frustrated and not...
I saw Dan today. He came here to clean out his stuff and to officially tell the registrar that he isn't coming back. I got to eat lunch with him; which was great and yet so akward. I mean what do you say to a person when you have so many things you want to say but don't know how to? It was great seeing him again to wish him well, but part of me wanted to beg and plead for him to stay even though that would not do me any good. I went to pieces in my room after he left. I know that in the long run he is going to be a happier person where he is now but I doubt he realizes the impact he has had on my life or what his friendship has meant to me.
It got me realizing too how much I miss Meredith as well. She's not here anymore either and I have to resort to talking to her on this computer instead of being able to call out to her and call her a poophead. Or see her act all crazy when we used to go to dinner together. But most of all it makes me realize that there is a void in my heart that will never be restored.
I have great friends here. My suitemates are some of the best in terms of people that there are and I have an amazing boyfriend, yet I am still lonely. I now have this void that nothing can replace and I don't know how to get back that which I have lost. It isn't helping much that I am overwhelmed by work because I am an overachiever who needs to take certain classes in order to go to Spain and graduate on time.
I know that I will be okay very soon, but I am not too happy right now. Sure, my classes are interesting, and my friends are great and there are a lot of things going on but I am lonely for how things were and for my friends back home that I don't get to see. Once soccer and karate start back up again, I will be fine because I will be going out and exercising and seeing new people. I kind of feel like the flavor is lost though in making new friends because everyone already has a group that they are a part of. What should I do?
It got me realizing too how much I miss Meredith as well. She's not here anymore either and I have to resort to talking to her on this computer instead of being able to call out to her and call her a poophead. Or see her act all crazy when we used to go to dinner together. But most of all it makes me realize that there is a void in my heart that will never be restored.
I have great friends here. My suitemates are some of the best in terms of people that there are and I have an amazing boyfriend, yet I am still lonely. I now have this void that nothing can replace and I don't know how to get back that which I have lost. It isn't helping much that I am overwhelmed by work because I am an overachiever who needs to take certain classes in order to go to Spain and graduate on time.
I know that I will be okay very soon, but I am not too happy right now. Sure, my classes are interesting, and my friends are great and there are a lot of things going on but I am lonely for how things were and for my friends back home that I don't get to see. Once soccer and karate start back up again, I will be fine because I will be going out and exercising and seeing new people. I kind of feel like the flavor is lost though in making new friends because everyone already has a group that they are a part of. What should I do?