Xmas Presents from Samus 2008 [action]
[Samus probably beat up several dozen soccer moms at the local mall and vroom vroom beep beep ran over people getting gifts for people. All her students got various flavored candy canes. Char, Nyx, Fang and Pokey may or may not of gotten the broken ones at the bottom of the box. And now she is very, very broke for the next 2, 3 months.]
From Samus, To:
Snake: What, spoiling the boyfriend? Pffffffft. 1) headband of infinite ammo A super awesome cool zippo lighter with twin snakes [probably in a tribal or tattoo-like design] on it because she will not buy him smokes but having a cool lighter is a-ok. There's also one of those nifty leather zippo lighter belt holders with it. 2) A couple of work shirts and cool regular shirts because he seems to have a bad habit of ripping them up for some reason. 3) A helmet, fingerless biker gloves that may or may not coincidentally look kinda like Big Boss's gloves and a spare key to her bike. Inside the helmet is a handwritten note on folded paper that reads; "This is helpful." 4) The most delicious dinner he's ever eaten, restaurant of his choice, her treat. She's owed him since homecoming anyway...
Otacon: 1) IT TOOK A SOOPER SEKRIT SPACE MISSION to a lonely little Space Pirate outpost where she asploded it when she was done, obviously but actual, real, Gundam parts. Not a whole Gundam, obviously but like, some of the plating off one of the arms and some internal gears. Whatever those Space Pirate nodes nerds had there. 2) Oh, and some generic chocolate Pocky. Otacon probably has it already but she's not going to be arsed to dig around for weird and rare flavors.
Olimar: 1) A GIANTIC BASKET OF ASSORTED SWEETS she may or may not had a hard time resisting herself; candies, chocolates, cakes, cookies. It's the good stuff. 2) A telescope.
Falcon: She kind of had a hard time shopping for Falcon! 1) Some very retro and 80's looking car seats and fuzzy dice. 2) a Radar detector. Not that he really needs it [probably?] but she figured if the autopilot wasn't working... 3) Various hand-picked bumper stickers. She is especially fond of that red and white one. I should note, she packaged this all in a box within a box. The outside box contains one lump of coal.
Jeff: What, spoiling the fake!son? Pffffffft. 1) GIGANTIC Knex set. 2) a small box with various half-finished/given up/broken/failed personal projects. [An alternate version of that scouter she used in the New Pork City infiltration mission is included] 3) Venus's newest CD. And no, Samus did not sign it. 4) Also, a telescope! 5)Some socks and undies because that's what mom's do. She hasn't mailed this out yet because she wants to deliver it personally.
Ionia: 3 or 4 matchbox F-Zero toy cars.
Bowser: 1) ipod with a fuck ton of classical music on it. 2) a small bottle of wine.
Kyle: 1) One giant bottle of wine. 2) subscription to Playboy.
Leon: 1) A $50 gift certificate to Bed Bath and Beyond [or equivalent store], 2) As much as she wanted to get him candles, there was a lava-lamp on sale and she got that instead! 3) one of those rubber gag-knives.
Rouge: A super cool security jacket.
Geno: A navy blue scarf and matching beanie sort of hat.
Mei Ling: An oriental wall scroll painting thing with proverb on it. (She is going to ask/asked Otacon to mail this to her ;_;)
Martha: (was also mailed out) Is also getting an oriental wall scroll painting thing, and a big ball of sparkly yarn.
Ocelot/Liquid: Pink undies. They were wrapped in the gayest pink/purple sparkly package and left in front of his dorm. There were also thumb-tacks stuck in various places in the box, with all due intent for him to prick his fingers.
To Samus, From:
Kyle: a subscription to Playgirl a gift card to a liquor store and some Tortoise Wax FOR ALL HER SPACESHIP AND ROBOT SUIT POLISHING NEEDS. And so she did.
Jet: A do-it-yourself restraining order kit, ohoho.
Rouge: A book called "How to Kick Those Pushover Guys and Beat the Shit Outta Them Forever" LIKE SHE NEEDS THIS but she's gonna' read it anyway for shits and giggles. <3
Bowser: An expertly crafted Russian Matryoshka in the style of a Metroid. The top is made of 100% diamond, with a sterling silver bottom. In the smallest doll, laying on a velvet pillow: a sterling silver locket in the shape of a Metroid. What no picture inside awwww A note is attached: "This is why I went into space. Happy?" >BC No, she's not.
Leon: a set of exotic Lylatian candles, and a $200 gift card to eat steak, ramen, eggs and booze decently XD
Ionia: a pencil-crayon drawing of the strange robot that stole her voice! It's totally hanging on her refrigerator.
Rawk: an autographed Rawk speedo, complete with a gold-plated "Free Sex" coupon in the pocket.
Falcon: A super special awesome custom leather biking jacket that has room for boobs. She is also probably going to take him up on the installing-G-Diffusers-on-the-not-Akira-bike one day soonish.
Olimar: Some scented candles and nonsuspicious candy with a gift certificate. She probably spent it on food for herself and Snake. BT
Smee: Super crazy amazing hancrafted miniature figure of Samus doing a random pose.
Lance: Gold-plated Pokeball with RYHORN inside. [awesome!]
Char: roast carcass with mistletoe tied to it. Spoilers: Samus found it delicious.
Bulba: Tiny box of hand-made cookies.
Maxwell: A somewhat nice wine~
Crazy hand: Christmas Bonus and a DVD of High School Musical
Ana: Mini Lava Cakes with peppermint bark chocolates.
Slippy: box o' chocolates. And then Samus gained 20lbs over Christmas break.
Snake: The gun used against Pokey in the hallway one of his first nights at the school, chair massage pads, and the tranq gun used in the New Pork City infiltration mission with an extra note attached that reads, "This is helpful."
From Samus, To:
Snake: What, spoiling the boyfriend? Pffffffft. 1) headband of infinite ammo A super awesome cool zippo lighter with twin snakes [probably in a tribal or tattoo-like design] on it because she will not buy him smokes but having a cool lighter is a-ok. There's also one of those nifty leather zippo lighter belt holders with it. 2) A couple of work shirts and cool regular shirts because he seems to have a bad habit of ripping them up for some reason. 3) A helmet, fingerless biker gloves that may or may not coincidentally look kinda like Big Boss's gloves and a spare key to her bike. Inside the helmet is a handwritten note on folded paper that reads; "This is helpful." 4) The most delicious dinner he's ever eaten, restaurant of his choice, her treat. She's owed him since homecoming anyway...
Otacon: 1) IT TOOK A SOOPER SEKRIT SPACE MISSION to a lonely little Space Pirate outpost where she asploded it when she was done, obviously but actual, real, Gundam parts. Not a whole Gundam, obviously but like, some of the plating off one of the arms and some internal gears. Whatever those Space Pirate nodes nerds had there. 2) Oh, and some generic chocolate Pocky. Otacon probably has it already but she's not going to be arsed to dig around for weird and rare flavors.
Olimar: 1) A GIANTIC BASKET OF ASSORTED SWEETS she may or may not had a hard time resisting herself; candies, chocolates, cakes, cookies. It's the good stuff. 2) A telescope.
Falcon: She kind of had a hard time shopping for Falcon! 1) Some very retro and 80's looking car seats and fuzzy dice. 2) a Radar detector. Not that he really needs it [probably?] but she figured if the autopilot wasn't working... 3) Various hand-picked bumper stickers. She is especially fond of that red and white one. I should note, she packaged this all in a box within a box. The outside box contains one lump of coal.
Jeff: What, spoiling the fake!son? Pffffffft. 1) GIGANTIC Knex set. 2) a small box with various half-finished/given up/broken/failed personal projects. [An alternate version of that scouter she used in the New Pork City infiltration mission is included] 3) Venus's newest CD. And no, Samus did not sign it. 4) Also, a telescope! 5)Some socks and undies because that's what mom's do. She hasn't mailed this out yet because she wants to deliver it personally.
Ionia: 3 or 4 matchbox F-Zero toy cars.
Bowser: 1) ipod with a fuck ton of classical music on it. 2) a small bottle of wine.
Kyle: 1) One giant bottle of wine. 2) subscription to Playboy.
Leon: 1) A $50 gift certificate to Bed Bath and Beyond [or equivalent store], 2) As much as she wanted to get him candles, there was a lava-lamp on sale and she got that instead! 3) one of those rubber gag-knives.
Rouge: A super cool security jacket.
Geno: A navy blue scarf and matching beanie sort of hat.
Mei Ling: An oriental wall scroll painting thing with proverb on it. (She is going to ask/asked Otacon to mail this to her ;_;)
Martha: (was also mailed out) Is also getting an oriental wall scroll painting thing, and a big ball of sparkly yarn.
Ocelot/Liquid: Pink undies. They were wrapped in the gayest pink/purple sparkly package and left in front of his dorm. There were also thumb-tacks stuck in various places in the box, with all due intent for him to prick his fingers.
To Samus, From:
Kyle: a subscription to Playgirl a gift card to a liquor store and some Tortoise Wax FOR ALL HER SPACESHIP AND ROBOT SUIT POLISHING NEEDS. And so she did.
Jet: A do-it-yourself restraining order kit, ohoho.
Rouge: A book called "How to Kick Those Pushover Guys and Beat the Shit Outta Them Forever" LIKE SHE NEEDS THIS but she's gonna' read it anyway for shits and giggles. <3
Bowser: An expertly crafted Russian Matryoshka in the style of a Metroid. The top is made of 100% diamond, with a sterling silver bottom. In the smallest doll, laying on a velvet pillow: a sterling silver locket in the shape of a Metroid. What no picture inside awwww A note is attached: "This is why I went into space. Happy?" >BC No, she's not.
Leon: a set of exotic Lylatian candles, and a $200 gift card to eat steak, ramen, eggs and booze decently XD
Ionia: a pencil-crayon drawing of the strange robot that stole her voice! It's totally hanging on her refrigerator.
Rawk: an autographed Rawk speedo, complete with a gold-plated "Free Sex" coupon in the pocket.
Falcon: A super special awesome custom leather biking jacket that has room for boobs. She is also probably going to take him up on the installing-G-Diffusers-on-the-not-Akira-bike one day soonish.
Olimar: Some scented candles and nonsuspicious candy with a gift certificate. She probably spent it on food for herself and Snake. BT
Smee: Super crazy amazing hancrafted miniature figure of Samus doing a random pose.
Lance: Gold-plated Pokeball with RYHORN inside. [awesome!]
Char: roast carcass with mistletoe tied to it. Spoilers: Samus found it delicious.
Bulba: Tiny box of hand-made cookies.
Maxwell: A somewhat nice wine~
Crazy hand: Christmas Bonus and a DVD of High School Musical
Ana: Mini Lava Cakes with peppermint bark chocolates.
Slippy: box o' chocolates. And then Samus gained 20lbs over Christmas break.
Snake: The gun used against Pokey in the hallway one of his first nights at the school, chair massage pads, and the tranq gun used in the New Pork City infiltration mission with an extra note attached that reads, "This is helpful."