i didnt' think i'd connect with anyone. last winter i started to like it. now, it makes most sense to go back and finish my school there and i'd miss certain ppl terribly - but i love being here. i love what it does to me. i love who i can be with no expectations or history or whatever.
i'm scared by how much i would be willing to stay here. i would be sacrificing a lot ( i know!) and there's so much up there that would beg me to stay. but if i had to make the decision to split - i don't know what i'd chose.
it's like i'm a different person here, with a different life. it's really hard for me to stay connected and remember the chicago charissa. maybe it's just late. maybe i'm tired (yeah, i'm only tired every minute of every day now - seriously, don't know why, a little concerned...) maybe this is just what happens when you move out of what you know. i guess we'll see.