Bounty Hunters in Kanto and ~Alejandro~ [text]

[icequeen_aran]

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MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE FIREHOUSE

[pedaltothemetal]

[There is a Falcon in the doorway. He has a pillow stuffed under his shirt.]

Samus, there's something I need to tell you.

[icequeen_aran]

[.....What. SHE IS NOT SURE IF SHE SHOULD BE AMUSED OR CONCERNED OR]

Is that my pillow?

[pedaltothemetal]

No.

I am going to run away with Alejandro because I am pregnant with his child.

[icequeen_aran]

Douglas... how could you?

When were you going to tell me?

[pedaltothemetal]

Right now.

Yesterday we fell madly in love and now I am pregnant.

[icequeen_aran]

You are very pregnant for one day. It must be twins.

I'm afraid I have a terrible secret too.

[pedaltothemetal]

Alejandro is just that good.

What is your terrible secret?

[icequeen_aran]

I am Alejandro's mother.

Where do you think he got it from?

[pedaltothemetal]

[HE BACKS INTO THE DOOR FRAME AND CLUTCHES HIS PILLOW

SHOCK!!]

That's not true. That's impossible.

[icequeen_aran]

It's more likely than you think.

You are carrying my grandchild.

[pedaltothemetal]

[The pillow is sort of slipping out from under his shirt. He looks down and then, with deadpan delivery.]

Well, you've shocked me into labor.

[icequeen_aran]

[She brings her hands in front of her face as if she is VERY SHOCKED]

The babies!

[Suddenly she is getting up and trying to scoop Falcon in her arms bridal style]

There's no time to waste. We will have to preform a Cesarean section or you will die.

[pedaltothemetal]

But how can I trust you with the babies when you have been lying to me all my life.

[It's babies now, apparently.]

[icequeen_aran]

[Clearly twins.]

You'll just... have to trust me.

Or you will die, like I said.

[pedaltothemetal]

[Douglas Jr. and Dougina]

No. Alejandro will come for me.

[icequeen_aran]

You're breaking water.

[WEEOOOWEOOOO RUNNING YOU TO THE AMBERLANCE OF THE NEAREST COUCH]