Dating and Ultimate
So I was thinking about things and realized that I don't think I could ever date a non-frisbee boy. And I guess this isn't necessarily an incredibly new revelation, it seems particularly pertinent. Granted, this could chnage if I stopped playing ultimate competitively, but unless that happens, it's pretty much gotta be all about the frisbee. And that's a weird thought.
Yes yes yes, I do realize that this criteria is self-imposed, but in some ways it's not. Mostly because I don't think a relationship would ever work out (even if I tried) with someone that didn't "get" ultimate, and it's nearly impossible to "get" ultimate without having played. Because unlike other competitive sports, it has its own definitive culture that surrounds it and distinguishes it. No, I'm not trying to argue for the legitimacy of ultimate as a sport - you either agree with me or you don't and I've really stopped caring about who does. The point here is that with competitive ultimate, it really does decide what you do every weekend. But that's ok to ultimate players because it becomes their entire life. Now, hockey was my entire life, but I burnt out from that. And you know why? There wasn't a built in social structure. And that's really what distinguishes ultimate from other competitive sports and why I couldn't date someone not in ultimate. I mean, it really takes another ultimate players to understand why you would spend money you don't have to drive an hour for practice or go away every weekend and sleep in your car or crash 10 to a hotel room because that's what you can afford or beg friends to put you up or how the tournament party is actually the coolest place to be or how you have friends all over the country and when you say goodbye at the end of a weekend, you're not worried because you know that you'll see them again.
One of the most popular sayings around ultimate is "See you on the fields". When I first started, I totally didn't understand it. I mean, do you really expect to run into that many people just randomly? And the answer, quite plainly, is yes. For as big ultimate is, it's still a super small community. When you're looking at the competitive circuit, we're talking about 16 open, women's, and mixed teams that make Nationals every year. Granted, there are maybe 6 times that number competing, but all in all, you're not looking at more than maybe 2000 max playing club ultimate. That's really not that many. Plus, there are just tournaments that you go to where you will see people at. And sure, sometimes they're hookups that you would have liked to forget, but you know what? They're still there. And I think that's the thing that I like about ultimate - you know people. I mean, the fact that Jim Parinella is finally retiring and not playing on DoG this year is a big deal. He's a celebrity within ultimate circles. And I think facebook just further proves my point. I look at girls I met or played with at some tournament and look at the "mutual friends" part and see that we have friends in common from all over. How does Georgia know Kerry? Georgia lives in Chicago while Kerry is from Albany. And then there's Brevin who's from DC. And yet, they all know each other. And that's the beautfy of ultimate.
Which brings me back to my original point. My friends are largely ultimate based. Between the months of April and November, I can expect it to take up most of my time. And yes, that's a choice I make. But because ultimate satisfies all of my needs (athletic, social, competitive goals, etc.), I'm ok with that. I've realized that by now, in order to "get" me, in many respects, you need to "get" ultimate. You need to understand why I love that it's self-refereed, why I love making up silly cheers for the other team, why I love playing those goofy games, why I'm always so irresistably happy when I play, why sometimes I just know I'm getting that layout D, and why, when everything else is falling down around me, I still glow when I play.
I'm not sure I've conveyed this correctly, but as I sit here in my t-shirt from the team I played with last weekend thinking about the upcoming summer, I can do nothing but be filled with glee. Maybe I have chosen to overlook my "one true love" because they don't play ultimate, but I don't really believe that shit anyways. Ultimate boys work for me, and I'm ok with that. In fact, let me generalize even more - ultimate works for me, and I'm more than ok with that.
Yes yes yes, I do realize that this criteria is self-imposed, but in some ways it's not. Mostly because I don't think a relationship would ever work out (even if I tried) with someone that didn't "get" ultimate, and it's nearly impossible to "get" ultimate without having played. Because unlike other competitive sports, it has its own definitive culture that surrounds it and distinguishes it. No, I'm not trying to argue for the legitimacy of ultimate as a sport - you either agree with me or you don't and I've really stopped caring about who does. The point here is that with competitive ultimate, it really does decide what you do every weekend. But that's ok to ultimate players because it becomes their entire life. Now, hockey was my entire life, but I burnt out from that. And you know why? There wasn't a built in social structure. And that's really what distinguishes ultimate from other competitive sports and why I couldn't date someone not in ultimate. I mean, it really takes another ultimate players to understand why you would spend money you don't have to drive an hour for practice or go away every weekend and sleep in your car or crash 10 to a hotel room because that's what you can afford or beg friends to put you up or how the tournament party is actually the coolest place to be or how you have friends all over the country and when you say goodbye at the end of a weekend, you're not worried because you know that you'll see them again.
One of the most popular sayings around ultimate is "See you on the fields". When I first started, I totally didn't understand it. I mean, do you really expect to run into that many people just randomly? And the answer, quite plainly, is yes. For as big ultimate is, it's still a super small community. When you're looking at the competitive circuit, we're talking about 16 open, women's, and mixed teams that make Nationals every year. Granted, there are maybe 6 times that number competing, but all in all, you're not looking at more than maybe 2000 max playing club ultimate. That's really not that many. Plus, there are just tournaments that you go to where you will see people at. And sure, sometimes they're hookups that you would have liked to forget, but you know what? They're still there. And I think that's the thing that I like about ultimate - you know people. I mean, the fact that Jim Parinella is finally retiring and not playing on DoG this year is a big deal. He's a celebrity within ultimate circles. And I think facebook just further proves my point. I look at girls I met or played with at some tournament and look at the "mutual friends" part and see that we have friends in common from all over. How does Georgia know Kerry? Georgia lives in Chicago while Kerry is from Albany. And then there's Brevin who's from DC. And yet, they all know each other. And that's the beautfy of ultimate.
Which brings me back to my original point. My friends are largely ultimate based. Between the months of April and November, I can expect it to take up most of my time. And yes, that's a choice I make. But because ultimate satisfies all of my needs (athletic, social, competitive goals, etc.), I'm ok with that. I've realized that by now, in order to "get" me, in many respects, you need to "get" ultimate. You need to understand why I love that it's self-refereed, why I love making up silly cheers for the other team, why I love playing those goofy games, why I'm always so irresistably happy when I play, why sometimes I just know I'm getting that layout D, and why, when everything else is falling down around me, I still glow when I play.
I'm not sure I've conveyed this correctly, but as I sit here in my t-shirt from the team I played with last weekend thinking about the upcoming summer, I can do nothing but be filled with glee. Maybe I have chosen to overlook my "one true love" because they don't play ultimate, but I don't really believe that shit anyways. Ultimate boys work for me, and I'm ok with that. In fact, let me generalize even more - ultimate works for me, and I'm more than ok with that.