Unexplained transformations compendium [audio]
--PERSONAL DATA LOG 20XX04.01.027 SAMUS ARAN. RECORDING...--
Computer, pull up any recorded data logs regarding transformations in the school. Physical, mental; anything. I'm trying to determine if there's any similarities in all of them...
PROCESSING DATA...
ENTRY: MAY 17TH, 2010
Late, on the evening of May 16th, I encounter a violent, feral Charizard in the school's hallways, attacking Blacky.
ENTRY: MARCH 13TH, 2010
Liliana makes a post to his network journal, stating he is finding his way around the school better and he wants to go tell "Leader". He says, "I am sure he will be very happy." Not a few minutes later he makes another post displaying entirely different speech mannerisms and a blatant hatred for Olimar, a complete 180 in personality. He states someone went and vandalized his office. Thankfully, Olimar was away at the time so no harm befell him but The timing of Lily's posts did nothing to quell my immediate suspicion of him being the guilty party. He returned to normal a week later, on March 22nd. He appeared to have no recollection of what happened or how it happened.
ENTRY: FEBRUARY 19TH, 2010
Snake contacts me and explains how his weekend went, summarized best in his words, "Otacon and I were stung by drugged cupid's arrows and we went on a date together." Later the conversation revealed the arrows were tipped with some kind of... temporary mood or personality altering drug, or at least that is Snake's belief. I can only wonder to what extent it really... Backtracking on the school's network, I have to agree with him, since numerous people seemed effected by "cupid bots". Teenager drama everywhere. Eggman is almost certainly the culprit, though he furiously denies all accusations. Fat bastard.
YOU WERE OFF CAMPUS AT THE TIME, IF I RECALL.
Yeah... thankfully. Not that my "double" dinner date was that much better.
ENTRY: JANUARY 3RD, 2010
I was none the wiser when Max and Bulba swapped back in January, oops. Jeff unexpectedly falls victim to some strange transformation and turns into a Mr. Saturn. Jeff retained a few physical features unique to him such as his freckles and glasses, and knowledge of who he was and who he knew strangely enough. Falcon and I took turns babysitting him until he returned to normal one week later, as jokingly predicted.
ENTRY: DECEMBER 24TH, 2009
Christmas Eve. I experienced a size transformation due to my foolish consumption of a muffin laced with... some sort of shrinking mushroom, courtesy of Louie, Kamek and Bowser en route to Falcon's place for dinner. I shrank down to no taller than 6 inches in height. The effect was remedied shortly after I was rescued but that was needless to say the worst Christmas ever.
ENTRY: DECEMBER 8TH, 2009
Falcon informs me that Olimar has transformed into a red pikmin. He has no idea how it happened. This effect, not surprisingly, lasts approximately a week before Olimar returns to normal. There were no distinguishing features unique to Olimar while he was in this form from what I could see, unlike with Jeff when he transformed into a Mr. Saturn.
ENTRY: OCTOBER 2009
...The last week of this month was met with ominous rain and thunderstorms, and slow, dark shifts in personality for several faculty and students, interestingly all Pokemon. Jeff is attacked by Nyx and he theorized it might be "Pokemon rabies", though a gunship scan later gives him a clean bill of health. Other attacks are reported, at least four of them, and I even intervened a fight between Blacky and Lucas personally. She later returns to normal, her personal account of the event, though vague, is probably the best glimpse into this transformation. Everything seemed to climax the night of Halloween after it finally stopped raining, and the school became infested with... strange digital zombie creatures. Power was shut off, and anyone with super natural abilities could not use them. For example, Falcon could not combust, King Boo could not become ethereal and go through doors, and was I was not anywhere near my full strength. Anyone who simply came into physical contact with the creatures also became... zombie-like. There was nothing we could do when Ionia... Everyone and everything returned to normal by sunrise.
ENTRY: SEPTEMBER 12TH, 2009
Falcon, much to my chagrin transformed into a rambunctious, whiny, over-confident 17 year old. When I asked him about it, he explained that there was weird light and "everything got trippy for a second." He ran wild for a week under numerous aliases; notable mishaps included setting part of the library on fire, burning off Olimar's eyebrows, and disrupting my... temporary substitution of Home Economics class with icing in inappropriate places. Acts clearly reflective of his teenage mentality. Also interesting to note, his body did not retain any scars he had acquired over the years. They returned as he returned back to his normal age.
ENTRY: JULY 2009
Hn... who could forget Nancy's Infamous Bake Sale which resulted in a mass age-reversal across the entire school? Teachers became younger, students became older. The source was traced back to some strange ingredient. The effects lasted one week. My recollections of it all are fuzzy at best. I do remember those nightmares near the end of the week. Something I'd rather not remember...
ENTRY: JANUARY 2009
The school-wide gender switch... I really don't want to talk about that one. We already traced that one back to a contaminate in the water anyway, so there's no mystery here. This lasted roughly a week, if I recall. One... horribly awkward week.
ANY PREVIOUS ENTRIES SHARE COMMON KEYWORDS, "HEART SWAP" AND "GOD DAMN MANAPHY".
...Ha yeah. He's since left the school, all those instances can be confirmed. There was Falcon and Ionia, Goose and Surge, Falcon and Olimar, Jeff and myself, Snake and Ocelot... Liquid... Ocelot., Otacon and Professor Oak, probably more I can't recall at the moment, or swaps I didn't experience first hand. They were all very frustrating...
WITH THE EXCEPTION OF HALLOWEEN AND JULY, THESE TRANSFORMATIONS SEEM TO LAST ON AVERAGE: ONE WEEK.
Right, but that doesn't really bring me any closer to how or why, or who. Hm...
I should see what Ollie thinks of this...
--...END RECORDING.--
Computer, pull up any recorded data logs regarding transformations in the school. Physical, mental; anything. I'm trying to determine if there's any similarities in all of them...
PROCESSING DATA...
ENTRY: MAY 17TH, 2010
Late, on the evening of May 16th, I encounter a violent, feral Charizard in the school's hallways, attacking Blacky.
ENTRY: MARCH 13TH, 2010
Liliana makes a post to his network journal, stating he is finding his way around the school better and he wants to go tell "Leader". He says, "I am sure he will be very happy." Not a few minutes later he makes another post displaying entirely different speech mannerisms and a blatant hatred for Olimar, a complete 180 in personality. He states someone went and vandalized his office. Thankfully, Olimar was away at the time so no harm befell him but The timing of Lily's posts did nothing to quell my immediate suspicion of him being the guilty party. He returned to normal a week later, on March 22nd. He appeared to have no recollection of what happened or how it happened.
ENTRY: FEBRUARY 19TH, 2010
Snake contacts me and explains how his weekend went, summarized best in his words, "Otacon and I were stung by drugged cupid's arrows and we went on a date together." Later the conversation revealed the arrows were tipped with some kind of... temporary mood or personality altering drug, or at least that is Snake's belief. I can only wonder to what extent it really... Backtracking on the school's network, I have to agree with him, since numerous people seemed effected by "cupid bots". Teenager drama everywhere. Eggman is almost certainly the culprit, though he furiously denies all accusations. Fat bastard.
YOU WERE OFF CAMPUS AT THE TIME, IF I RECALL.
Yeah... thankfully. Not that my "double" dinner date was that much better.
ENTRY: JANUARY 3RD, 2010
I was none the wiser when Max and Bulba swapped back in January, oops. Jeff unexpectedly falls victim to some strange transformation and turns into a Mr. Saturn. Jeff retained a few physical features unique to him such as his freckles and glasses, and knowledge of who he was and who he knew strangely enough. Falcon and I took turns babysitting him until he returned to normal one week later, as jokingly predicted.
ENTRY: DECEMBER 24TH, 2009
Christmas Eve. I experienced a size transformation due to my foolish consumption of a muffin laced with... some sort of shrinking mushroom, courtesy of Louie, Kamek and Bowser en route to Falcon's place for dinner. I shrank down to no taller than 6 inches in height. The effect was remedied shortly after I was rescued but that was needless to say the worst Christmas ever.
ENTRY: DECEMBER 8TH, 2009
Falcon informs me that Olimar has transformed into a red pikmin. He has no idea how it happened. This effect, not surprisingly, lasts approximately a week before Olimar returns to normal. There were no distinguishing features unique to Olimar while he was in this form from what I could see, unlike with Jeff when he transformed into a Mr. Saturn.
ENTRY: OCTOBER 2009
...The last week of this month was met with ominous rain and thunderstorms, and slow, dark shifts in personality for several faculty and students, interestingly all Pokemon. Jeff is attacked by Nyx and he theorized it might be "Pokemon rabies", though a gunship scan later gives him a clean bill of health. Other attacks are reported, at least four of them, and I even intervened a fight between Blacky and Lucas personally. She later returns to normal, her personal account of the event, though vague, is probably the best glimpse into this transformation. Everything seemed to climax the night of Halloween after it finally stopped raining, and the school became infested with... strange digital zombie creatures. Power was shut off, and anyone with super natural abilities could not use them. For example, Falcon could not combust, King Boo could not become ethereal and go through doors, and was I was not anywhere near my full strength. Anyone who simply came into physical contact with the creatures also became... zombie-like. There was nothing we could do when Ionia... Everyone and everything returned to normal by sunrise.
ENTRY: SEPTEMBER 12TH, 2009
Falcon, much to my chagrin transformed into a rambunctious, whiny, over-confident 17 year old. When I asked him about it, he explained that there was weird light and "everything got trippy for a second." He ran wild for a week under numerous aliases; notable mishaps included setting part of the library on fire, burning off Olimar's eyebrows, and disrupting my... temporary substitution of Home Economics class with icing in inappropriate places. Acts clearly reflective of his teenage mentality. Also interesting to note, his body did not retain any scars he had acquired over the years. They returned as he returned back to his normal age.
ENTRY: JULY 2009
Hn... who could forget Nancy's Infamous Bake Sale which resulted in a mass age-reversal across the entire school? Teachers became younger, students became older. The source was traced back to some strange ingredient. The effects lasted one week. My recollections of it all are fuzzy at best. I do remember those nightmares near the end of the week. Something I'd rather not remember...
ENTRY: JANUARY 2009
The school-wide gender switch... I really don't want to talk about that one. We already traced that one back to a contaminate in the water anyway, so there's no mystery here. This lasted roughly a week, if I recall. One... horribly awkward week.
ANY PREVIOUS ENTRIES SHARE COMMON KEYWORDS, "HEART SWAP" AND "GOD DAMN MANAPHY".
...Ha yeah. He's since left the school, all those instances can be confirmed. There was Falcon and Ionia, Goose and Surge, Falcon and Olimar, Jeff and myself, Snake and Ocelot... Liquid... Ocelot., Otacon and Professor Oak, probably more I can't recall at the moment, or swaps I didn't experience first hand. They were all very frustrating...
WITH THE EXCEPTION OF HALLOWEEN AND JULY, THESE TRANSFORMATIONS SEEM TO LAST ON AVERAGE: ONE WEEK.
Right, but that doesn't really bring me any closer to how or why, or who. Hm...
I should see what Ollie thinks of this...
--...END RECORDING.--