Reflective
Daphne, Piotr, Jon, and Macy have all left Montreal for the summer. When I went to bed last night at 3pm there were no people crashing my room just to say "hi". No one crawled into bed with me cause they were lonely. No random break downs to solve. No obnoxiously loud bass playing. No being serendaded with wooden spoons and the backstreet boys. No remnants of my pesto being stolen, again. No notes left on my computer. Just a bed....all to myself.
Note - I did just say I went to bed at 3. That's what happends after a week of sleep deprival because of exams and subsequently because everyone is leaving and you want as much time with them as possible. And that's why at 7 in the morning I've already answered tons of emails, started looking for an apartment, made chili and started making soup. (Yes, I am done with school. So phooey to the rest of you with finals and in hell. Heh.)
Before Daph left, we were talking and she hit on a major truth about both of us. The reason romantic relationships are so hard for me is because I put such intensity into my normal friendships. And to even begin to comprehend that on a romantic level....that's just very ridiculous.
To say that I've been going through an identity crisis recently would be a bit of an understatement. And I think that's what has been so wonderful about Daphne and Neenah. They keep reaffirming what I'm going through and encouraging me. I can hear their voices echo through my head, "It sucks and it is hard, but it is ok. You'll be stronger and better because of it." Neenah keeps commmenting that the reason that she's so happy now is because she has true friends. She has friends that support her and tell her not to go to med school but to start that catering business. And I have friends that tell me I should get dreads.
When Daph left yesterday, I cried. But it wasn't a terrible awful cry. It was a pleasant achy one. I cried because it hurt to let her go. I cried because it hurt because I'd truly let her in. It's true, the reason your friends from University are the ones you keep for the rest of your life - because they're the true ones. They're the ones that are around as you're learning about yourself. And the more you know, the more you have to give. In just 4 months, she changed me and became me more than anyone else ever has. So saying goodbye to her was like saying goodbye to a part of myself. This is not to slight any other friendship I've ever had or to "rank" them, because that's just lame. People are God's gift to humanity. Not everyone needs to be your Daphne, nor should they be. Anyone who's ever served a purpose (from laughing to teaching to enlightenment to love) in my life deserves my everything. And you have it.
Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry?
I have.
Note - I did just say I went to bed at 3. That's what happends after a week of sleep deprival because of exams and subsequently because everyone is leaving and you want as much time with them as possible. And that's why at 7 in the morning I've already answered tons of emails, started looking for an apartment, made chili and started making soup. (Yes, I am done with school. So phooey to the rest of you with finals and in hell. Heh.)
Before Daph left, we were talking and she hit on a major truth about both of us. The reason romantic relationships are so hard for me is because I put such intensity into my normal friendships. And to even begin to comprehend that on a romantic level....that's just very ridiculous.
To say that I've been going through an identity crisis recently would be a bit of an understatement. And I think that's what has been so wonderful about Daphne and Neenah. They keep reaffirming what I'm going through and encouraging me. I can hear their voices echo through my head, "It sucks and it is hard, but it is ok. You'll be stronger and better because of it." Neenah keeps commmenting that the reason that she's so happy now is because she has true friends. She has friends that support her and tell her not to go to med school but to start that catering business. And I have friends that tell me I should get dreads.
When Daph left yesterday, I cried. But it wasn't a terrible awful cry. It was a pleasant achy one. I cried because it hurt to let her go. I cried because it hurt because I'd truly let her in. It's true, the reason your friends from University are the ones you keep for the rest of your life - because they're the true ones. They're the ones that are around as you're learning about yourself. And the more you know, the more you have to give. In just 4 months, she changed me and became me more than anyone else ever has. So saying goodbye to her was like saying goodbye to a part of myself. This is not to slight any other friendship I've ever had or to "rank" them, because that's just lame. People are God's gift to humanity. Not everyone needs to be your Daphne, nor should they be. Anyone who's ever served a purpose (from laughing to teaching to enlightenment to love) in my life deserves my everything. And you have it.
Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry?
I have.