I worry...
~that I won't graduate, that I'm not smart enough
~the end of Carolina means the end of us
~my fears about lyme disease are irrational, and that they're not
~about you not worrying and what that means
~I'll never live up to my full potential
~I don't have a full potential
~about thinking about us too much
~that I really am on the level of first graders
~about moving back to California
~that you won't follow and will be ok with it
~I'll never "make my mark"; have a profound effect on the world/someone else
~about the definition of "next year"
~about the definition of "next month"
~our quality time does not compare to time apart
~I'll never be able to say "enough", and that you will
~eventually all my friends will fade away, about what that says about me
~about apathetically hating her, and your feelings for her
~about biding time
~about things that go bump in the night
~being late for everything will give me a bad reputation
~communicating via text is a temporary patch for being lonely
~my plans for the future will never come to fruition
~about being responsible
~about Frost-y hours before sleep
~that societies which call for seizing the day would laugh at me
~that I'm jaded
~about traveling the world, or not, with you, or not
~about 2.5 nonexistent children, suburbs and PTA meetings, about living in a commune because I can't/don't want to fit the norm
~that I'm not Puerto Rican enough, Black enough, enough period
~about "love" turning into "obligation"
~that in the end, you'll end up with someone else, her
~I never cried enough so this school year I'm making up for years' worth of tears
~about not having you as my friend for always and a day
~about being replaceable
~I'd never be the one to start a revolution, or that I'd get bored with any cause I'd join
~that I'm already burnt out, that a Ph.D is out of my grasp
~about disappointing everyone
~that I'm not longer an overall "happy" person, about how to get back to that
~about trichotillomania
~about worrying
~about the long term effects of adderol
~about Stendhal's Syndrome
~not knowing enough to keep you interested
~I don't take things seriously enough
~I need a hobby
~I'll never be able to keep a clean room, let alone an entire house
~about never being the stuff dreams are made of
~about never being the kind of girl about which poems are written, about never being someone's muse
~about never being my own muse
~about hitting my prime
~I'm too old at 22
~there's a reason I don't sing in the shower or car anymore
~I've reached that point with too many people where we don't have much to say during meals, phone conversations, etc because we're caught up
~I miss "the little things"
~I'm intimidated by those you've loved before
~that I'm the "just for now" girl
~I'm missing the here and now; the "best days" of my life
~one day I will smell your scent and the first thing I think of won't be you
~about zombie escape routes, vantage points and weapons
~I'll never have another anniversary
~saccharine "I love you"s are the artificial sweeteners of my existence
~change is bad
~I'm too old to be scared of the dark
~I'll never been fluent in Spanish, let alone ever learn Arabic
~Bojangles will go out of business and I will lose 15 lbs that very moment but have a broken heart
~I'll never start/complete my list of things to do before I die because I'm too lazy
~I eat too much
~I need to run more
~I love too much
~I need to network more
~this is stupid
~I need to study for finals
~this list makes me neurotic...
::delete::
~the end of Carolina means the end of us
~my fears about lyme disease are irrational, and that they're not
~about you not worrying and what that means
~I'll never live up to my full potential
~I don't have a full potential
~about thinking about us too much
~that I really am on the level of first graders
~about moving back to California
~that you won't follow and will be ok with it
~I'll never "make my mark"; have a profound effect on the world/someone else
~about the definition of "next year"
~about the definition of "next month"
~our quality time does not compare to time apart
~I'll never be able to say "enough", and that you will
~eventually all my friends will fade away, about what that says about me
~about apathetically hating her, and your feelings for her
~about biding time
~about things that go bump in the night
~being late for everything will give me a bad reputation
~communicating via text is a temporary patch for being lonely
~my plans for the future will never come to fruition
~about being responsible
~about Frost-y hours before sleep
~that societies which call for seizing the day would laugh at me
~that I'm jaded
~about traveling the world, or not, with you, or not
~about 2.5 nonexistent children, suburbs and PTA meetings, about living in a commune because I can't/don't want to fit the norm
~that I'm not Puerto Rican enough, Black enough, enough period
~about "love" turning into "obligation"
~that in the end, you'll end up with someone else, her
~I never cried enough so this school year I'm making up for years' worth of tears
~about not having you as my friend for always and a day
~about being replaceable
~I'd never be the one to start a revolution, or that I'd get bored with any cause I'd join
~that I'm already burnt out, that a Ph.D is out of my grasp
~about disappointing everyone
~that I'm not longer an overall "happy" person, about how to get back to that
~about trichotillomania
~about worrying
~about the long term effects of adderol
~about Stendhal's Syndrome
~not knowing enough to keep you interested
~I don't take things seriously enough
~I need a hobby
~I'll never be able to keep a clean room, let alone an entire house
~about never being the stuff dreams are made of
~about never being the kind of girl about which poems are written, about never being someone's muse
~about never being my own muse
~about hitting my prime
~I'm too old at 22
~there's a reason I don't sing in the shower or car anymore
~I've reached that point with too many people where we don't have much to say during meals, phone conversations, etc because we're caught up
~I miss "the little things"
~I'm intimidated by those you've loved before
~that I'm the "just for now" girl
~I'm missing the here and now; the "best days" of my life
~one day I will smell your scent and the first thing I think of won't be you
~about zombie escape routes, vantage points and weapons
~I'll never have another anniversary
~saccharine "I love you"s are the artificial sweeteners of my existence
~change is bad
~I'm too old to be scared of the dark
~I'll never been fluent in Spanish, let alone ever learn Arabic
~Bojangles will go out of business and I will lose 15 lbs that very moment but have a broken heart
~I'll never start/complete my list of things to do before I die because I'm too lazy
~I eat too much
~I need to run more
~I love too much
~I need to network more
~this is stupid
~I need to study for finals
~this list makes me neurotic...
::delete::